AIBU?
To think if a first date goes well, you kiss?
Kezi4 · 20/06/2017 11:28
Please settle a debate!
My friend is a serial dater who has a long history of only liking women who aren't interested. He always thinks first dates have gone excellently, despite a complete lack of physical contact, then is shocked by the 'let's just be friends' text. I think a kiss at the end of a first date is a way to signify you're both interested - doesn't have to be a full-on snog.
AIBU?
Kezi4 · 20/06/2017 11:39
Oh, IABU then 
All the successful first dates I have been on have involved something along the lines of dinner and drinks, then a kiss at the end. If at the end of the date there'd been no physical contact at all and we'd made no plan to meet again, I'd feel we had no chemistry and assume he wasn't interested.
Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 20/06/2017 11:44
If you date a lot, like I did at one stage, you don't want to kiss everyone who seems vaguely nice on a first date. If he's very keen though, he should ask them out by the end of the first date/immediately afterwards on a second. That way he signals he likes them without plunging at them when they are not keen. This also gives them a way out if they don't fancy snogging him.
Kezi4 · 20/06/2017 11:50
Four I agree but he's a strange one; he dates a lot but seems to only like the ones who aren't interested.
If he kisses (or more) after the first date, he never seems bothered about pursuing it, but if the woman shows absolutely no interest, he gets really keen, waits a few days, then is upset when they decline the second date.
He's been like this for years now and I'm not really sure what to say to him. He'd love to have a girlfriend.
arcticnead1984 · 20/06/2017 12:12
I've been quite a few dates this year and the only one where we kisse don the first date was very awkward. I wasn't expecting it and he went in for a kiss on the lips..I thought cheek..omg...I feel nauseous even thinking about it.
It's too awkward as you've no idea if the other person fancies you or will reciprocate..!
Also PP is correct..youre still virtual strangers. Better to wait until end of 2nd date :)
mygorgeousmilo · 20/06/2017 12:20
Not necessarily, no. My husband and I didn't kiss on the first, but ended up in bed together after the second date what does that mean? It means none of it is a rule and there's no way of measuring if something will last by what happens on the first date. What will be, will be. Shame your friend keeps getting friend zoned though!
Kezi4 · 20/06/2017 12:22
Maybe I'm just needy/forward
To the people who have had successful first dates with not even a kiss on the cheek, did you feel any intimacy at all?
I don't think my friend's very good at distinguishing between a flirty, meaningful connection and a chat.
kaytee87 · 20/06/2017 12:24
To the people who have had successful first dates with not even a kiss on the cheek, did you feel any intimacy at all?
I'm not sure how intimate you can feel towards someone after one date.
My dh and I were texting for a while before our first date so I knew I wanted to at least get to know him, then the dates were us getting to know each other.
Kezi4 · 20/06/2017 12:39
kaytee I guess lingering glances, implied future meetings?
He mostly meets them online, chats for a bit, all seems promising, then after the first date it's either:
- Woman is actively interested and shows this by kissing, sex and/or planning a second date. Friend is uninterested.
2. Woman shows no interest, friend thinks it went well. Woman declines second date.
3. Woman effectively friend-zones and friend commences campaign of unrequited love. Sometimes there's a hint of potential future romance; often not.
I definitely think there's an element of wanting the chase. I am far too lazy and straight-forward to play such games so I don't really understand.
MsHopey · 20/06/2017 12:42
I was so nervous on my first date with my husband I knew he thought I wasn't interested. I kissed him at the end of it just to show him I wanted another date. He told me at a later stage that if I hadn't kissed him he probably wouldn't have asked me out again because he'd have thought I wasn't interested.
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