Feeling guilty child only does 1 club after school

[Wonders71]

Was reading a blogger on fb and she posted about all the clubs her children do and the comments section was full of how many clubs other peoples children do felt really guilty that my dc only does one....do children need to go to them.

It's boasting, pure and simple. Ignore it as long as your kids are happy.

I did no clubs until I was in secondary and could get myself home after school.

Mine do a lot of clubs but they enjoy them.. we are probably going to have to cut down as they get older

A work colleague has two boys who do football and her life sounds like an absolute nightmare. 3 training sessions a week x 2 on different nights and then matches all day Saturday. She readily admits they wont be pro so to me it seems overkill for what is a hobby.

I pray my kids get into gymnastics or swimming. At least thats inside.

Mine doesn't do any either but I know most of her friends have something on after school everyday. Don't feel guilty. You won't know if your child felt she has missed out until she grow up ;)

I'm inclined to say no because I only did an instrument and nothing else. I don't even think the instrument was time well spent.

When their kids are tired, its raining outside, middle of winter and one of them has a cold and doesn't want to go...they wont put that on their blog!
Some kids do twenty things and some one and some none. Do what suits you all.
Mine do a couple of things in school which is handy, as they just finish later, we don't like having to run about in the evenings for things everyone is tired. They do tennis on a Sat am.

Actually mine does swimming and rainbows. So it's not exactly none. But compared her to her friends with ballet, modern, gymnastics, stagecoach and whatnot, that's nothing.

Me and OH both work full time and the children are in childcare until we collect them so our evenings are hectic without activities!! We do most activities at weekends as that's the most convenient time for us, but it does mean having to search around.

DS is 7 and does beavers and swimming lessons. We tried him on a third activity that he expressed interest in, but didn't really enjoy it.

DD is 4 and will be trying rainbows and swimming as soon as she turns 5 (the joining age). We are also on the waiting list for an activity she is interested in.

I'd rather not waste time, money and effort on activities the children aren't interested in. DS hates swimming lessons, but that's non negotiable as its a life skill. Other than that, we are guided by the children's interests.

Depends on what suits your child. I've one DC who was a joiner, went to as many clubs as we could afford/logistically manage round my work hours while at primary school and one who needs quiet down time at home after school who would be exhausted if we signed her up for more than the one activity she does.

When mine were younger I could only afford swimming and rainbows/brownies. I too felt awful as lots of their friends did so many other things from such a young age e.g. dancing, gymnastics, music lessons etc
Guess what? 10 years later I'm much better off and at 12 & 16 THEY have found the things they enjoy or have a talent for and we know pay for guitar lessons for ds and dancing for dd.
What they remember about their early years is having friends round for tea, playing in the park etc both of them understand that I did my best and really appreciate the activities that I fund now. They need extra curricular stuff more as they get older, when they're young playing and crafts etc after school is more than enough, sadly ds wouldn't be wowed if I suggested he made a rocket out of a cereal box these days!!

My 7yo does swimming and dance. On waiting list for beavers. Any more and he'd have no time at home after school which he already moans about!

Mine don't do any, and they're turning out wonderfully! Dd used to do Brownies until she aged out and wasn't bothered about Guides. We don't have a car and have never had much money - those are the main reasons - but the DC are happy and both like pottering about amusing themselves after school. They are both brilliant kids so I don't feel too bad.

I was a 'joiner in'. Loved activities.

Drama, music, horse riding, art, at Kristy school.

Kept up with music into secondary (and now!) and played a lot more sport - netball (still play now) and hockey mainly but I had tennis lessons for a few years as well.

Loved it.

Oh I also did guides for a bit but it then clashed with netball so I had to stop. Tried air cadets but didn't get on with it.

Enjoy it! Mine has somehow ended up doing something every bloody day...I would usually kill to just flop (and take off my bra...) by Thursday.

We did quite a lot of activities when I was a child, but DM freely admits that she wasn't going to encourage club level swimming - she didn't want to get up at 5am several mornings a week (we did do weekly swimming lessons). I think it's OK to say some things don't work for you - I can't say I'll be encouraging club level swimming either...

IMO, children need down time, in which they have to learn how to amuse themselves too! It depends where you live, but they should be able to play out with the neighbours' children until it goes dark in the summer - to practise making their own friends, playing football, etc in an unstructured way, rather than adults organising everything for them!

My DSC do too many after school activities and are always knackered badly behaved on those days. For example on a Tuesday, which is their dad's contact day, their mum has organised for them one to do Clarinet lessons, followed by both hand gliding, followed by one rugby and then one guitar lessons. All between 15:30 and 20:30 (youngest is 5 and I feel this is too late a finish but I am only the SM). Activities and day have been changed so I don't get outed but the 'type' of activity.

I think one hobby and one musical instrument is more than enough - doing multiple activities means they're never actually going to be any good at any of them.

The bad me thinks it's also lazy parenting - palming your kids off on someone for the day so you get a few child free hours. Fair enough a couple of times a week, but every day? When actually is quality family time?

My DC really didn't like organized activities. I made therm do swimming and Cubs/Scouts, and used to take therm swimming for fun quite often, but really they just liked hanging out at home junk modelling/ playing with friends or each other. One of them told me that he had people telling him what to do all day long at school, so he didn't want any more of that after school, and his free time should be his own.
If you want your children to develop their own interests, they need time and space in which to do that.
Please don't feel guilty, it sounds as if your child had a reasonable balance with enough spare time to develop his/ her imagination.

Mine are 9 and 12 and don't currently do any.

Mine are 'joiner ins' :/ I wish they were a bit less so, atm between the 2 of them its something 4 nights a week and all weekend, i'm really hoping it wears off at some point.

I work cleaning 3.15 till 5.15 so my dc goes to grandparents mon/tue then goes to after school club wed/fri with drama from school 3.30-4.30 on thurs just seeing eveybody saying about performing in shows ect...think its just me dc could not careless.

How do they manage to fit in homework? DD (4) does one a week on a Wednesday which happens to be the day they don't get set homework as a midweek break. DS (8) does two but by the time he gets home (school finishes 4, club finishes 5, home for 6.30), we are seriously short of time for dinner, shower, bed and whatever homework he has on that day! Next year they will do clubs on friday when we have a bit more leeway.

My twins just turned 4 and they do 4 clubs.
Swimming, karate, free running and arty kids.

They're all aimed for 3-5 year olds and they absolutely love the classes, it's a chance for them to make friends and me to make friends. The free running is pretty much a giant soft play centre at this age and karate is none combat yet.

I started doing classes when my kids were little as I had severe PND and it really helped me to get out of the house instead of sit at home and stew and get lower and lower and then we just continued them.

I'd take the blog with a pinch of salt cos It is really hard work, especially the art one when they basically come out of it covered head to toe in paint 😬 (People tend not to write about the negatives of these things so they can seem better than they are)

I wouldn't feel bad about 'only' one club, when they're old enough they will tell you what clubs they want to do I am sure.
Each to their own, your kids, your rules etc.

I have one DC who would join anything and everything going and one who prefers to chill out at home. Me and DH both work FT so they both go to a couple of clubs as childcare plus swimming lessons and brownies. Swimming lessons are non negotiable but that doesn't mean that it isn't a pain to get them there and back!

We have been at both ends of the spectrum at some point over the years.
We now have training 2x during week, once at the weekend if we can make it. Brownies one night. There are also lunchtime active clubs at school although now dd only does one of those. Music tuition in school time thankfully. She wants to do another but she's already often tired, especially if they have a busy week at school.
Two free nights to fit in homework.

I cnba to run around any more than we already do.
Anyway, don't feel guilty at all. Some kids thrive doing endless things and it suit their family.
Do what suits yours.