not to let my 6.5 year old go on a school trip which involves an overnight stay?

[laughingduck]

Title says it all really. dh and I don't want him to go on the trip as he has never stayed away from home without one of us before. He is in a mixed YR1/YR2 class and the trip is a last minute cancellation that the school have got and so details have yet to be finalised. Are we just totally out of touch - is it the norm for infant school aged children to go on this kind of trip? Most people we have asked so far have said they wouldn't either but I thought I'd get the opinion of MN too (plus can't resist starting a thread in this topic ).

I was never a brownie

My children who have been/are at school are out of the house approx. 6 hours a day. I think the younger ones need to build up a secure home base before branching out. Which is one of the reasons I don't agree with them having overnight stays at 6yo. And I don't know where the assumption has come from that parents who don't let their children stay out overnight also don't let their children venture past the garden gate. Where did that connection come from? My children's confidence hasn't been destroyed by me not letting them stay out overnight. My older children are confident and had no problems staying away from home when they got older (secondary school age). I really don't see what the rush is to push children to be independent of their families so quickly.

oh-oh, someone took my comment as a criticism.

Not meant that way.

Just wanted to say that lots of kids would regard this as an exciting adventure, rather than the ordeal the parents envisage.

No Kimi, you wouldn't make a good brownie

oh and in response to
"I think the younger ones need to build up a secure home base before branching out."

Blimey if they haven't got that bit by 6, then there is a problem I suspect.

I agree with that clumsymum

and me

Mine is going on her school trip, she will be 6 and 3/4, I signed her up right away. I was astonished at all the people asking me anxiously about it (not that I know much either). Never occurred to me that she wouldn't want to go, and I was right about that I think, or that it would be harmful-I guess she'll have to tell it to her analyist in a few decades along with all my other crimes. A few classmates aren't going, I don't know all the reasons, but it has been a hot topic for the parents passing in the playground all right!

Guess I need a one-way ticket to Bad Mothers Club. Do they do overnights do you thing?

One of the mums at DD's school wouldn't let her DD go. She told her it was because they couldn't afford it. Probably because Mummy bought a porsche cayenne the month before.

I know it is hard to understand but even though it is a bit of a shame that children have less freedom nowadays, I still won't let him untill he is older he has his whole life when he is older to stay with friends and go away places

overnight

god i dont get it
ds1 or 2 woudl go banans if i banned em

The current rules of The Scout Association state that the Beaver Scouts can only spend one night away from home. (24 hours including travelling time to and fro venue)

I am a Beaver scout leader and beavers are expected to attend at least one sleepover before they swim up to cubs (aged 8)

I would have no problem letting my child go, but from experience of a beaver leader (parent used us as baby sitting service and went out on the pi** and didn't answer/hear phone)I would make sure I was contactable if they needed to get hold of me.

"he has his whole life when he is older to stay with friends and go away places"
Absolutely, Jennylee.

I meant overnight , obviously he goes to see friends and plays out etc and goes places to play with other kids , just not overnight

Also I agree with your post juule, but then I think we have a few things in common

If child wants to go - why not? Where is the harm?

Mind you on trip DS is going on they are v concerned about bunk beds and we need to sign to say OK for top bunk.

I signed with "DS would PREFER to be in top bunk"

I understnad the 'why not?' but if a parent would rather they didn't it is up to them and I would worry as my ds is high maintainance has things that mean he would need extra taking care of and so why bother putting myself through the worry and my son the prospect of any situation arsing that he might not know how to handle yet, when he is older that would be fine but it is up to the parent, and children are all different some would love to go away from home overnight but some would find it horrifying. Is fine if you children want to go and you are happy for them to but it a parents choice.

a person wanted to take my ds for me to a caravan holiday with her nephew but i did not like the idea as sometimes their nephew has been out in the dark riding a bike in the street when quite small, things like that, or they might let them do things they are not allowed to do, I let her take ds once and they did not get a drink all day and even went to the pub with the woman and ran about while the woman had a drink with a friend and so things like that when they are young I cannot be bothered with

Right, well back from school run and it seems a few mums have the same concerns as me. I agree with a lot of what has been posted here too. I think dh and I will perhaps not send him. I say perhaps as it appears that the teacher may have given out the letter to the Y1's in error so all my worrying may have been in vain. Thanks to all who have posted though, it has been helpful and if he isn't going this time it will have given me some food for thought for next year .

I would also look at it from the other side, that if all your ds friends went and he didnt he could well feel left out.

I think it should depend on how the child feels about it as much as how the parents feel, its true about them having plenty of time to do stuff in the future but its also about doing things now with their friends and doing stuff children do and not missing out on fun stuff.

it won't finsh them off to 'miss out' once in a while

finish even

I dont suppose it does

As I said it helpful to be guided by the childs feelings not just the parents, I was happy to let my children do things like this because they were happy to do it

We can't always let children do things they are happy to do though, can we? They might be quite happy to walk in front of oncoming traffic but I don't think I'd be happy to let my children do that. An extreme example, I know, but you get the gist.

umm that isnt really a a sensible comparison at all, letting them walk in front of traffic is not going to encourage there independence where as going away from home without their parents does.

Children develop at different rates, some 6 year old will be fine with being away from home, some wont. By the sound of it though its not the children who cant cope with being away from their parents its some parents who cant cope with their children being away..........