Whatsapp.. relationship in jeopardy

[jeep36]

Hi there
Needing some quick advice before I destroy my relationship.

On whatsapp, the newish feature allows you to upload status's with photos. It also allows you to control who sees them in the privacy section.

My question is, if I excluded my bf from seeing my photo status updates, is he still able to view mine?

I cannot find anything on the internet to say so, but it seems it is the case. As it's a new feature there's little info regarding that.

Thank you

So I've never even used this function on what's app - essentially because it's like snapchat and therefore for teens - but bearing in mind status has only been around for about 3 months, then you sound incredibly immature or very young.

Genuine question: how can so much of your relationship be bound up in a new what's app function?? 😳

And why would your boyfriend communicate like that rather than just sending a what's app?

Why would people be dismissive of something like whatsapp featuring in working out whether your partner's cheating? I genuinely don't understand that. It's very similar to finding texts or Facebook messages surely. If anything aren't cheaters quite likely to use less obvious features?

Pigeon for me it's that it's such a new function on what's app that I question what their relationship is based on. Or I assume it's only been going for a few months so not serious.
TBH if the teenagers I knew behaved like this I'd tell them to get a grip. It's just not very adult to conduct what's app statuses as a way of communicating how you feel in a relationship. Is it??

By that logic pigeon if he's cheating he'll be out shagging someone and not playing games on whatsapp.

How old are you OP?

What's to stop your BF from directly sending a photo to his ex? To block you in order to send a temporary photo seems a bit far fetched but if you're both 16 I guess it's believable.

'Needing some quick advice before I destroy my relationship'

Stop conducting your relationship on social media.

I have no words.

Is this how relationships are conducted these days ?

Oh my

Given Whatsapp is fully encrypted, surely someone wanting to cheat would just message someone they wanted to contact and not muck about with statuses. The relatuonship is clearly in trouble regrardless of the technology.

I would say if your BF blocked you from seeing his status updates, he can still see yours and vice versa unless you block him.

Talk to him. If you feel you can't ask him directly then your relationship is fucked.

Thank you for your replies. Some were helpful but most were laughable.

You have had a snap shot of my life and come to the conclusion that I live my relationship on a whatsapp platform?! I was not asking for relationship advice because on the whole, it's been the happiest time of my life. Doesn't mean I won't have niggles. And for the hundredth time - I do not want to go into too much detail. My past is what makes me anxious and I'll leave it at that.

The snidey comments about being immature is irrelevant to what I asked. And to those making such remarks, the irony is shocking. Seeing as you are trying to belittle me. Childish behaviour in my opinion. But hey, you have the perfect relationships.

I managed to resolve it. I was in the wrong. Hence why I wanted information before speaking to him.

To those asking why he would not just send direct photos- he doesn't seem to be the sleepy type. My worry was that he was trying to subtly draw attention to someone.

We've been together over a year and I'm a grown woman with children and a good career. We do not use whatsapp as a way to conduct our relationship. It's another way of communicating.. seriously 😫

• sleepy

To those asking why he would not just send direct photos- he doesn't seem to be the sleepy type. My worry was that he was trying to subtly draw attention to someone.

Do you trust him?

If he's blocked you op you won't be able to see his main photo it will just show his name.

I'm on what's app constantly but what is a status update?

I think people are giving you a hard time, as you see it, I think they are being perfectly reasonable to question your relationship due to the title of your thread. You sound overly dramatic, and worryingly don't seem to see how ridiculous it sounds that you would 'destroy' your relationship over you suspecting he is trying to attract his exs attention via whatsapp picture updates. Only teenagers worry and obsess so much over such trivialities, my teenage BILs are like you they are 14 and 15. If you are this paranoid there are much deeper issues in your relationship than possible whatsapp peacocking.

Don't you see that I retreated to a forum to actually stop myself acting out like a crazy woman?!

I was in a very long term abusive relationship

He is the first guy who has ever treated me right

I suffer with anxiety (on meds) so I know it's mainly in my head

I used a forum to ensure I didn't ruin the relationship by going in all guns blazing without facts

He is approachable and I've no doubt he would have talked me through it. However I don't want burden him with my anxiety.

Do I trust him? More than I've ever trusted anyone. But I'll never trust anyone 100 percent

Oh come ON people. OP was clearly asking a technical question because she needs to know how the platform works in order to determine whether ^something else" is happening.. It's doesn't take much, reading between the lines, to figure out that she suspected her partner was cheating on her and that the way the app worked was important in determining whether this was a crazy idea or justified.

There's no maturity difference between cheating on snapchat or whatsapp and cheating on text. If a woman came on here and wanted to resolve a technical issue about texting, I am sure there wouldn't be the same accusations of immaturity.

They want your blood and soul before they help you with your original question. You would think if they weren't tech savvy they wouldn't reply they are not trying to help you they are being immature. Its easier to behave like an arse behind the computer but I bet they wouldn't say it to your face.

Thank you to the last few posters!! It's exactly that

Status update is on a separate tab to chat. The photo bit is relatively new, used to be only text. It works a bit like FB I guess but it's only there for a day. No-one I know uses it.