To ask if a relationship can overcome very opposing political views?

[Beadoren]

I've been with OH for ten years, since we were both quite young. At the beginning of our relationship neither of us were particularly interested in politics- apathetic if you will. As we've grown older and moved on with our lives we seem to have developed very different political swings (me left, him, right), and with the current climate being so polarised, and particularly with recent events, I find myself not being able to look at him in the same way. He is a wonderful man, but I'm really struggling with his lack of sympathy for the poor/migrants etc. He thinks Theresa May is a strong leaded and is pro the gentrification of London FGS?

AIBU and a leftie snowflake?

Both the far left, PC, finger-wagging brigade, AND the far right, Muslim-hating, everything-is-the-fault-of-the-immigrants brigade fuck me off, because they're both extreme, and never listen to the other side's viewpoint. I have no time for either and refuse to listen to them, or engage in any debate with them.

This is a worryingly thoughtless statement. Are you actually suggesting that leftists who think that not using hate speech is a good idea (do you consider them 'finger-wagging' because they pull you up on it?) are equivalent to the Islamophobic far right?

@vestel we have differing opinions, neither is more valid then the other's. I honestly don't believe there is a political party that can make everyone in the country happy, there is no way to do it perfectly. Who I vote for and who my husband votes for matters greatly, but we have different political beliefs because we view different matters as more important. Although he voted for a party that I could never vote for, he is a hard working, respectful man who cares for me and our family. I can't say he is wrong for prioritising different things above what I do, only that he thinks differently.

When I married my DH we had been friends for 10 years. We had never really discussed politics but from his general view on life I imagined him to be a Labour supporter like me. Turns out he was a fanatical supporter of Maggie Thatcher. However the only row we ever had was about the miners strike. There are some good films about that so I was able to subtley adjust his view. He is now a socialist and far more left wing than me, so don't give up hope.

Sounds very like my dh and I. Tho he's the leftie. Been together 12 years. Like you much more passionate now than years ago, tho we've never agreed on politics.
But we don't let it affect our relationship. We have brilliant heated debates and are forever trying to 'get the other to see sense'. But it's light hearted as we know our opinions are strong and different and that's just that.
Other than that brilliant relationship very happy. No way politics would be allowed to affect it. No point either.

Often on Broadcasting House (09:00 Radio 4 Sunday) is a couple (she is labour and he is tory) - very funny and clearly works for them. I work in the City and being a leftie am in the minority (though Brexit has shifted the goal posts and a lot of people changed sides last election which surprised me) - but have some dear friends who are (or at least were until the last election) conservative. All are compassionate and non are racist - and I recognise economists can have differing views so we can all be friends! Are you happy with your relationship? Does it work for you?

RescuePuppy

Just to clarify, he absolutely does not hate disabled people, nor is he racist or zenophobic. He just feels that the benefit system (specifically JSA etc) is abused and I think has no sympathy for people who have (in he's eyes) settled for what they have and not tried to make a better life for themselves. i think in his eyes there is a lot of responsibility on the individual and less on the state to get them ahead.

He's a bit thick, basically, OP

He doesn't understand that the UK is worth billions in terms of its cultural exports (music industry etc.)

He thinks success is linear and the only variable is how hard you work.

It must be a bit grim having to listen to uninformed nonsense all the time.

(I'm a music teacher in a secondary school and get laughed at by lots of parents for suggesting that their child might enjoy Music GCSE, as if it's a total waste of time, hence my rather belligerent viewpoint above!!)

My parents usually voted differently, they had shared values but differed on what society's practical solutions should be.
I think if you have come up by your own efforts and lived in a very deprived community you do know from experience that some people do put short term gratification ahead of long term goals, and do have chaotic lives, while others grab every opportunity they get. What do you and your dh agree on?

It can work. We met young as well, have been married for 13y, one socialist and one conservative.
We still have very interesting animated conversations. We often agree to stop talking about a subject as the conversation slowly becomes an argument. But DH did open my mind a lot - and I believe I did the same for him as well - as long as you respect eachother and understand the difference between explaining your point and trying to convince someone.

Does anyone ever have problematically left wing in laws? Someone somewhere must have. All we see on MN is Daily Mail reading in laws.

My mil reads the Daily Mail but says it's all lies and rubbish. My own mother used to read the Guardian but it isn't left wing enough any more so she boycotts it and reads the National - a Scottish Nationalist paper she deems politically acceptable.

She lectures, hectors and condescends to anyone who doesn't agree with her extreme views. DP does a lot of nodding and smiling.

It's less likely that people have problematically lefty PILs because most people in the 50+ category voted Tory 2 weeks ago.

Let's face it, the vast majority of people buying the Daily Mail in Sainsbos are 50+, too.

I can see that statistically, but all the over fifties in my family are raging, politically active lefties. I'm the white sheep of the family :)

Most of the older people I know are lefties, too. DH's family, on the other hand...

His Auntie lives in Spain for half the year and is a card-carrying UKIP supporter. I don't even know where to begin with that one...

I'm a liberal. DP is a moderate Tory. We agree on some things, but disagree on others. We both voted remain, and both support same-sex marriage. I support higher taxes to improve the NHS, he supports lower taxes and privatisation. We respect one another's views.

We both despise racist right-wing UKIP bigots and patronising middle-class PC virtue-signalling leftie do-gooders equally.

This only seems to be a problem for people on the left, it reveals their inability to accept differing opinions.

Yes, DH and I have differing political views.
I love having debates with him!
We are both capable of understanding each other's viewpoints and it makes elections more interesting.

User - I agree completely.

I'm left of centre myself, but even I find many lefties to be sanctimonious, judgmental and intolerant of disagreement.

At last parliament one of the SNP MPs was married to a Tory.

A tartan Tory married to the real deal. In reality, the SNP aren't a left wing party at all, their policies are centre-right or centerist at best. Certainly under Salmond, they were very pro-banker and pro-business. Sturgeon has perhaps dragged them fractionally towards the centre, but have they made real use of their tax raising powers? Have they balls!

This only seems to be a problem for people on the left, it reveals their inability to accept differing opinions

We both despise ...patronising middle-class PC virtue-signalling leftie do-gooders equally

Love the juxtaposition of these comments.

Irony much.

user147 really, I have encountered just as much, if not more intolerance from right wing reactionaries, who can't seem to stand people pointing out that their simplistic, 'String 'em up, kick 'em all out, send in the SAS' solutions to political problems might in some ways be flawed, impractical, illegal and counter-productive.

I think really the bottom line here is:

Left=kind
Right=mean