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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dads not allowed to register children with GP?

58 replies

CherriesInTheSnow · 14/06/2017 17:42

Hi, posting here partly for traffic, partly because I'm unsure where else to post and mainly because a Google search has yielded no useful information.

I work full time, OH is a SAHP to our 21 month old girl. Today he gathered all of the necessary documents and took her to register at out local GP in the area we have recently moved to.

They have a system where you can only bring in registration forms for a few hours in the afternoon, fair enough. However when he got there, the receptionist informed him that "although it sounds unfair", only the mother can register the child at the GP and this is the case everywhere?

Is this true? It seems very silly and sexist to me, OH has his name on the birth certificate which he took with him along with his own I.D to cross reference with the name on the bit certificate. I can't understand why he is less able to do this fairly straightforward task on his own, just because he is the male parent?

It is problematic for me as well as I have used up nearly all of my leave, the rest has been booked for the rest of the time before my maternity leave for DC2 starts in October. I also am on consultancy care so I already have a lot of extra appointments and soon scans to take time off for, so am feeling a bit resentful towards this.

I guess the AIBU bit, if I need one, is AIBU to think this lady is fibbing or is it genuine law that only mothers can register children for medical care. Thanks :)

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 14/06/2017 18:01

Sorry before 2000

Cuppaoftea · 14/06/2017 18:02

You say OH rather than DH so if unmarried I can understand them wanting to be more careful and cross check everything.

Are you already registered with the new GP? If so why don't you phone in advance of him going again to confirm you want her registered there with you.

Original poster
CherriesInTheSnow · 14/06/2017 18:04

Thanks ladies - Jeffrey sorry, do you know if it's possible to register at a GP outside of your local catchment area?

OP posts:
ArchieStar · 14/06/2017 18:06

@CherriesInTheSnow definitely complain they need their policies updating!!!

Both BIL and SIL went mad at the surgery, other DC was close to children's intensive care and SIL was rang as a "precaution" I think her words were along the lines of "are you fucking serious? I have one child poorly in hospital and another requiring an urgent doctors appointment and you're telling me you have to check my partner is allowed to be there? GET A FUCKING GRIP." Which is an entertaining story now, stressful at the time. It's annoying as if grandparents take kids no one bats an eyelid.

Justanothernameonthepage · 14/06/2017 18:07

Nonsense. As others have pointed out, what about widowers, single father's or Gay parents. Definitely write and bring to the attention of the practice manager. They obviously need to improve their training (or at least read the riot act to their receptionist)

Original poster
CherriesInTheSnow · 14/06/2017 18:08

Cuppa I do understand the need to cross check, but OH (or DFiance?) did bring our daughters birth certificate and his own ID. If it was verifying he was who he said he was then that's perfectly understandable, it was more the fact that even with that established she claimed it was mothers only.

In fact DD ha's OH's last name which is very unique so readily evident she is his. Very odd lady!

OP posts:
Lexilooo · 14/06/2017 18:10

They are potentially breaking the law by refusing to register a baby accompanied by her father.

They are denying access to a service and giving less favourable treatment on the basis of sex that is discrimination and illegal.

I would complain formally.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 14/06/2017 18:10

Bullshit. My ex (never married) managed to register our son at his GP without even letting me know (I have residence) and the first I knew was when my GP said he wasn't registered there anymore.

Definitely complain as the staff there need to be corrected on this.

kel1234 · 14/06/2017 18:11

I've never heard such nonsense in my life. My dh registered our little boy when we moved, as I was feeling quite under the weather, full of cold at the time.

hellobonjour · 14/06/2017 18:11

Are you married? I ask because a father, if not married to the mother, has no real say when it comes to vaccinations etc. I'm pretty sure I read this somewhere because when my first DC was born DH and I weren't married and we had a laugh about how he couldn't doo much. Maybe that's it?

SheepyFun · 14/06/2017 18:12

This can't possibly be the case - a (male) family member's female partner was sectioned after extensive domestic violence and a non-,molestation order. She was therefore unable to take their children to the doctor's, register them there or care for them in any other way. Another (male) friend's wife died when their DD was 2. I can only imagine how either would respond if told that the child's mother needed to register their children/provide confirmation....

Cuppaoftea · 14/06/2017 18:14

Cherries It's more about whether she's already registered at a different practice with you.

If you aren't already registered with the new GP you could fill in your form, phone in advance and then your OH should be able to register all of you.

eggsandwich · 14/06/2017 18:15

My Dh has said what if the child is of same sex parents (both male) how do they get around that?

Delilah21D00LoT · 14/06/2017 18:18

That is COBBLERS! Call and speak to the Practice Manager!
Good grief, can you imagine what she tells Foster and Adoptive Parents.

kaytee87 · 14/06/2017 18:21

hello I think that's only the case if they're not on the birth certificate.

Delilah21D00LoT · 14/06/2017 18:23

Oh I also meant to say OP that I don't think the Receptionist is fibbing, but I think she might be new and has maybe misunderstood something. Definitely call and speak to the Practice Manager though and ask them to clarify registration process.

underthestarrysky · 14/06/2017 18:24

complain!!!

villainousbroodmare · 14/06/2017 18:24

That's appalling. DH registered DS at our GP with no issues.

Kintan · 14/06/2017 18:24

Nope not true! My husband registered our son when he was a few days old. What a strange rule at your GPs - I'd suggest querying it with the practice manager.

puglady · 14/06/2017 18:29

Rubbish (I work in a Gp surgery)

As long as one parent is registered at the practice either parent can fill in, sign and hand in the forms.

We need to be able to link a child with at least one parent on the system.

Definitely take it up with the practice manager

SenseiWoo · 14/06/2017 18:35

Well, it is awful but I am not surprised. My DH is the at-home parent and the continual sexism and questioning he has experienced from healthcare providers is very depressing and annoying. And my mother had to help a Polish neighbour with little English after her English-speaking husband was told something similar when he took their child to the GP for something.

iseenodust · 14/06/2017 18:35

You can register at any surgery that will take you (some set a maximum number of patients). Each tends to have a boundary based on the practicality of visits to homes. In a city many practices will have boundaries that overlap, might be a bit harder if deep into a rural area.

nocoolnamesleft · 14/06/2017 18:38

It's bollocks. The parent registering them needs to have PR. But his name is on the birth certificate, so he does have PR, and had taken proof of that.

Offherhead · 14/06/2017 18:40

It sounds crap. The foster father of the twins on my road tends to do all the domestic admin and he went up to register them at the same time as me changing our addresses.
Obviously I didn't earwig but he handed in the necessary forms, exchanged some pleasantries/ questions and was done.
Definitely not even on the birth certificate there.

Sidge · 14/06/2017 18:42

It's not that fathers aren't allowed to register their children at a GPs, but only those with parental responsibility can do so.

The receptionist has been rather over vigilant and has misunderstood (or misinterpreted) the rules.

In England:

Mothers automatically have PR.

Fathers only have it if they are named on the birth certificate, were married to the mother at the time of the birth or have applied for and been granted PR.

From the Government website here: www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/who-has-parental-responsibility

If the parents of a child are married when the child is born, or if they’ve jointly adopted a child, both have parental responsibility.

They both keep parental responsibility if they later divorce.

Unmarried parents
An unmarried father can get parental responsibility for his child in 1 of 3 ways:

jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother (from 1 December 2003)
getting a parental responsibility agreement with the mother
getting a parental responsibility order from a court

Same sex couples are a little more complicated in terms of PR but it's all on that website.

As an HCP establishing PR can be a minefield when it comes to medical treatment, vaccinations etc.

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