Mil

[mallamloll]

Me and dp haven't spoken to mil in about 1.5 years as we went nc.

She has just messaged dp saying that she's going to see a solicitor about contact with dc. Do she have any rights to this at all.

Highly, highly unlikely so I wouldn't worry. Why did you go nc? Does/do your dc know her at all?

My child's 2.5 and mil knew the child for 1 year but maybe have went for 3 weeks without seeing her.

Mil is narcissistic and used my partners name to take out credit accounts without his knowledge. She's isn't a nice person and after 10 years we decided enough was enough.

Dc doesn't know her

Not unless she's done any of your childcare. Then I think they take that into account when she asks for access.

Was it you who went NC or was it her?

Seems strange she suddenly wants access after 1.5 years of NC

Hi , it is probably just a threat. If she was serious she would have gone and you would have received a letter. If anything like my MIL she will just be having a tantrum and wanting a reaction/ scare you into giving her her own way. X

Grandparents don't have rights. Children may have the right to see grandparents if they were a large, regular part of their upbringing and they express a want to see them.
How old is dc and how much contact did they have before you went nc? What were your reasons for going nc?

Crosspost. She's no chance then, dc won't even remember her.

I don't think she has any right to them, but she might just be trying to stir/create drama. I think your best course of action is not to reply.

She's no chance, really.

I'd text back:

"Good luck with that "

I think it's best to just ignore tbh, she wants a reaction why give her one and break your NC

Yes, she is trying to stir things up. These type of cases are also usually where the parents have separated and a resident parent is not allowing contact and also where the grandparents have had an ongoing relationship, usually in a position where they have provided care.

I would just totally ignore her and indeed block her (as she messaged).

Ignore, ignore, ignore and preferably block so she cant bother with these threats again.

Ignore.
She is trying to get a response from you.
Grandparents don't have rights unless they have been involved significantly in the child's life prior to you deciding no more contact.

No chance, block her number.

Ignore. Do not reply. She just wants a response/reaction from you.

Dp has responded to her, he's now taking his mood out on me

The only right she has is to be heard during divorce proceedings. Tell her to do one.

DP needs to sort out that shit. Taking it out on you? Eff off.

MIL might have been chatting to someone ill-informed who has told her she has a right to contact, thinking that it is a moral right enshrined in law. It isn't, and she will have great difficulty in getting a court to grant access when she has committed fraud against the family.

It's just being done to rattle your cage, and she may have a financial motive. Make no response, it's a paper tiger and will get nowhere.

If she did happen to get a court order will me and dp then have to go to court to support our side and stuff and then be dragged into a big mess.

The fraud wasn't brought to he police attention but we could easily prove it if needed to

I've heard mixed things about this. The initial legislation was supposed to be to just prevent GPs and grandchildren who had had previously very close relationships being separated by the death or divorce of their parents. However it seems to be suffering from a bit of mission creep. There are plenty of solicitors on google with webpages encouraging grandparents to spend money with them getting 'contact' where it's being denied, and there is a general family court belief that the best interests of the child are usually served by not letting bad feeling between adults get in the way of them having a wider family. This general belief tends to go with the perspective that in any battle between adults there is wrong on both sides. So good advice might be very likely this will come to nothing and is only a threat to try and force you to react, but a bit of preparation may also be a good plan.

I've seen accounts on mn from people who said a court saw through the GPs in minutes as malicious, another from someone who worked with a pannel that looked at GP applications for permission to take a case like this to court and that a large proportion of them were immediately evident as malicious, but I've also seen a couple of posters here saying that GPs have succeeded in gaining court ordered contact this way. Hopefully one of those will see this and post.

In the case it got taken further, it would be important to be clear about how contact with your inlaws would destabilise your child's primary family and her home life, as that is something that would be taken into account. Be careful what you put into writing as that can be used as evidence by them that you're as bad as they are rather than you have gone nc for good reason, and keep your own evidence of what they have put into writing that pushed you to nc.

Hopefully nothing to worry about, but you'll feel less stressed if you're prepared.

she will have great difficulty in getting a court to grant access when she has committed fraud against the family.

Good!

Cross post with nosugar, I missed that information first read.

Yea dp didn't say anything back that could be used he basically said, so this is the way you want to take it really instead of sorting things out between us like adults and we are holding all cards to our chest.

We've a lot on her but I just don't want to have to see solicitors and stuff to deal with it x

I've got that sick feeling in my stomach.

Why after all this time??

Block her number and all forms of contact. She can waste money on a consultation with a solicitor but it won't get her anywhere - likely to be a threat only. What does she want to do, nick your child's piggy bank!

I think you can relax OP. She has not had a recent and meaningful relationship with the DC and in that case I suspect she hasn't a hope in hell. Go quiet. If she persists, get the paperwork together to prove the fraud but remain quiet. If she persists tell her you will bring the fraud paperwork to any court she intends to see you in and by then she will have spent bit of money but will probably back down.