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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think, sometimes, husband's rock...?

101 replies

ChildishGambino · 12/06/2017 23:31

So, sometimes we need help and they don't help. But...sometimes they actually do. Please post the kindest thing your DH has done for you since you've had Dc's...let's put some positivity out there!

OP posts:
Pleasegodgotosleep · 12/06/2017 23:35

Mine does everyday! Most recent though...I've just had dental surgery and can't eat solid food so he made me a huge pot of my favourite soup Smile

SnowBallsAreHere · 12/06/2017 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWitTank · 12/06/2017 23:37

Bought me a horse and trundled me to events at weekends, even though its not his thing at all. He is brilliant.

nameohnameohname · 12/06/2017 23:38

I cannot begin to tell you about the great sex I've just had. That man plays my body like a double bass and he thinks he's the lucky one!

DixieFlatline · 12/06/2017 23:38

Why specifically since having DCs? Confused

Peachypie83 · 12/06/2017 23:42

Our DS was born last month 9 weeks early. He spent a month in special care and has been home just over a week now. DP has been so supportive despite my frequent crying outbursts or just plain irrationality and irritability. Mostly he is just incredibly supportive of our bfing journey. Bfing was something I really didn't want to do but as DS was too small for formula and actually turned out to be an amazing little feeder, I have persevered. DP has been my own little cheerleader, constantly telling me how proud he is whilst also letting me know that if it doesn't work out, that's OK too. I didn't expect such sensitivity from him about it and it's made me love him even more

nameohnameohname · 12/06/2017 23:46

Congratulations Preachy!

Peachypie83 · 12/06/2017 23:49

Thank you. Currently sat in the lounge with a grumpy baby whilst DP snores upstairs. I definitely feel less loving overnight Grin

ScarlettFreestone · 12/06/2017 23:49

My DH is wonderful every single day.

He's so lovely the Relationships board makes me cry at what some poor women are putting up with.

My Dad is also wonderful.

There are lots of nice men out there, we just mostly hear about the awful ones.

BillywigSting · 12/06/2017 23:55

Stuck up for me massively when mil (who has never liked anyone either of her children have dated according to dp and sil) was a total cunt on our ds's first Christmas. He was under 3mo and I was still very hormonal, mil had bought every bloody present under the sun and was generally making herself awkward, her disapproval of me clear, had no respect for me as ds's mum and left dp and I literally nothing to buy our first born on his first Christmas.
I struggled to hide my upset and suggested some of the biggest things could be kept at mils, things ds is just starting to use now he is 3 and it all ended with mil in tears calling all the names under the sun, everyone in tears and first Christmas ruined.

He really properly drew lines in the sand that the three of us were his number one priority now and he absolutely would not tolerate anyone treating the mother of his child and the woman he loves (his words) with such contempt. She didn't speak to him for months, ignored his birthday and was generally acting like nothing was her fault but dp refused to make contact until she had apologised for her appalling behaviour.

She tried it on a few times after that too but he made it abundantly clear that it wasn't going to cut it and she's reasonably well behaved now.

He also dug up the garden and landscaped it for me so we could have grass and trees and flowers instead of the swamp, complete with frogs, that we had previously.

Of course then there's the odd little things he does too like random presents, cups of coffee, finding stuff he thinks I might like etc.

He's a bit of alright really Smile

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 12/06/2017 23:56

Mine does lots of nice things (interspersed with lots of annoying ones) but today he was particularly awesome. Currently 35 weeks pregnant, hurt my wrist, and DS was awake until midnight last night and up at 5.30am. DH got in from a night shift at 7.30 this morning, took one look at me and DS and sent me back to bed. He then phoned the nursery and somehow persuaded them to take him for an extra day (he doesn't usually do Mondays and they will never usually have him extra days unless asked a long time in advance - I've still not found out how he did it!). He got him dressed, took him to nursery and came back and tidied the living room and kitchen before he got into bed. When I woke up a couple of hours later it was to a tidy, toddler-free house and a note instructing me to make a cup of tea and then go and watch Netflix. I woke him up in the afternoon as I had a hospital appointment and can't drive with wrist - he took me with no complaint despite only having had four hours sleep, picked DS up and took him to the park for two hours to properly knacker him so he's sleeping for me tonight, then went back to work.

I think I owe him at least a bacon sandwich when he gets back in the morning! I should also probably go to bed now since DS is actually asleep...

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt · 13/06/2017 00:43

I went through a bit of a rough time with anxiety and depression last year, and tried to brave it out without letting on just how bad I felt. One evening when DD was staying with my DPs and we were having a rare evening out, a song came on in the pub that made me come over all nostalgic and my emotions got the better of me and it all just boiled over. I started sobbing and couldn't stop. He's not usually good with crying - he can't handle it at all but this time he just took my hand and said gently "what can I do?"

It turns out that what I wanted was for him to notice how lousy I was feeling, acknowledge my feelings, allow me to feel what I was feeling without judgement and be there for me without trying to "fix" me. I couldn't have articulated it but in just those four words he managed to give me exactly what I needed. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude I couldn't speak.

haveacupoftea · 13/06/2017 00:55

He's been fantastic since the birth of our DS, I couldn't list everything he has done for us but the thing that always sticks in my mind is him putting my surgical stockings on for me just before my caesarian section. The intimacy of that moment, the nerves, the fear, just standing on a cliff edge about to jump off into another world together and he was there looking after me.

Picklepickle123 · 13/06/2017 01:45

He's my rock and biggest supporter. He celebrates the smallest of my victories and makes me think that I can rule the world! Despite working a stressful job, he always cooks and loves finding new recipes to try out. He does all the housework because it grosses me out. I can't imagine life without him, he makes me want to be a better person. Soppy, but true.

DeadMorose · 13/06/2017 01:59

My DH allows me to squeeze spots on his back. He doesn't like it, but lets me hurt him because he loves me. and to see the big bits I get out of him
Obviously this is not the only thing he does.
He cleans up, he cooks, he is regularly taking care of DCs when I'm going out. Every single night he makes me a cuppa and brings a snack. Regularly gives me foot rubs.
And I'm a SAHM. He works full time.

He loves my DS, even though he met him when DS was 9 yo. They go to cinema together and generally have father-son relationship.

He thinks he got lucky with me, but I know that it's me who got lucky.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 13/06/2017 02:19

We don't have DC's, so I'm going to ignore that part.

My DH is wonderful. He supported me through many years of severe anxiety where I wasn't able to work or leave the house alone. He's always worked so hard to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table while having to look after me at the same time. It must have been so hard for him, but he never let it show.

I honestly don't know where I'd be without him. He's truly amazing.

tellmewhen · 13/06/2017 02:31

No kids here either. I've got a lot going on at the moment and was a bit teary on Sunday morning. He was going to cook breakfast anyway, but bribed me with an extra egg if I smiled Smile

ChildishGambino · 13/06/2017 04:08

Ignore the DC bit...these are truly lovely

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 13/06/2017 04:23

Passed his driving test in December, didn't drink new years eve so he could pick my dd (his dsd) up from a party.

Buys me chocolate without me having to ask and getting my newspaper every morning.

Putting up with my cat obsession cheerfully. Once sent me a photo of a cat he thought I might like. (I did)

Chottie · 13/06/2017 04:30

I've loved reading all these posts, some of the threads on the Relationship boards are so sad.

Limitededitionseveninch · 13/06/2017 05:23

He's patient, caring and tolerant and he makes me laugh until my stomach hurts.

He is also very understanding of my sporn obsession.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/06/2017 05:41

I have ME/CFS and my dh did struggle for a long time to come to terms with me being always ill. Now he's so fantastic. I've been going through a particularly bad patch since Christmas. He comes home from work quite often to see carnage in the kitchen where I've managed to make tea but haven't cleared up. Tells me to sit down and clears it all up. He hoovers upstairs because it's too much (I sacked the cleaners last August and wasn't ready to have more because of their behaviour). He asks me on Sunday for ideas on what he should do with dd for the day so that I can rest and never complains about the money I spend on pain treatments and supplements.

ColdTeaandHalfaBiscuit · 13/06/2017 05:42

I would be lost without my rock DH, for many reasons deeper than everyday things which I love.
He brings me a cup of tea every morning in bed, and then the wriggly baby under one arm and bottle of milk under the other so we can all lay in bed a few more minutes. This is my favourite time of day.

Mandraki · 13/06/2017 07:24

My husband has always been kind. Before him I had a shitty shitty shitty relationship and very low self esteem. I assumed, when I met him, that the kindness was just an act and that soon enough he would start treating me bad. It's been 5 years and I've given up waiting, he is the kindest person I have ever met, never thinks of himself and genuinely lovely to be around. Just small things like pre-empting the need for a cup of tea, bringing me a Freddo home from work (they're only 4.5syns!) and downloading films he knows I'll like (after reading the reviews online to make sure they're good and don't have any scary bits in haha). I feel lucky and I still don't know how I got him. He is the best!

Mandraki · 13/06/2017 07:28

Also big things like last year when I was off work with anxiety and was generally a hot mess, he just took such good care of me, even though in his own admission he doesn't understand mental health issues that well. He read up on it and tried to understand how I was feeling, he researched methods to overcome anxiety, you can't say he isn't practical. I'm going to go upstairs right now and give him a massive cuddle!