To invite myself to an event?

[MerryMarigold]

A friend (not close) of mine is getting married and I am doing her flowers for free, and also donating the flowers for the bride's bouquet. Another friend (closer friend of mine) is organising a bridal shower for her. I haven't been invited. I don't feel super snubbed, but I know people going who aren't doing anything for the wedding and don't know the bride that well.

I don't think the mutual friend knows what I am doing towards the wedding, but I think the bride would want me to be there. (I don't know for sure!). Anyway, I know bridal showers are very un-MN, but it will be fun, I haven't been to one for ages and I'd like to go. WIBU to ask my friend who is organising if I can come? This is so not me. I'd usually just feel hurt and snubbed and not do anything about it, but I am trying to change that and feel like it would be better for me to just ask (and accept if answer is 'no'). WWYD?

I would totally ask whoever is organising it.
Bridal showers are usually the more the merrier and if your envolved enough to be doing flowers and know the bride then yes ask.

If you feel brave enough, then yes you should ask - as long as its not costing the bride money so she's limited numbers.

No, not costing bride. Everyone will bring a dish kind of thing.

How would you feel as yiu already being generous re flowers for the wedding saying something along the lines of 'As i am doibg the wedding flowers shall I do a small table arrangement to bring when I come to the shower? Have you decided on a colour theme or shall I see what's available!?' She can hardly say no.

With your new found bravery do it then and enjoy the results.

Oops phone typos

But you say she's not a close friend so why would you be invited? I know you're doing the flowers & for free but you wouldn't normally invite the florist so I don't see that you'd should expect an invite. And I wouldn't want to have to invite myself to something...

Maybe the bride didn't invite you precisely because you are donating the flowers and she didn't want to invite you to something where the main point (apart from the fun and games) is giving presents.

The bride (who you already have said is not a close friend) may be keeping the bridal shower to close friends only. It would have been very odd if the bride had not been consulted as to the guest list.

You are doing the flowers for free, so I think it's a bit bloody rude that you've not been invited. I think for this kind of thing it's the more the merrier, although if it's like a baby shower then I doubt the bride would have had anything to do with the inviting.

Are you invited to the wedding?

I agree with Runny. Very rude of the bride not to ensure you are invited.

Why are you doing the flowers for free, OP? Did you offer? Wedding flowers cost a lot of money and she is not a close friend.

Be wary of people trying to use you.

Yes, we need the background on why you are doing the flowers for free. Did you offer or were you asked?

Why are you doing the flowers for free, when you aren't close to the bride?

X posted. Sorry

My mother's colleague did my makeup for free. She offered, which was lovely and I intended to do it myself. I don't even think she was invited to the wedding, I really don't remember. But the flowers, that's different. These cost a lot of money.

How do you know the bride?

Oh, FFS, please tell me you are in the US. Bridal showers are now making their way here? More grabby bollocks. Be glad you aren't invited. More fucking presents and tatt just because you're getting married.

Would you like some sweet with that sour expat?

I prefer G&T, Put, since you're offering. Grabby as all fuck, the bridal shower. Sad to see yet another trend like this making it across the pond. As if hen-do's abroad aren't bad enough. 'Give me MORE!'

Be glad you're not invited, OP. You'd have to stump up for yet another gift.

Normally I'd say hang back. But if you wish the bride well and are friendly with mutual friends then I think you should go.

Is it a bridal shower instead of a hen do?

And OP are you invited to the wedding?

Umm, sorry OP - if you're not invited as a guest to the wedding or the evening do, then you're a supplier here. You just happen to be a great value supplier.

If you do think bride wanted you there, call her (about something else) and (casually) ask her if she's looking forward to the bridal shower - just be careful not to sound desperate.
There may be limits on numbers & the organiser doesn't want it to spiral?

As a rule, bridal showers in the US are for close friends and family of the bride as it is a 'gift giving' occasion and one doesn't want to appear 'grabby'. So an invite would be based strictly on relationship/'closeness' to the bride rather than 'who's doing what' for the wedding. Showers are usually organized by the Maid/Matron of Honour or a very close friend, never by a family member.

If you are 'not close friends' with the bride then it's appropriate that you aren't invited. That is, unless things have changed and a shower is now a big grabby blowout. I admit that I'm in the age group where my peers are long past the 'bridal' age and our children are just starting the 'getting married' thing.

So what now to get married it's
Bridal shower - everyone lavish gifts, food and whatever else
Hen do - week away to some place abroad
Wedding - miles away from civilisation and the only place to stay has a 2 minimum night stay at a ridiculous cost

There, you forgot a wodge of cash to 'cover your plate' plus extra to pay for the happy couple's honeymoon as a gift.

If the bride has given a guest list for the shower then YABU but if not then I think it would be ok to ask discreetly.