To feel despair at DD 14's spelling, and what should I do?

[Evelight]

DD14 is a typical straight A student since elementary- the kind of dream child who obsesses about getting her homework done, keeping her stuff organized etc etc. She's top of her class, one of the "smart kids", never gave me any worry insofar as schooling is concerned. She reads regularly- not as much as she used to, but recently she finished Jane Eyre and is half-way through Rebecca.

So why does she spell like this???? She had taken on family supper the other night and she always makes a game of it by pretending to be in a restaurant and taking orders, and this is how she spells. Why? How? How can I make it better?

The irony is I'm a part-time teacher of adults- how can I presume to correct adult essays and language when this is the spelling of my own daughter??

This is actually really bothering me!!

Uh, it's not like it's her schoolwork or anything.

Does it really matter?

What is it supposed to say?
If she is a straight A student I can only assume she spells correctly in her school work.

If she's a straight A student I really wouldn't worry about some illegible scrawlings in a light hearted game.

Bit of an over reaction tbh

She could be dyslexic. Get her an Ed psych assessment. If she is bright then she has probably developed coping strategies that mean it hadn't been flagged at school. He work on computers will be spell checked so again not flagging up the issue.

Both my dds are straight A students and both have appalling spelling. I tried all sorts, as did the school. When at uni dd1 was diagnosed as dyspraxia and dyslexic. I felt very guilty!
What does the school say?

What LEM says.

What does her spelling in a non- formal situation have to do with your ability to teach English?
Have you noticed this sort of thing in her school books? If so then get her tested for processing difficulties (e.g. Dyslexia). If not, don't worry.

But I mean why isn't it "natural" at this point for her to spell "cheese" correctly, never mind "grilled"!!

I thought it might be dyslexia- but I would be sooooo hesitant about approaching it with her. I've been talking to her about getting counselling for other family issues we're going through (separation/divorce), and she went one session and then she said it was useless and boring and she can cope very well thank you very much.

She has a lot of confidence academically and I don't want to dent that, but nor do I want her spelling"girlled chesse".
Ugh it really bothers me. I don't know why, and yes it is an overreaction, but it does.

Ever since grade 4 or 5 their assignments were mostly digitized, so I really don't see much handwriting except the odd scribble here and there.

And there are spelling mistakes, including the classic where/were their/there, but this one really rubbed me the wrong way.

Maybe it's just because she's working so hard the rest of the time.

I'm a good spelled usually but if I do a long shift at work then by the end of the day my ability to write and spell goes to pot.sane as when you talk to customers all day and you start off being all polite and bubbly but come the evening you can barely even manage a grunt

Think you need to check her work befire you make any decisions

I was a voracious reader at that age. Still couldn't spell. Still can't spell. Weirdly, I don't think the two are related at all.

This will be made worse by the fact that she can check her spelling instantly too though.

Straight 'a' student = You do not have a problem.

There is nothing to be ashamed of if she is dyslexic. My daughter is 12 and dyslexic and couldn't begin to spell those words "natuarally". i would talk to her teachers if you haven't already done so.

Does she need everyone else to be quiet when reading and writing? Does she sometimes confuse left and right? Would she see quite and quiet written down and see them as the same thing? (Yep, I just did that). I found out I was dyslexic at 22 yrs and I really wished I'd known about it sooner because there are so many coping strategys that really help. And who needs to be able to spell with auto correct? ; it's my friend, it just gets me!

Are you in the US? Wondering about the use of grilled cheese and elementary school? I know spelling is pushed in the U.K. early in primary but less so in secondary.

why in earth does your child's difficulties rub you up the wrong way?

Wow, all about you!!!!

That's a really odd thing to say, about you presuming to teach adult learners... making it all about you.

Have you spoken to her teachers? Even if homework is digitised, I expect she's writing in class.
You teach yourself, I'm sure you can come up with some way of asking her about her spelling.
I'm sure she's not going to lose all that academic confidence if you say "hey, for a great student, that's some creative spelling when you're rushed...?"
And if you establish then that it is just because she's rushed it (and is playing a game) then just leave it.

I'm super clever and spell brilliantly. When I write quickly I have a habit of skipping the first letter (cheese - heese as I'm rushing!)

My dd is similar- although her reading age was higher than others in her class her spelling is terrible. I wonder if she does have mild dyslexia but it is masked by her high IQ. It isn't such as issue at secondary school as primary but still a problem.

Are you sure it's not an age thing?

My teen text speaks in handwritten notes and messages to be but her school work is fine.

She uses the annoying chez for cheese though we don't called them grilled cheese, we call them chez tosties.

Or she may have been scribbling too fast. I sometimes scribble down things like gril instead of girl when I'm rushing through notes. I know how to spell girl but my hands don't work as fast my brain. They get confused sometimes.

If there's no problems with her grades, I'd just leave it be, tbh.

Often bright children can have coping mechanisms for dyslexia. I was another diagnosed at university after doing fairly well at school.

My assessor told me it was common for people like me to do okay, then struggle at university as the coping methods start to struggle. I also think computers have a lot to answer for (as well as being amazing!) as they correct spelling, so it doesn't get picked up as quickly.

Have you looked at Irlens syndrome/ visual stress? Does she have any of those symptoms? Can have alongside dyslexia or as separate condition.

I'm a dyslexia teacher. Ed Psych assessments cost hundreds! Firstly talk to her school. Dyslexia isn't just about spelling. Dyslexic children often find their reading is slower and they have problems scanning and holding information in their heads (working memory) - this can impact in comprehension and work rate across the board. First port of call if you are concerned is to see the school SENCo.

Have you talked to her teachers about it?

Perhaps she'd accept an evaluation better if the school signaled it?