Pictures and videos of a grave

[Shelvesoutofbooks]

Someone very close to me lost a parent about 6-7 months ago. So far they have posted videos of their funeral speech, pictures of their parent's coffin, pictures of the hole the coffin was going in to, and today videos and pictures of the grave and them and their siblings posing next to the grave. All of this was posted on snapchat, instagram, facebook and now even whatsapp story.

I personally think it's grim and just makes me cringe, yet others disagree. So AIBU in thinking this isn't normal?

Just unfriend and unfollow them if you don't want to see it.

I wouldn't class it as normal no, I lost a parent a few years ago & its not what I did, BUT that doesn't make it wrong. Grief does weird things to people & makes them act in weird ways.

I have a family member who lost an adult child, she constantly posts pictures of the shrine she has for him, of childhood pictures, of his drawings that he did when he was 8. And yes, not many people will care but for her its a way of remembering him & demonstrating that she has not forgotten & that his life was valid. I don't think its healthy, but I'm not the one who lost a child so I don't get a say.

Be kind OP, let them grieve the way they want, they are dealing with the enormity of losing a parent whilst you are not, so be kind.

It probably is normal these days (sadly) but I'd be cringing alongside you. It just smacks of "me, me, look at me, it's all about MEEEEEEEE"

Just unfollow them and stop bitching about how others choose to grieve. Especially on a huge forum like this where many members will be grieving and posting similar photos on their social media.

It wouldn't be something I would do but it's better than being so unkind as to go behind a friend's back and judge the way they choose to grieve on a public forum.

Wow. What a horrible post.

It's not what I would do personally, but grief does strange things to people. How about you ask them how they are doing instead of starting a nasty thread.

Well, I wouldn't exactly, and ut's somewhat morbis, alright, but maybe it means something to them?

When my marriage was dissolving, I actually spent a whole day sitting on my granny's grave and just thinking things over. She was long dead by then but being 'with her' did help me come to a decision. Not in any metaphysical sense at all - it was more of a imagining what she would have said kind of thing. So maybe there's something of that sort going on?

Granted, though, I didn't take, never mind publish, any 'talking to my dead gran, deciding to leave my husband' selfies.

but, morbid, ...

... I give up on this phone!

My BiL adored his gran. When she died he videoed her whole funeral and burrial - except for the bit when he was giving a eulogy. No one knows why he did it, certainly we've never sat down and watched the video. But we didn't judge him for doing it. Personally I think it helped him get through the day. Grief is a strange thing.

It's up to them how they grieve.

Personally I'd love a grave to sit at for the baby I lost but he was born before the cut off and it's like he never existed. I don't even have a still birth certificate

They probably still think of the deceased as being 'with' them, and that's their way of expressing it.

I wouldn't as I think I'd be too grief stricken, but each to their own. Loss is so hard. Everyone has to find their own way through it.

There's no right or right way to grieve. If it's helping some people get through there's I don't see the problem.

There is no normal when it comes to grief
I think you are very unreasonable to question
And very insensitive
What is it to you?

Expecting someone to grieve the way you would is arrogant. Not understanding that everyone grieves differently is very self-centred.

I think as it their family member. Its up to them to grieve how they feel is best.

If it was a stranger who had died, then thats not ok.

Is it any 'stranger' than a televised funeral for a member of royalty or MP or anyone else vaguely famous?

Let them be. When I suddenly lost my dad, I did and said all sorts of things that you would probably consider "cringe" and "grim".
It's called grief dear.
You sound very judgemental and narrow minded.
I doubt the grieving family care one jot what you think.

It's very Victorian.

Hide of you don't want to see it, it's up to the individual as to what they want to post on their FB.

I have lost both my parents and think people should be allowed to grieve in whatever way they need to.

I post pictures of flowers I leave at my mum and dads grave on special occasions because I don't get to post pictures of them alive and enjoying celebrations. I don't really give a fuck if people don't like that. They were my parents and I'll miss them in whatever way I want.

I wouldn't do this but many people grieve differently and for some it appears to be a show - the whole life for some is a show to share on social media.
That is up to them - perhaps unfollow them so you don't need to see what they share.

Who are you to tell people how to grieve?

People handle grief in different ways and I think you are being very insensitive to judge these people on how they are dealing with a loss. Just unfollow and move on.

I would unfollow if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Not unfriend.

The person in question is probably doing what they need to do to make themselves feel better and to come to terms with their parent's death.

Saying 'it's all about me me me' is a bit harsh (as a poster said earlier in the thread.)

Do them a favour and unfriend them.