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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dads not allowed to register children with GP?

58 replies

CherriesInTheSnow · 14/06/2017 17:42

Hi, posting here partly for traffic, partly because I'm unsure where else to post and mainly because a Google search has yielded no useful information.

I work full time, OH is a SAHP to our 21 month old girl. Today he gathered all of the necessary documents and took her to register at out local GP in the area we have recently moved to.

They have a system where you can only bring in registration forms for a few hours in the afternoon, fair enough. However when he got there, the receptionist informed him that "although it sounds unfair", only the mother can register the child at the GP and this is the case everywhere?

Is this true? It seems very silly and sexist to me, OH has his name on the birth certificate which he took with him along with his own I.D to cross reference with the name on the bit certificate. I can't understand why he is less able to do this fairly straightforward task on his own, just because he is the male parent?

It is problematic for me as well as I have used up nearly all of my leave, the rest has been booked for the rest of the time before my maternity leave for DC2 starts in October. I also am on consultancy care so I already have a lot of extra appointments and soon scans to take time off for, so am feeling a bit resentful towards this.

I guess the AIBU bit, if I need one, is AIBU to think this lady is fibbing or is it genuine law that only mothers can register children for medical care. Thanks :)

OP posts:
GlitterGlue · 14/06/2017 17:44

She's talking out of her backside. What on earth do they do if a child doesn't have a mother?

Call and ask to speak to the practice manager.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 14/06/2017 17:45

Never heard of this and find it hard to believe that it's a common rule, and certainly not a law. What if the mother is dead/in hospital/run away with the postman/ whatever? If I were your dh I'd ask for a copy of the written policy and/or write to the surgery for clarification

pollyhampton · 14/06/2017 17:45

Dh registered our kids, she is talking nonsense!

kali110 · 14/06/2017 17:46

Id complainShock

BlackeyedSusan · 14/06/2017 17:46

offs.

second dh calling the practice manager.

booloobalooloo · 14/06/2017 17:47

My hubby has registered my lo at both Drs Weve used. She's an idiot.

justahusband · 14/06/2017 17:47

Ridiculous. If this happened to me I wouldn't have left until I was able to speak to someone that was able to actually sort it.

ExplodingCarrots · 14/06/2017 17:48

DP registered our little girl so that's a load of rubbish!

themindwonders · 14/06/2017 17:48

It's nonsense. If you child was born before 2000 (and obviously at 21 months wasn't) and u were unmarried the new yes she have true. But seeing as it 2017 and he on birth certificate she talking crap

ScarlettFreestone · 14/06/2017 17:48

Call the Practice Manager and ask about this. I can see no reason that this should be the case.

LedaP · 14/06/2017 17:48

Dh registered ds at ours.

She is talking shit and needs to be pulled for her sexist attitude.

corythatwas · 14/06/2017 17:49

Absolute nonsense. I would pursue this along the lines suggested by NeedMoreSleep. A surgery should not be allowed to get away with sexist and discriminatory policies- if it is indeed a policy and not something made up by receptionist on a whim.

ArchieStar · 14/06/2017 17:50

My BIL had a similar situation with their DS. Mum was stuck in hospital with other child and DS had a doctors appointment. They had to ring mum and confirm he was dad and allowed to be there Hmm some surgeries are so bloody backwards.

SteppingOnToes · 14/06/2017 17:50

I wonder what she would have said if he replied 'she died in childbirth' - she's talking nonsense...

RandomChocolate8 · 14/06/2017 17:50

Nonsense. DS's dad registered him recently. No issues at all

Ginmakesitallok · 14/06/2017 17:51

The person registering needs to have pr, can be mum or dad or guardian.

CherriesInTheSnow · 14/06/2017 17:51

Thank you very much :) I thought it was ridiculous! But DD is my first and I honestly can't even rememb registering her the first time as she was about 4 days old.

I have shown OH your responses and he will phone them in the morning to say he has clarified that this information is not correct and that he will be coming in as "the mother" is not available ;)

I honestly think she just didn't fancy going through the registration process!

OP posts:
MissMooMoo · 14/06/2017 17:51

I had my first dc 3 weeks ago and have yet to register him but the HV told me the same thing
"Mum must register baby at HER surgery and only mum can do it" which I found a bit Hmm

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell · 14/06/2017 17:51

Another one saying bollocks... The GP receptionist did ask for the names and DOBs of both parents to link files and for contact details, but certainly no restrictions on which parent could register. DH registered DC1 as I'd had an EMCS, and we needed a prescription for the baby urgently.

StealthPolarBear · 14/06/2017 17:55

Ridiculous

CherriesInTheSnow · 14/06/2017 17:55

Archie that is awful! Very offensive to fathers. My OH is way too laid back, I guess he also assumed she wouldn't say something so stupid for our reason Hmm

I do feel like complaining actually, I have spoken to the surgery on the phone once before and they were similarly unhelpful.

OP posts:
JumpingJellybeanz · 14/06/2017 17:55

If they still refuse tell them your solicitor has said that they'll need that in writing.

kaytee87 · 14/06/2017 17:57

Total nonsense and I'd complain.

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell · 14/06/2017 17:58

TBH, if they're that unhelpful and given your DP is the SAHP and is likely to be the one taking your DC to appts, I'd be looking round for a new doctor for the whole family.

Fluffyears · 14/06/2017 18:01

Back in the stupid days before 2002 unmarried fathers even with name on birth certificate were not allowed parental responsibility unless they went to court and got some form filed. However that changed as it was a stupid rule. It leaves my brother with PR for one child and not for another (too lazy to get PR sorted). For his first child he cannot sign medical consent forms or see her school reports etc

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