Pictures and videos of a grave

[Shelvesoutofbooks]

Someone very close to me lost a parent about 6-7 months ago. So far they have posted videos of their funeral speech, pictures of their parent's coffin, pictures of the hole the coffin was going in to, and today videos and pictures of the grave and them and their siblings posing next to the grave. All of this was posted on snapchat, instagram, facebook and now even whatsapp story.

I personally think it's grim and just makes me cringe, yet others disagree. So AIBU in thinking this isn't normal?

Perfectly normal. death is normal. I know a young mum who posts pics of her kids next to a grave of their sibling. Its not morbid at all.

Also (sorry, but this has really pissed me off) saying its "all about me me me" - yeah? Who else do you suggest it is about? Aside from a possible surviving spouse, who is more affected by the death of a parent than a child, adult or not?

I'm not saying there aren't legions of people who miss my mum and dad - they were proper awesome and are mourned by many - but nobody feels that loss more than my sister and I. We are 36 and 30 and both our parents are dead. Of course it's about us. Get a fucking grip.

This is very common practice especially with Afro Caribbean families. Most of them see this as a comfort and remembering their loved ones. They believe that the body should not be forgotten.

all funerals are for those left behind as are the monuments and all else.

@sunnymorningwithbacon
Sunny - I'm so sorry that you lost your baby.
In our baby/child cemetery there are a few stones where parents can have their children's names etched (i.e. If they are not buried there). Would that help you do you think?

My children are buried in a shared grave as they were also born before the cut off. I don't visit very often as I find it too upsetting but I appreciate having it as an option.

Just unfollow them if you don't want to see it. I have photos of the flowers at my son's funeral and of his grave over the years. I don't put them on Facebook but that is just personal choice.

I don't have a problem with people who are genuinely grieving but this doesn't sound like someone who's grieving and wanting to remember the dead; it sounds like someone who wants people to think they're such a good person for everything they've done. That's a completely different thing & for me it devalues real grieving. It's the difference between me putting up a photo of my sister's gravestone on her anniversary (not that I have done) and me putting up a photo of me with a big bunch of flowers next to the gravestone to show how superior I am. One is remembering the dead, one is self-promotion. It's my opinion and just as valid as anyone else's.

I wonder why they think other people want to see this??

Unfriend them, they don't need friends like you.

At least it is their actual loss, I've experienced acquaintances posting dramatic nonsense about someone they barely knew and had no relationship with. I've also seen non family members announcing deaths, without anyone's permission.Now this really oversteps the mark, I can't put into words how inappropriate and insensitive this is. There is a time in life when you need to acknowledge that something is nothing to do with you and take a back seat.For some people this seems beyond their mental capacity and I think it's a personality flaw.Nevertheless, it disgusts me every time it occurs (I'm talking about adults).

It's probably strange to the western world but in the Far East, my family woukdndonthebsane as long as it is with dignity and reverence

Don't judge by your own cut cloth

The grieving process is unique to each grieving person. This is their journey; you're not a passenger...let them do whatever they need to do.

Unfollow or don't look, but don't judge.