To think my friend was fucking rude?

[Mymoonandstarsx]

Friend asked me out for dinner. Met after work. We go to the restaurant and she wants to move tables to be near a plug socket to charge her phone.

(Backstory she's been with boyfriend six years, constantly break up and get back together and he's cheated on her multiple times)

We start eating main course with her constantly texting him and getting worked up. We order dessert.

Whilst waiting she calls him on the phone at least 3 times shouting and crying etc .., it's very embarrassing and I was just sat there staring into space for 20 minutes.

I then snapped and asked to cancel the desserts and paid and told her we were leaving. Aibu?

YANBU

Did you ask her what was the matter, why was she crying?

What an awful evening. She's obviously having a tough time, but that's no excuse for her rude behaviour: inviting you out, ignoring you and embarrassing you.

Next time she suggests getting together you'd be better off either meeting at your place or hers or just giving her the brush off.

I think the whole restaurant probably heard exactly why she was crying, since she was shouting.....

Id be very cool with her for a while.

YANBU

I've had this before. Felt like I'd wasted an evening as had only been asked out to be a distraction for her relationship 'issues' rather than enjoy time catching up with a friend.

You don't sound like a very sympathetic friend.

I've got one like this.....goes out with a guy who causes her heartbreak after heartbreak, they split up and get back together all the time and it's infuriating BUT as her friend, I'm always there to listen and support and give her a hug when she's crying.

I can see why you might be annoyed but I think you were a little bit harsh.

I agree with Ghostbyrd did you actually ask her what was wrong.

If she was just checking her phone yes that is very rude but the shouting and crying means that something was wrong surely rather than seeing it as embarrassing you could have asked if she was ok

Sounds like she might need help, that's all.

YANBU. Especially if your friend is over 15.

This type of thing is quite regular it seems and she's on off with this guy, I can imagine it's quite wearing for you hearing the latest drama from her constantly. Yanbu at all, very rude and would keep that friendship in the distance.

TBH I think if my friend was upset and crying I'd be more concerned about her than whether she was ruining my meal

I gather you would be sympathetic at first, but if this is a regular thing, which it certainly sounds as though it is, and you have been hearing this drama for the last 6 years, your patience wears very thin.

I would certainly be keeping my distance from her tbh.

I knew why and I told her he was lying to get a reaction and then turns out I was right.

I'm a very sympathetic friend, six years I've sat, listened and given advice ... she's even lived at mine during some of the breakups.

But you know what sometimes you can preach that you are the perfect friend but everyone has a breaking point.

I would have left her there shouting to herself. If really hungry moved to a table at the other side of the restaurant.

She was very rude and making a show of herself. She's trying to drag everyone into her drama because it's the only way people like that can get attention. The way to deal with them is ignore, move, carry on elsewhere. Don't be a spectator. The performance is for the spectators.

I agree mymoon, its very tiring and wearing, and the breaking point was this behaviour in the restaurant, like she wanted the drama and to draw attention to herself. She could have answered the phone in a quite spot, or told boyfriend she is out for a meal and call back later.

I wouldn't mind but it was a performance you had to PAY to sit through!

What was her reaction when you said you were leaving?

I have this with my sister. I love her to pieces but there is only so many times you can be sympathetic over the same shit.

Sounds like an attention seeking drama queen. I'd find a new friend who knew acceptable standards of behaviour in public.

In a restaurant? I wouldn't accept that sort of show down off a teenager when having a meal out. She must of known how upset she felt beforehand and could of apologised and cancelled. Tbh I used to have a friend from school years and we stayed in touch till our early thirties. After numerous meet ups and many a visits of me sitting like a spare part whilst her mobile was stuck to her ear whilst dealing with another love life drama I decided not to bother anymore. There's no question mark over if this was rude of her, this is incredibly bad mannered.

no. totally unacceptable. i think it's really rude to be on your phone when out with friends anyway and i hate it when my friends do it. i don't do it.

She must of known how upset she felt beforehand and could of apologised and cancelled

It was a last minute discision. I left work and she rang me and asked if I wanted to meet up

YANBU.

It was very selfish of her. Generally I hate it when people are constantly on their phones when they're supposed to be having coffee/a meal with you.

WTF are you supposed to be doing in the meanwhile?!