Tinder etc

[Newbieonlinedater]

My husband died four years ago and I feel ready to look for a new relationship. I had a couple of short term relationships that weren't right for me in the early days that put me off for a long time.

Thing is, I haven't got a clue how to start and know I need to be very careful and clued up to sift through the time wasters, cheats etc and try to find a genuine man. Tinder seems to be most popular but I'm not sure what I'd put in a profile or what type of photos etc to use. Are there any other good sites to use? Would I mention my two children in my profile? What about the fact my husband died - would this attract gold diggers after the life insurance lol? Would other people I know on Facebook find me on the online dating websites?

What are the red flags to look for if I get as far as messaging men via online dating?

Tonnes of questions I know but I'm a complete novice.

How long do people chat for before agreeing to meet up?

I think you need to keep your public profile fairly private only when you click with someone and you have sussed them out should you consider telling them you have children and even then no details.

Men can be proactively looking for single mums with children if they are sexual predators. Don't give them the opportunity.

I met my other half on tinder and he is my soul mate.

Good luck be careful.

My Facebook is set to friends only but yes, I hadn't thought about the occasional man who is actively trying to get access to children. Thank you for reminding me. So you'd not mention children until you got to know more about someone?

There is a post in relationships about dating and has lots of tips and safety guidance. Have a look at it. I initially used Tinder but got fed up with the distance but as it was never accurate. I then went on POF and have met a few very nice men.

Hello, do you know which thread it is please? Sounds ideal.

Tinder is a hook up site! Try plenty of fish if you want a free site and eharmony or match if you're prepared to pay. Put up accurate photos of you, be honest, you can tick the yes to kids box or rather not say. Don't put pictures up of them. Tick single or widowed in the marital status box.

If you're looking for someone serious, nice photos, nothing sexy, say you're looking for a serious relationship, list your interests. Watch out for men who don't put public photos up, they're usually married. If their profiles states they aren't looking for anything serious then they aren't. Judge people as they chat to you.

What about speed dating? Went with a friend recently and I found it a really pleasant evening with no pressure, just like minded people looking for love.

I met my soon to be husband on tinder! It is most commonly known as a hook up site but there are some very lovely men on there too. It's very easily to quickly work out who is on there for a hook up IMO

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2931210-The-Dating-Thread-118-Online-and-real-life-dating-advice

Tinder isn't a hook up site. As long as you are careful it is fine. I met some nice blokes on it but just got fed up that if someone was travelling in my distance range they would pop up.

I'm expecting to have to weed through a lot of men just after a one night stand but hopefully there'll be the odd genuine one. Any pointers on weeding out the time wasters?

Try POF,Okcupid and match is another good one I heard that tinder is just for people looking for sex. You can choose what you out on your profile and wait until you feel ready to meet up with someone. I stay well clear of men who instantly ask for my number and men who only talk about sex and nothing else that just puts me off.

Agree with Justwaiting. It's quite easy to weed out the ones you don't want on Tinder. I had quite strict rules and didn't like anyone wearing a wedding ring (!), having a photo with a load of other men drinking (you can't even tell which one he is), or another woman (yes really!). Also I didn't like any of those who hadn't written anything in their profile. If you read the profiles you can also tell a lot. And make it clear in yours that you are not looking for a ONS, etc. I've very recently met someone on there and had a couple of dates and he seems normal and not looking for just a hook up!

I meet DP ( a widower) on Tinder. He mentioned he was a widower when we got to the point of having phone conversations ( having chatted via tinder, then regular texts).

If you live rurally you may find eharmony not so good - they don't let you browse but send you matches and I ended up being sent matches for over 150 miles away despite my settings