Three day wedding too much -Aibu?

[Bloodyweddings]

I've namechanged as other posts are too outing.

The backstory: My brother is getting married in a week, midweek, and it's out of town so everyone is having to stay in rented accommodation from the Tuesday. It's not his first 'location' wedding, albeit only a few hours drive from where we stay. My primary school age kids are part of the wedding party so we have to be there. I'm also 38 weeks pregnant and not convinced the baby is going to stay put for long.

Well it turns out the day after the wedding when we're due to go home and need to get our pets from the cattery/kennels by aleatory afternoon, the couple are hosting a second party/celebration in the evening. We're already spending a fortune on this wedding and I'm terrified I'm going to go into labour in the middle of nowhere and now we're expected to stay an extra night (albeit my mum has offered to pay our accommodation). The kids are also having to take two days off school for this but we can't really negotiate a third day as they're still doing course work and school weren't particularly happy about the two days off (we won't get fined but possibly referred to truancy officer for unauthorised absence). We'd have to pay (if there's a space) for the pets to stay another night at their boardings.

Anyway to the problem: my mum has fallen out with us for saying we're not attending the second night's celebration because the kids have to go to school on the Friday and well I'm about to have a baby and am extremely uncomfortable. Apparently I'm being unreasonable and selfish because she's bought the kids outfits to wear for the second party.

I think I know the answer but just want to check, Aibu for not staying another day for the party?

Also wtf is with three day long celebrations of weddings? Why the fuck are people doing this?

Ugh midweek weddings are bad enough for saving the couple money whilst costing guests annual leave, but three bloody days?!

Do the rest of your family not work or are the all so well off that losing three days income is considered a minor inconvenience?

If she bought outfits for the children without checking with you, more fool her.

Yanbu, at all, for oh so many reasons.

Was location a typo? Is this his second marriage?

Can you ask to be induced on Tuesday?

If anything I'd go the other way and cancel the accommodation, driving home on the night on the wedding even if you drive through the night to do so. "Bloody thought she was in labour" is as good a reason as you're going to get.

have the baby right there in the aisle...that'll teach them!

No, no, no. You know you are NBU!

YANBU.

Good God OP.

YADDDNBU!!

Your family are bananas and hugely inconsiderate/self absorbed IMO.

I like the induced on Tuesday idea

Could your mother possibly have the children the extra days and you go home and get pets? Tbh it's the end of the school year almost. Their work won't be that important (and I've previously worked in a primary school)

A three day wedding is two and half days too long

What Breakfast said

And no, of course you're not being unreasonable

I'd be phoning you DB and say I've started in labour. Your DM can take the DC and you can sit at home eating
and mumsnetting of course

YADNBU! I'm so glad I'm in a wedding free time of life. I cannot believe the expectations many getting married have. A mid week wedding, over days and days and all that cost to guests. They're lucky anyone turns up at all.

Sometimes I think that I've been kidnapped by aliens and taken to a planet superficially similar to ours but where everyone is in fact quite mad. It's usually over a wedding or significant birthday invitation.

Your brother is rude and inconsiderate to expect people to do this, especially as you are in late pregnancy.

My rules for accepting invitations are:

1. Do I actually like the person? (Sometimes difficult with family.)

2. Can I afford to go without putting myself in financial difficulties? Or using up too much holiday from work? Or without taking the DC out of school?

3. Do I actually want to go to X, climb a mountain, tame a lion etc

4. Is there going to be family horror if I refuse? And if so, am I prepared to tough it out?

5. Is the invitation reasonable. Or is it a screaming piece of exhibitionism and ego mania?

I only go if I can answer yes to at least 3.

It never strikes me as a great start to married life if a couple are prepared to plan a wedding which is expensive and inconvenient for their guests.

Oh my goodness, you are not being unreasonable. Please don't stay an extra night, you need that Friday whilst your kids are at school to recover from the wedding.

Don't forget to take your notes with you, and find out where the nearest maternity unit is.

YADNBU! Don't waste more of your energy on this, even if you weren't pregnant it would be an unreasonable request, the fact that you and heavily so just makes it rude and really selfish of them. Ignore your mum, she should be angry with herself for being too presumptuous and buying outfits without consulting you first.

Yeah, I'd just go into labour couple of days before going, TBH.
Unbelievable entitled selfish expectations.
Good luck with the birth, and take care of YOURSELF!

What everyone else said, of course you're not being unreasonable. How nice of your mother to chuck some extra stress on her pregnant daughter.

no absolutely don't stay another night.

Your brother is an entitled twat and your mother is an enabling twat.

YANBU - tell them the kids CAN'T take another day off school or the authorities will get involved and you can't have that happen.

So sorry they think any of this is appropriate in your situation!

I don't think I'd be going a 3 hour drive away at 38 weeks pregnant, even if I really liked my brother!

So no, YANBU to not go to the following days. I bet most people who do go will be desperate to get home and secretly waiting for the first person to say "I best be going", and then there'll be a stampede!

Weddings are boring enough, dragging the forced fun out for days is just cruel.

YANBU. I agree with Breakfast too. We asked our guests for about 4 hours of their time for our wedding, plus travel for some of them. That was plenty. Get married, have a reception, leave. Job done. Anything else is indulgent and attention-seeking.

Induction on the Tuesday would seem like the best plan.

Of course you are not being unreasonable!

I expect the baby will start thinking about making an appearance the day after the wedding...Braxton Hicks can feel an awful lot like contractions at that stage.

To be honest, at that stage of pregnancy I'm not sure I'd want to be away from home even for one night.

Water bomb in your knickers on the morning that you want to leave. Walk into room full of family, grab crotch, waters have burst, go home.

I know, probably not that simple but it gave me a giggle picturing it.

Good luck OP, YADNBU!