6yo asking to have her ears pierced...

[Whatsername17]

Wibu to let her? I'm thinking at the beginning of the holiday so they have time to heal ready for school. I didn't anticipate her asking this of me so young.

Both my dds asked about 7 cos their friends were getting them done. I said they needed to be old enough to clean them and take them out for PE if necessary. Consequently waited until end of Yr6 and both have been fine.

Personally I'd say no, and that she can have them done when she is 13. That will allow for her to be old enough to take care of them herself, remove them for pe lessons, and cope with potential allergic reactions.

When I had mine done in my teens they kept getting infected no matter how well I cleaned them. I used the recommended solution. I had them pierced at a proper studio. I did everything right, yet still they refused to heal. They hurt and wept and eventually I had to take them out and let them heal over. Basically I'm really allergic to most metals.

I've never successfully managed to heal any ear piercing really, and the ones that took best healed over when I took them out while pregnant with DS (I developed an allergy to all metal while pregnant).

Oddly the only piercing I've managed to successfully heal is my nipples, but I don't recommend those on a 5yr old!

My policy is that I will never consent to it. I'll never sign the form, so my children will need to wait until I don't need to. Simples.

Chevalier- the story you told is horrific. Poor child.

I have 2 DDs (6 and 9). Neither of them have their ears pierced and neither of them will be allowed to yet. I wasn't allowed to have mine pierced 'til I was 13... I won't necessarily make them wait that long 😂 I don't think earrings look very nice in young girls but maybe I'm just a bit old fashioned 🤔

Why are you asking mumsnet? It's up to you and your DD. My DD had hers done at 5, no problems, no infection, healed in no time and she was changing them herself by 6.
I had mine done at 5, for infected so I let them heal up until i had them done again at 10. It's people's personal preference.

'Kids are growing up too fast, kind of wish they would slow down a bit for their own sake. '

I agree but ear piercing has nothing whatsoever to do with growing up.

Morphene - with respect, you do not know my daughter. She thinks dhs piercings are 'cool' which is what has peaked her interest. That being said, I have no issue with dd telling me that she wants to wear a beautiful dress and then watching her twirl about in it, as she sometimes does. I will never allow my daughters to believe that they have to 'fit the mould' in order to be acceptable, but they don't have to break it either. Not if they don't want to. At present, my dd has the confidence to dance to her own tune. She would be outraged if you told her she couldn't do something because she is a girl. If you knew my child, you would see why I'm not worried about her feeling pressured by anyone else.

My dd is 6. She's asked for hers done in the holidays.
Im on the fence also.
I would take them out for her on the days she has PE and pop them back in when she gets home.
I've not sat her down yet and explained the implications of it. She might change her mind once I have.
She is quite grown up for her age. I'm certain she understand all the implications once I've explained.

op I don't understand - you keep saying she wants these to be like her dad, because she thinks he is cool. How is this her defining her unique personality?

It TOTALLY sounds like she only wants to do it to be like someone else, and not at all for her own reasons.

It doesn't matter who it is she is desperate to copy does it?

She will still be permanently altering her body to copy someone else?

I think "permanently" is a bit of a stretch. If she decides she doesn't like them in a year they'll close up.

It's not like she's having love/hate tattooed on her knuckles

Permanently is a massive stretch! Agree to disagree, Morphene. Really no sense in arguing the toss if you don't understand my answers or know my dd. I'm grateful for the opinions of others, always. It helps me to streamline my thoughts.

Lottie You may not think so, but I do think piercing your ears does have something to do with growing up.

I agree with Heedee

I was about 2 if that when I had mine done but it was acceptable then. I've been wondering what age I'd let my little girl get hers done and I'm leaning to either 5 or 6 just depends on if she wants them, will she let me clean them, would she be doin stuff that could cause harm to either her ears or earings and do I think so could cope with them being sore for up to a few weeks. Its up to you dont let anyone tell u what's best for the child if u think she's ready even after u telling her what it all involes then go for it

Jaques Ha, I got mine done at 16 and stopped wearing earrings at 17 after a not so fun spell in hospital. 20 years later, they haven't fully healed. You can still see the mark and feel the scar tissue.

op of course I don't know your DD, I think its kind of obvious when you ask a question on an anonymous forum that no one will answer with your specific child in mind. My opinion is that 6 yo do not have the capacity to make truly independent decisions that will affect them permanently and also potentially affect their health. I think that is specifically WHY guardianship of children's health and bodies resides with parents at that age.

It isn't so much that nothing you have posted has changed my mind on that regarding your actual DD, but that basically everything you have said about her child's reasons for wanting this proves this point in spades.

She wants it done to 'look cool like her Dad', as no fully mature personality said EVER.

My 6 yo DD is currently copying my hairstyle (such as it is) and wanting matching clothing to me. I'm pretty sure she won't be doing that when she 8 yo, let alone 18.

But if your DH wants a mini me then yeah, go right ahead, personally I'm finding it cringy and can't wait for the phase to end.

Dd has been asking since she was 3. I gave in when she was 6, just finished year 1. I showed her plenty of you tube videos of young girls crying getting them done and it didn't put her off. I finally decided it was her choice. Went to a piercing place (not Claire's). She skipped in and skipped out, didn't even finch when she got them done. No regrets. She could take them in and out by the beginning of year 2 herself. It was the right thing for her despite me trying to make her wait til she's 12.

I had my ears done when I was a couple of days old by a nurse in the maternity ward . It's great, at least those piercings never close now and they're still positioned correctly and obviously my ears have grown a bit since I was 5 pounds.

I never even realised it's an issue to some people until I read about it on here, but obviously it's mostly cultural.

Hope she likes her new piercings and that they heal quickly if you go ahead with it.

Also, whilst I had my ears pierced at 12, I hardly ever wear earrings, literally 2/3 times a year.

I agreed when DD got braces she would be able to get her ears pierced. She got both, at 12, same day. Seemed fair.

I said no until my daughter was 15. She got them pierced and then 2 months later decided she hated having her ears pierced. She's now almost 18 and hasn't worn earrings since.

morphene whereas I got one of my countless at 18. Just a normal lobe piercing. Took earrings out about 28 and the hole has totally healed. You can't even see there's been a piercing

What's the beef with Claire's? Thought everyone got there kids ears pierced there?
I'm thinking of letting my dd have hers done in the summer holidays.
Would like to know more about my options if anyone can help?

I have found Claires great.

Super hygienic, attention to detail Couldn't fault it.

I've never heard a bad word about then in RL

I told dd she would have to wait with making any potentially permanent change to her body until she was 15.

Reason being that I know at least 2 people (one of them her dad) whose scars are still very visible 30 years after they stopped wearing rings.

Also that my dn developed allergies after having hers pierced.

So while I don't disapprove of ear piercings as such, I am very aware that the results don't necessarily go away once you take the earrings out.