AIBU to regret being charitable?

[Sadderbutwisergirl]

First time poster here! Honestly assumed my first AIBU would be about my MIL...

One of my best friends is pregnant with her first DD. My own (first and last!) DD is approaching 2.

Neither she nor her DH have full time jobs, so when she begged for as many hand-me-downs as I could muster I of course wanted to help out.

She has received a few baby grows already, all pastel pink. Both of us hate that gender stuff and I promised her a veritable rainbow.

I packed 3 old nappy boxes of clothes, including some designery stuff bought for my DS in wrong sizes that have never been worn. One hoodie from my MIL still has tages and was £25. Again, my BF and I would balk at that. There are quite a few similar pieces with similar prices among the piles of supermarket sleepsuits. Before she got pregnant, I was hoping to sell them on ebay with a fiver or so off as I only work part time myself.

I offered her the boxes at a tenner each because of all the unworn stuff.

After I left them with her she's sorted through it all and said she'll take ONE box. She's discarded nearly everything but for the unworn posh stuff. She's got circa £100 of unworn clothes for a tenner. I don't think I'd have minded of she'd just taken everything for £30.

AIBU to feel put out? She said she was desperate for anything I could spare...

Yeah, thats a bit too cheeky.

If she was the desperate she would have taken it all- I'd be pissed off too

tell her you've changed your mind and you want it all back.

Right - now that's sorted - tell us about your Mil

I can see it both ways tbh... She obviously wanted to maximise her tenner and get the most/best bits. Maybe she couldn't afford £30 in all? From your pov, I can see why you feel a bit put out. Maybe a lesson learned for next time - price things up how you'd be happy to sell and be clear about what comes in what pack. You've helped your mate out, so feel good about that

Shes being cheeky. But you're also mad if you think you would have got the price you wanted on ebay.

I wouldn't pay a tenner for a box of second hand baby grows / vests etc, when I had dd I had bags and bags of them given to me by friends and I in turn give stuff away. The resale value of baby stuff is so low (with the very odd exception) it's hardly worth doing. I can see why she did what she did. If the boxes were set you needed to have explained that to her at the time.

I agree with lemon about seeing it from her point.
If I'm given things. I'll take them and use them. If I'm buying second hand stuff it really has to be worth it for me to part with my money.
But I would never beg and pretend I was desperate for stuff. I would probably ask " are you selling or giving anything away?
Then ask for t's&c's around what you selling.
Just put in down to experience. Next time be clear it's a package deal.
Because you never specified she hasn't really done anything wrong.
But I do understand that now your probably stuck with a load of stuff that you be able to get the price you wanted for them because all the good stuff is gone.

A tenner for a box of clothes. Crikey. Round here you'd be lucky to get £2 a box. I'm surprised you didn't just give them to her. It's hardly charity if you expected £30.

I also think that a tenner a box for second hand clothes was a bit steep.

If she's really your BF, I think you're tight to want to charge her £30 for mainly used supermarket stuff.

She's picked the best bits to sell herself. Happens over and over on here.

She begged for clothes.

YWBU to charge her for clothes that she had begged you for. You have to be desperate to beg.

It would never have occurred to me to sell baby clothes to friends. Or baby equipment for that matter.

I wouldn't call passing on clothes to your best friend charitable. It's a gift,except you then charged her for them. Either give her stuff you are happy to give away, or don't. Nobody made you hand over unworn top quality clothes.

You weren't being charitable! I really doubt you could have sold them elsewhere for £30.

I just passed stuff onto friends, even brand new stuff. You say you were charitable but actually you were trying to make money.

My friends and I all pass round baby clothes to each other, I have never charged or been charged for them. I think she probably assumed they'd be gifts. I do sell some stuff on EBay but the rest I just give away. £30 is massively expensive for a load of hand me downs.

I don't see you as being charitable as you charged her for the stuff. Do you think she was taken aback that you wanted £30 for 2nd hand stuff. She took the best stuff, I don't blame her -and gave you back the crap-.

You sold them, if you didn't like the selection she chose for the price you should have said at the time. Don't let it spoil a friendship.

I have to agree I e given designer clothes to sil I would never charge her stuff included uggs,converse brand new boots never worn. I wouldn't pay 30quid for boxes of used supermarket clothes.

you shouldn't have left the boxes with her....

She didn't want freebies, ironically, precisely BECAUSE she doesn't want to be seen as a beggar.

As for pricing, I'm new at this so no doubt did get that wrong. No doubt I've been too influenced by our local buy-and-sell group (my DH is Forces and we're stationed in a particularly affluent town where the licals have more money than sense. £10 a box is considerer cheap here...)

My goodness, I clothed and equipped both my kids for pretty much nothing when they were babies and then passed on their outgrown stuff to friends. I can't believe you are charging her. That's tight as.

I think you were BU to expect your friend to pay for items that had been given to you. Would have been better to give some stuff to her, then sell the rest elsewhere