Work colleague makes up 'funny' stories for attention

[Fudgeandtoffee]

Name changed.

So in some ways she's lovely. She's empathetic, friendly, extrovert, happy.

There's only one problem.

Her conversation can be great. She's a great listener and seems to know how to show interest in others. However, when she speaks her conversation generally revolves around funny stories. It's obvious to everyone that these are either entirely made up or exaggerated.

She got drunk and fell into her sisters wedding cake. She got drunk and told her old boss she fancied him. She pretends people have said things to her 'oh mark from accounts said I was beautiful'. Some story would go unnoticed but you can clearly tell after a few weeks of knowing her these stories don't add up and are far too dramatic.

She's witty and naturally warm and funny and she could be absolutely amazing if it weren't for these stories.

I don't think she'd know what to talk about without using them. That seems to be her only form of conversation.

I actually feel a bit sorry for her as everyone is laughing to themselves when she comes out with these outlandish stories.

We still all like her and miss her when she's on annual leave but this conversational trait is horrendous and will likely mean she struggles to make lasting friends.

I know she moved up here from her hometown 4 yeas ago and I think she's quite lonely. I think her interaction with work colleagues is the only conversation she gets.

AIBU to be annoyed? And is there anything at all I can do to help her become less like this?

She was an intern before and has now been given a full time and well paid job. I'm hoping this new experience will mean she has a move exciting life and more real things to talk about!

Th examples of stories have been changed but that's the sort of stories she comes out with.

If those are the sort of stories she comes out with they aren't exactly outlandish!

Oh there's plenty of 'outlandish' examples

I'd tell Mark and let him challenge her that he didn't say that. She's going to get someone in trouble with her lies one day, I wouldn't let her away with it.

I mean, I'm not saying she's evil or a bad person.

But these 'stories' are ridiculous. I'm sure all I can do is say nothing. But I'd hate to be someone that everyone knew was lying and no one told me

She's already caused trouble.

She lies that managers helped her with work they didn't help with. She's said a manager gave her the answers to the interview she had and another made up her comoetency marks.

She keeps the managers 'anonymous' for the more serious stuff but smaller things she will say their name.

She's a beautiful looking woman. But she used to be obese. I think she never got attention from men, never had a boyfriend. Never had friends. But now she's beautiful she could easily get one. Im sure this is the route of a lot of it.

I'm sure all I can do is say nothing.

Try to top them. Play elevenerife. She might get the hint.

Let the managers know what she's saying about them. People have the right not to develop a professional reputation for being creeps or corrupt when they're not!

Ok, if she's lying about managers or colleagues that really is bad (and are outlandish, unlike previous examples :) ) . There is a risk of her destroying the reputation of others and that is a horrible thing to suffer. Is she being serious or making jokes about things like that, saying she's 'so useless they had to...' ? Just wondering as it's a very stupid thing to make up, especially in the work place!

I had a very similar baby massage instructor and I totally agree - it's infuriating! She was nice and very friendly but just waaaaaay overshot on her funny stories.

She once stormed into her sister's house and scooped SHELVES of parenting books straight into the bin because her sister was confused over the conflicting advice. (So, literally hundreds of pounds worth of books, yeah?)

And on several occasions, people stopped her / tried to break into her car / phoned the police about her because they felt she was roughly handling / abandoning / abusing a baby (in fact the vaguely human-looking doll she demonstrates on in the class).

Ugh. Drove me bonkers.

I wonder why people do it?

I guess u know for sure her stories are untrue?
My dh had a friend that used to do this. Tall tales of all night parties after hours ar the bar and strip club he owned, supermodels falling over themselves to go out with him etc. He really really wasnt the type and everyone would roll eyes and rip the piss.
Then he took a couple of them to his actual bar and strip club where he was indeed greeted enthusiastically!

Why do people do it? Because they don't feel 'good enough' or accepted as they are. They want acceptance, not attention, they just want people to like them. It's to do with poor self esteem, not a desire to deceive.

Of course a strategy like telling fibs or passing off made up stories as the truth generally backfires.

Posted tool soon, dh said it made them all wonder if all his other wild stories were in fact true.

I think that's true.

It's the acceptance they want.

Some stories are for attention but for her it's more acceptance.

state

Reminds me of the homeless man who used to claim to be a millionaire. No one was laughing when he died and everyone realised he was a multi millionaire! 😁

But no, this woman's stories are exaggerated and made up. She catches herself out anyway. Her details change when she's telling her stories.

Ooheeooha her name doesn't begin with an S does it?!!

If you like her, I would consider having a quiet word.

Someone I know lied bizarrely and unnecessarily. They went on to develop quite serious mental health issues. Turned out they had moved a lot as a child and had a sibling who had a long term illness and got a lot of attention. They felt, without really realising, that they weren't interesting and people wouldn't like them. The lying became compulsive but they didn't intend any harm. No one really said anything. I wonder if they had whether the illness problems later wouldn't have happened/ whether they'd have got help etc.

All circumstances are different but it could be some kind honest words might be worth while?

She's a beautiful looking woman. But she used to be obese. I think she never got attention from men, never had a boyfriend. Never had friends. But now she's beautiful she could easily get one.

Because fat women can't be beautiful or loved...

Fat women chanhe beautiful. That's not what that comment says.

She wasn't beautiful and obese though. She looked awful (by her own admittance).

Stop being dramatic

*can be

many of them aren't beautiful or loved, no. Not in my experience anyway.

Jmangel do you know I can't remember her name. She's Scottish I think. Used to be a nurse or midwife or HV or something....

play this song a lot

preposterous tales

Omg you can't "have a quiet word" about her exaggerated tales"
She would die from embarrassment or emigrate.
That would be very cruel, best to let her get on with it. People will (and probably do already) see through the lies.
If you do genuinely like her company, then encourage self esteem so she feels more secure maybe.
I know someone like you describe and they are indeed very funny, tummy ache laugh funny. Some vivacious people see life differently I think. Rose tinted glasses.