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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fuming at DH embarrassing me

72 replies

BlackAppleCore · 20/06/2017 08:45

DHs mate was here yesterday and unfortunately we have a problem with smelly towels so whilst his mate was here DH came to me and said "yet another towel that stinks". I laughed awkwardly as his mate was there so DH dead serious said "why do they though?". I said "what??" So he said "why do all the towels stink?" I said I didn't know so he said it was because I wipe my massive crotch on them. His mate was in hysterics so I just gave him the look and said something like "wow, very grown up of you" and walked off. I heard his mate say "as if you just said that to her!" And DH said "no it's an in joke that she's pretending she doesn't know about. She's got a pair of jeans that make her crotch look massive, that's what I was on about". I'm so embarrassed and have told him yet he insists it's an "in joke" that I have decided to "forget".

AIBU to think that shouting about your wife's crotch in front of mates isn't a joke at all? This morning I yelled "wow your crotch looks so tiny in those shorts it's practically concave!" In the driveway to which he snapped "be quiet! Jesus the neighbours are out in their garden for fucks sake". So how is mine not a joke but his is???

OP posts:
TonySopranosVest · 20/06/2017 12:44

I was reading your OP thinking "Why are the towels stinking YOUR problem?" and my mouth literally (and I'm using that literally) fell open at the massive crotch "joke".

Fucking Hell. In my lifetime I put up with an immense pile of old shite from an immense pile of old shitehawks but I am telling you right now...one word about my cunt and they would have never seen, smelled, tasted or frolicked within it again.

I am gobsmacked. Seriously.

Mesmerised · 20/06/2017 12:45

How horribly insulting and ungentlmanly. Ugh! I could have no respect for a man like that. Sorry OP.

missiondecision · 20/06/2017 12:51

I'd be keeping my massive crotch to myself until he makes a meaningful apologygrovels for a months

PicardsCombOver · 20/06/2017 13:02

What TonySoprano said. You don't deserve to be treated like that Op

PuppyMonkey · 20/06/2017 13:08

It must be a laugh a minute in your house. Confused

Also enjoying the satisfying combination of LTB posts and handy tips on washing towels on this thread.Grin

expatinscotland · 20/06/2017 13:10

'Why do the towels stink?' 'Why don't you figure that out for yourself, brainiac. You wash them from now on.'

quizqueen · 20/06/2017 13:10

You both live in the house You are both equally responsible for the cleanliness of everything inside it. If he is not happy with your standards, I suggest that you tell him that from now on he is responsible for his own washing. Revenge is also sweet so get a friend round and talk about the things you don't like about him in front of him then say it's just your little joke - does he wee on the toilet seat, not wash his hands afterwards, does he ever smell, does he leave gym stuff in a kit bag for ages and so on.

KatyBerry · 20/06/2017 13:15

sounds like he embarrassed the friend too

what a knob

mumofthemonsters808 · 20/06/2017 13:17

I honestly do not know a single Husband or Partner who'd speak like this. This is 13 year old boy talk, I'd be shell shocked if it came out of my adult Husbands mouth, I could not be in a relationship with a VIz fan.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 20/06/2017 13:18

I'd rub the stinking towels in his fucking face

alltouchedout · 20/06/2017 13:19

Bloody hell, OP. DH and I have a weird joke style in our relationship and often hurt ourselves laughing saying things to each other than people outside our relationship would probably think are appalling- but the point is we are both laughing, and we know where the limits are, and if either of us accidentally genuinely offends or upsets the other we apologise and mean it and remember it. And we do not drag others into it.

I know why your towels stink, btw, it's because they are being used by a complete shithead.

honeyroar · 20/06/2017 13:22

I couldn't be with someone that spoke to me like that in public, that's so rude. Buy him a bale of towels, wrap them up and tell him they're a leaving present.

fluffiphlox · 20/06/2017 13:24

How vulgar. Get him to wash the towels.
PS Why would you put up with that? Him I mean, not the towels.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 20/06/2017 13:27

This has just reminded me of an awful smelling towel that got pulled out from under my bed once. Think i had used it after the shower, it was really wet, and then i wiped up some spilled hot chocolate with it (made with milk) and it got kicked under the bed like everything else when i was clearing a path or "tidying". It got forgotten, came out again black with mildew and off milk. We have awful condensation too (no heating) so we have some grim mildewy black towels on all the windowsils too, delightful.

Redsippycup · 20/06/2017 13:34

Bloody hell! My DP would have been embarrassed to mention the smelly towel in front of a mate, never mind the rest of it! What a complete and utter fucking knob.

Definitely they need a really hot wash with no fabric softener, maybe more than one. Should be pretty easy to dry them quickly at the minute - hang in the sun if poss, that will kill bacteria too.

If the machine is a bit whiffy put some household bleach in there and run it empty on a hot wash. Then do another empty wash/rinse to wash the bleach away (and maybe only put white stuff in for the first wash afterwards)

Redsippycup · 20/06/2017 13:37

Oh, also, don't click the door shut when it is empty - that will stop damp sitting in the machine and getting all warm and gross.

But be careful any pets can't get in there unnoticed.

Quadrangle · 20/06/2017 13:38

it got kicked under the bed like everything else when i was clearing a path or "tidying

That made me laugh Grin

deffoncforthis · 20/06/2017 13:39

OP - that's disgusting. I'm with PP on letting him know he's on thin ice if he isn't usually so disrespectful and just has a moronic sense of humour. I would possibly even consider taking the piss out of him on an ongoing basis for the shit+stupid+weird attempt at a joke. I would also ask for an apology to be done in front of friend since the "joke" where he said you had a giant camel toe, was in front of friend. Fair's fucking fair

Furthermore towels would now be his job as his reward for being a connoisseur of fucking towel smells. After all he's the expert.

@Lorelai - now we just need someone to bizarrely chip in, in support of hubby.

Brahms3rdracket · 20/06/2017 13:41

Beautiful pay back OP, great taste of his own medicine. Obviously he's embarrassed and pretending to forget the in joke now Grin

Allthebestnamesareused · 20/06/2017 13:57

Op - is your DH Donald Trump?

absolutelynot · 20/06/2017 14:00

great response to a dickhead's 'joke'. eurgh.

Farfromtheusual · 20/06/2017 14:46

I like your come back and he is unreasonable in the way he reacted, however I don't get the big deal and actually had a little giggle! You sound like so much fun Wink

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