To not call an auntie, "Auntie"

[Faraway33]

So my cousin who is late 30s has started referring to my mum by her 1st name rather than calling her Auntie Sarah, she's dropped the Auntie prefix and just called her Sarah.

My mum is furious and thinks it's disrespectful and rude. I personally think it's not a big deal. My mum says she's not interested in my cousin anymore and that she's too big for her boots. I think my mum needs to calm down. My cousin is otherwise kind, respectful and polite. My mum gets a bee in her bonnet with these things as she thinks she should be looked up to rather than on the same level as my cousin. Who is in the right/wrong? I think it's silly to have a family conflict over something so trivial.

My wonderful Nephew is now 24 and more like a little brother however he still calls me Auntie, though now he is older he has shortened it to AA, Auntie then initial, and my DH is usually referred to as US Uncle then initial. I like it as it acknowledges that he is now an adult but still sees me as an Auntie if that makes sense?

I don't think any of my nieces or nephews call me auntie.

I do have an aunt and uncle who demand to be called aunt x and he corrects you if you call him by his name. My view is im a grown adult and he's never been in my life closely so I'm not going to call him uncle when to me he's just a stranger I see at funerals.

So your cousin is not being unreasonable, your mum is.

I like the Aunty and Uncle titles. It isn't due to some kind of strict notion of respecting your elders or implying superiority. For some of us it's one way of signalling that the person is a close relative and special family member. I get the impression other titles of relatives used to be used more often, such as "Cousin Jane" which you wouldn't hear so much now but I remember hearing from grandparents.

I am technically an auntie to several nieces and a nephew. I have never expected them to call me an auntie. My first name is just fine.
With all respect but your Mum sounds slightly strange.

Faraway From what you have written here about your DM's behaviour I imagine it is the tip of the iceberg.
You might find further support on the Stately Homes thread helpful.

WTF. This is beyond weird.

I don't call my aunts anything to their faces but "you". (Actually, the equivalent of "thou", because I am German, and we didn't drop the informal form of address, but, you know what I mean)

Because I am a creature of habit, I still call them the equivalent of Aunt X when talking about them.

But "auntie" sounds rather childish; I can totally understand why your cousin would drop that.

And it is totally unreasonable to throw a tantrum about it. One can politely ask the niece to use a different form of address, but making this big of a drama out of it is idiotic.

Perhaps your mother's arrogance and demand to be treated as superior is exactly the reason why your cousin changed.

My dnephew stopped using the prefix Aunty and it was surprisingly hurtful. My dniece asked me if I minded when she reached the same sort of age (late teens/early mid twenties I can't quite remember). I said yes I found it hurtful, firstly to have my name changed without being asked but more that they are the only two people in the world to call me Auntie Sheldon ( )and I value the relationship it is a close and loving one and the title distinguishes me and gives me a nice, warm fussy feeling even after twenty odd years. My dniece still uses it in her thirties and my nephew has reverted now he has dc of his own.

I hate being called Auntie Lila, because I have an Aunt with the same first name and that's who I think of when I hear it. Cannot get it in to my DSis & BIL heads though. DN too little to even say my name yet so there's still time!

i still call my aunt aunt its just th way i was brought up

i would ask first if thy wouldnt mind however

"She once ripped up a card, had a tantrum and demanded a replacement because it was just printed 'Happy Christmas' on the front rather than 'Happy Christmas Mum & Dad'."

"My late MIL was most aggrieved last Christmas because I wrote her a "shite" Christmas card from a multipack instead of buying her a "special" one."

I find this sort of thing incredibly cringe-y, no way could I put up with it.

One of my aunts asked me to stop calling her Auntie to just use her first name. I find it weird and inevitably try to avoid saying either. However, I still call all my other aunts Auntie Their Name because they haven't said otherwise.

How hilarious, I would find it very odd to be called auntie by a grown up.