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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pick your team...

40 replies

WoofWoofMooWoof · 19/06/2017 11:29

Scenario - teacher picks two 'team captains' - always (never heard of or experienced any exceptions) the 'popular' kids. They obviously pick the other popular kids for their teams first, and we all know what happens next.

I was always the last one picked, and then I was only picked because there was nobody else left to pick. I know this is also going to happen to DD1, as she has mild autism, isn't very athletic and has social difficulties.

AIBU to think teachers should just pick the teams, or divide the class in half, or perhaps, just for a change, ask the less popular kids to pick the teams? It's so damaging for a kids to always be the 'outsider' Sad.

OP posts:
araiwa · 19/06/2017 11:36

I never picked the popular kids.

I picked the good kids so we would win

threesocksmorgan · 19/06/2017 11:39

oh god the misery comes back
I still remember being the last to be picked in games. awful that it still happens

Montsti · 19/06/2017 11:53

I agree with you...the teachers should pick the teams and do a spread of abilities/friendships etc...

It's heartbreaking watching this and seeing the ones left...

Nikephorus · 19/06/2017 11:56

Yep, I was always in the last two. Not because I was necessarily any worse than anyone else but because I was on the edge all the time (undiagnosed Asperger's). Having the teacher pick the teams would have been so much less confidence-destroying.

Original poster
WoofWoofMooWoof · 19/06/2017 12:02

I never picked the popular kids.

I picked the good kids so we would win

Ummm, yes - they are the popular kids because they're good, and the team captains pick them because they're friends with the other 'good' popular kids. I'm talking about giving the 'not so good' kids a chance as well, instead of destroying their confidence on a daily basis.

OP posts:
Maudlinmaud · 19/06/2017 12:10

My best friend never picked me, she was great at sport and dancing was my thing.
I used to stand waving and shouting "pick me, me! PICK ME!" It didn't really hurt me just embarrassed me and made me realise I was pathetic at sports Grin
When I need to divide kids into teams I give them numbers and put the odds into one team and the evens into the other.

RortyCrankle · 19/06/2017 12:11

You've just taken me back 60 years. I was the shortest, least sporty child in class and always last to be picked. You could virtually hear the internal groan of the team unfortunate enough to get me. Teachers should pick a range of abilities for each team.

Original poster
WoofWoofMooWoof · 19/06/2017 12:25

Rorty - I know! When it comes to the last one, the captain sort of looks a bit panicky, then annoyed, then resigned, and with a huge sigh, picks you as if doing you a big favour, when you don't even want to be in the team, because you know they don't want you there. Then they just ignore you and won't let you join in anyway Sad.

OP posts:
Boulshired · 19/06/2017 12:29

I was lucky that I was never last but close to that end, I even remember the collective groan when the last one was forced (cannot even call it picked as choice was gone) into the team. My DCs school no longer do this.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 19/06/2017 12:36

Does this still happen? It didn't at the school I used to teach in. My son has just started secondary and he says the teacher sorts them out.

(another one who was last to be picked as I was a complete liability on any team due to sporting incompetence).

TheDropBear · 19/06/2017 12:40

I thought most schools didn't pick teams anymore?
I only left school 6 years ago and mine never did.

soapboxqueen · 19/06/2017 12:44

Never allowed children to pick teams. Never seen a colleague do it either. I might pick team captains (randomly) mainly so the children know who to stand behind or I just number children.

Syc4moreTrees · 19/06/2017 12:44

I think in the grand scheme of things this is probably a lessor crime at schools if it still goes on this way. Lots of posters here were picked last and don't seem to have suffered any lasting damage. Just encourage your kids in the avenues they do excel at.

I was super sporty at school but my oldest is a disaster zone with no interest. It's a very minor part of school though so i wouldn't give it too much thought

AlexanderHamilton · 19/06/2017 12:48

Yes, I think the teacher should pick the teams so that they can not only be more even but kids who don't work well together can be split up.

Ds is definately in the not popular category & he's autistic but at least during the winter season he doesn't get subjected to this as he happens to be not too bad at a very specific position in hockey.

Boulshired · 19/06/2017 12:48

It is only minor if it is the one bad thing if it is added to other areas it is the extra confirmation of how shit you are. Probably why schools seem to have stopped it.

AlexanderHamilton · 19/06/2017 12:51

I agree boulshired. Add it to never being invited to a party or round to anyone's house, never having someone to sit next to at lunchtime or partnered up with for a science experiment & it can be the last straw for some kids.

BangkokBlues · 19/06/2017 12:53

Ugh I thought getting team captains to pick teams had gone for good from school.

The anxious wait... will I be picked, won't I be picked... ugh

Much better for the teacher to go A B A B A B etc or this half and this half.

seaweedhead · 19/06/2017 12:58

I used to hate this. I was always last and my best friend was always 2nd to last.
I knew I wasn't good at sport but with my self esteem taking a battering like this every week I was never going to improve. PE teachers didn't care though, they were only interested in the most able and the rest of us were neglected.

ExplodedCloud · 19/06/2017 13:04

Yes I remember that. Horrible feeling of humiliation.
Dd has autism and rarely gets picked to be in group work or partner tasks. She's very clever so it's social problems. :(

cromwell44 · 19/06/2017 13:48

I thought I'd check with my teenage kids whether this still goes on and they say it's still widely done by secondary school PE teachers. The reason, 'they only care about people who are good at PE and not how people feel about being picked last'.

At least it doesn't seem to happen at primary school anymore.

stoplickingthetelly · 19/06/2017 13:53

Gosh, didn't think this still happened. Pretty sure our head of PE wouldn't allow this.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 19/06/2017 16:27

If I was in charge of secondary school PE (not likely!) I'd organise groups by ability. That way everyone is happy - sporty kids are in a group with other sporty kids so they can get on and be sporty together, and the inept like me are in a group together so can do their best without feeling like they are getting in the way or letting anybody down.

jelliebelly · 19/06/2017 16:58

I agree Endo but then you're in trouble for having an A team

AlexanderHamilton · 19/06/2017 17:05

Ds's school set for both games & PE. I see no issue with that as it means everyone can work at an appropriate standard.

dudsville · 19/06/2017 17:05

The memories! Having to do sporty stuff because the people in power thought it would be for my own good. The resignation as I waited to hear my name called at the end. Those mini triatholon sort of days where suddenly I was made to compete in a range of sports to show just how global or generalised was my absence of skill. As I hadn't yet found my academic high I was just shown up to be a loser. Your idea OP is a great one. Won't take away the pain of knowing one's place in the pecking order though sadly.

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