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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why does no one tell you it will be this hard?

48 replies

PraiseTheSun · 14/06/2017 17:04

I'm not enjoying parenthood today Smile. DD won't settle. Nothing seems to make her happy. I've been trying to iron for three and a half hours but every time I put DD in her chair she shrieks. I've managed two shirts.
And with all this time stuck feeding I've been on Instagram where everyone is #MakingMemories #FeelingBlessed.
I feel guilty for not enjoying my baby today and wishing I was at work instead Confused

OP posts:
W1A · 14/06/2017 17:07

FIrstly, life's too short to iron.

Secondly, everyone feels like that. They just don't put it on social media much.

What would you like to do? Can you see someone tomorrow who will occupy DD for a bit? have a good dinner tonight that you'll enjoy? Plan to do something fun?

ineedamoreadultieradult · 14/06/2017 17:07

Put down the iron and go and do something fun. Also Instagram is fake no one's life is a constant stream of making memories and feeling blessed everyone feels shit sometimes.

GlitterGlue · 14/06/2017 17:08

Leave the ironing and go to the park next time?

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 17:08

Why on earth are you ironing?

My son is 3.5 years old and I don't think I've ironed since he was born Grin Grin

On days like today you should be forgetting about the ironing and get out in the sunshine Smile

Reow · 14/06/2017 17:09

You iron? Bless your heart.

I haven't ironed in about 7 years.

Bin it OP. You'll feel better Grin

SnowBallsAreHere · 14/06/2017 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PraiseTheSun · 14/06/2017 17:11

I wish I didn't have to iron but DH needs work shirts. Sad.
No one about tomorrow. Everyone has work I'm going to baby group so at least it will break up the day.

OP posts:
stargirl1701 · 14/06/2017 17:13

Does your DH own and operate a smartphone? Irons are way simpler.

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 17:13

I wish I didn't have to iron but DH needs work shirts.

Does he have no arms to enable him do this required ironing?

nostringstoholdmedown · 14/06/2017 17:14

Ignore them OP. If you need to iron then bloody iron without being made to feel bad ffs.

Also social media isn't real life. Anyone can have the perfect life on there.

Today is a blip that's it Smile

RoboticSealpup · 14/06/2017 17:15

Of course you need to do some housework sometimes except ironing because it's fucking pointless but you can't expect to do that and enjoy parenting at the same time.

Focus on your DD for a while. Go out, have a picnic or take her to a toddler class maybe? That's the enjoyable bit. Then go home and try to focus on housework whilst DD screams and makes a mess and tries to jump up on your back. That bit is never fun, no matter how much you love being a mum...

Original poster
PraiseTheSun · 14/06/2017 17:16

He does have arms and a smart phone. He also is working a 12 hour day every day. He does lots round the house as well. I like doing things for him. It's just been hard today because DD is only settling when she is laying on me

OP posts:
Reow · 14/06/2017 17:16

Has DH had his hands amputated?

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/06/2017 17:18

In theory it's a lovely thing to do for him.

PatriciaHolm · 14/06/2017 17:19

If he needs the shirts, let him iron them. I'm all for sharing household tasks and not being militant about "his" and "hers", but in this house, his his shirts = his job!

TinklyLittleLaugh · 14/06/2017 17:20

You can do 5 shirts in half an hour though. Just wait until she's asleep.

DH's shirts are the only thing that gets ironed in our house and he does his own.

RoboticSealpup · 14/06/2017 17:20

DD is only settling when she is laying on me

I've been there! It's really hard.

Notreallyarsed · 14/06/2017 17:20

Oh the # instagram thing is a load of absolute shite, it's so unrealistic it's ridiculous.

PatriciaHolm · 14/06/2017 17:20

And yes I get it's a nice thing to do, and he's out of the house for long hours- but sometimes, for your sanity, you've got to say actually this didn't happen today/this week, deal with it ;-)

haveacupoftea · 14/06/2017 17:28

There's bound to be somebody near you who will do your basket of ironing for £15. Drop the ironing off to them, take DD to feed the ducks, she'll sleep tonight and you'll have got the ironing done and have something to post to Instagram if you're so inclined.

Ellapaella · 14/06/2017 17:28

Don't feel bad for ironing your husbands shirts - my dh irons my work uniforms for me and none of his male friends tell him that because he does my ironing I must be a lazy cow who has lost the use of her arms and takes him for granted etc etc. But I guess its not a major priority, it can wait. Sometimes I think little ones can sense you want/need to be doing something else and that makes them even more clingy and hard work. Down tools and head outside for a bit? Get some fresh air and sunshine and go for a stroll together. I know exactly how you feel and I find being in the house all day with small children unbearable, they are at their worst when they don't get a change of scenery.

RB68 · 14/06/2017 17:30

I haven't ironed much for years and if DH wants shirts he generally does them although he tries to get me to do them - but it doesn't often work

ineedamoreadultieradult · 14/06/2017 17:31

OP I get you with the ironing thing I really do, I iron and can't understand how people who don't get away with it but really if it's not working it's not working. Do something nice and do the ironing when DD is asleep.

becotide · 14/06/2017 17:33

Stop ironing, and stop looking at instagram. Instagram is fake, and the #PerfectlyBlessed lives are fake too.

RB68 · 14/06/2017 17:34

He only actually needs one shirt for tomorrow. Sometimes it is fine to say sod it and go out esp if its nice. Wait till he gets back hand over baby and iron then