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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you shouldn't buy clothes for someone unless they're slim

31 replies

Fulani1989 · 16/06/2017 22:13

I would say clearly slim. No more than a size 12 at least.

I don't buy clothes as a present anyway but my Son's Grandmother (Dad's side) is very thoughtful and has brought me some items of clothing as presents for years.

Before I had DS I was a size 10. Got clothes in a size 10 and never thought anything of it.

Then I put on a lot of weight and after labour while in hospital she bought me a nightdress in a size 18! I still feel hirt just thinking about it.

She bought me a dressing gown and pjs in a size 16 the following year.

Now I've lost most the the weight I am being given size 14 clothes. She absolutely didn't mean anything malicious. She's lovely!

Generally though, AIBU to think you shouldn't buy clothes for someone who is overweight? I found it hurtful personally.

OP posts:
YoullNeverWeeAlone · 16/06/2017 22:14

I'm a 14. Am I too fat to be bought clothes?

honeysucklejasmine · 16/06/2017 22:16

Did you find it hurtful because she got the sizes wrong?

Blazedandconfused · 16/06/2017 22:16

My sister bought me a size 16 jumper after I'd given birth and was 3 stone heavier than usual. I was very happy to be bought a nice jumper that fitted.

PurpleDaisies · 16/06/2017 22:18

You shouldn't buy someone clothes unless you're pretty sure they'd like them and you can get the size right. I don't think slim comes into it.

CherryPeakerr · 16/06/2017 22:18

No more than a size 12 at least.

So if you're a 14 or above then you're a massive fat cow then basically?

I think what you've written is just as bad as what your sons grandmother does.

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 16/06/2017 22:18

I am fat and enjoy being bought pyjamas a , im not going to be insulted at being bought size 18 because i am a size 18 even 20 or 22 as pjs are nice loose

NavyandWhite · 16/06/2017 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HainaultViaNewburyPark · 16/06/2017 22:19

My mother likes to buy me clothes in size 14/16. I'm a size 8/10. The only time I've been bigger than this is when I was pregnant (and even then I was never bigger than a size 12). I just charity shop them. I CBA with her passive aggressive bullshit.

Asmoto · 16/06/2017 22:20

I think, as a general rule, you have to know someone very well to be able to buy clothes for them successfully - certainly well enough to know their clothing size and for this not to be a Great Unmentionable.

Accessories of the non-size specific kind are a safer 'wearable' option.

Cocopopsrule · 16/06/2017 22:22

I'm overweight. I love getting clothes. When they are the wrong size, colour, fit, I change them or pass them on. I don't feel hurt though. Why would I? If someone gets it really wrong - they are obvs not a really good judge of size or style. But it's not to hurt me. They bought me a gift. That's pretty nice and males me feel cared about.

WorraLiberty · 16/06/2017 22:23

Just tell her what size you are.

My best mate is a size 20 and I often buy her clothes and pyjamas when I'm out and about shopping.

AuditAngel · 16/06/2017 22:24

I have a friend who is a similar size to me (but a bit shorter) and she is amazing at buying me things in a style I wouldn't buy for myself. This could also be a different size to what I would buy.

In the past I bought myself something in a style she wears and it was amazing.

So yes, YABU

Cocopopsrule · 16/06/2017 22:26

makes

You can drop a hint about you would like. I hint for things I would like and I know the giver would like to give. Thus I have received - nivea body lotion, a plain white serving plate, a rolling pin, a cooking book, chocolates and biscuits, a plain glass vase. Thanks MIL if you're reading. Grin

RebelRogue · 16/06/2017 22:27

Were the clothes the wrong sizes?

Redglitter · 16/06/2017 22:27

I'm overweight ànd my mum often buys me clothes I'd she sees something reduced or knows I'll like it.

Must tell her to stop immediately

Crumbs1 · 16/06/2017 22:32

I dislike people buying me clothes not because of the size but because I like to choose my own. Very happy to hav scarves, gloves that sort of thing but generally prefer not to be given clothes. My husband bought me a coat once that is three sizes too big but I simply returned it and exchanged for a smaller one.
I wouldn't get too worked up about incorrect sizing unless malice is clearly intended.

IndianaMoleWoman · 16/06/2017 22:34

MIL buys me size 12 clothes. In the time that I have known her, I have ranged between size 16 to size 22. There is nothing malicious in it; despite being a size 12 herself, she is always on a diet and talking about how fat she is. I think she genuinely believes that we are a similar size, in a body dismorphic kind of way. She is an absolutely lovely person.

Either that or she too believes you can't buy clothes for anyone over a size 12, so just gets a 12 even though she knows it won't fit. Because everyone knows buying a size 14 person size 14 clothes is a terrible insult if you are the OP

ecuse · 16/06/2017 22:41

I'm fat and don't like being given clothes for that reason (or at least I used not to. I guess I'm more chilled out now). I must say nobody has really done it since I was a teen/early 20s.

If they got clothes that are too small, I was mortified they might ask if they fit and I'd have to admit no.
If they bought me clothes the right size I was mortified that I LOOKED that size (even though I knew I was that size, I was in denial)
If they bought me clothes too big I was UTTERLY MORTIFIED as I must have looked EVEN FATTER THAN I WAS.

For that reason, I never buy clothes for anyone else, irrespective of their size (except my sis, whose size I know, and who is slim and generally less neurotic than me!). I would hate to provoke the same thought processes in anyone else.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 16/06/2017 22:43

For our first Christmas, DH bought me a dressing gown. It was size 14-16. I pointed out that I was a size 8. Apparently it was the smallest one there!

Although I'm a small size, I still have curves and am quite picky over cut as its quiet hard to get the waist: hip ratio right, or just sitting well over the mum tum, or not having too deep a decolletage etc.

Buying clothes for someone else is often a minefield of style, size and cut.

MrsCharlieD · 16/06/2017 22:44

I hate people buying me clothes. I am plus size and prefer to try things on myself. I also hate being bought accessories as I have a very different style to all my family and friends and very few ever get it right. It's a personal thing though. Our don't think it should be a blanket rule that only slim people should be bought clothes, I would say buy people clothes who are happy and comfortable being bought clothes and don't buy clothes for people who don't like it.

khajiit13 · 16/06/2017 22:44

YABU. MIL buys me pajamas and she gets perfect size every time. I love her. I'm not slim

RubyRoseRing · 16/06/2017 22:45

So that's why nobody's bought me any clothes for years.

dnwig · 16/06/2017 22:46

When I was a size 12 a relative gave me an XXXXLarge blouse. It was so loose that the neckline came below my breasts.

I think YABU. It's getting the size right that matters, not the slimness or otherwise of the recipient!

Notcontent · 16/06/2017 22:51

I agree that it's not so much size but the fact that you should only buy clothes as a gift if you know someone really well and have that sort of relationship with that person. In my case, my mother and mother in law are both great at buying me clothes!

purplecoathanger · 16/06/2017 22:52

Personally I wouldn't want anyone buying clothes for me, size is irrelevant. What you want to wear is very personal and I'd rather try things on.

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