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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate the term 'Making memories'?

144 replies

NotBigBrotherAgain · 09/06/2017 23:42

It just makes me cringe!

Someone that I know is continually hashtagging it on Facebook and Instagram. Even a walk to the local shop with her kids is #makingmemories.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Slarti · 10/06/2017 09:13

Harriet I see your Holibobs with the fam-a-lam and raise you 4 more sleeps till holibobs with the fam-a-lam (where we will be #makingmemories) Grin

Sunbeam18 · 10/06/2017 09:15

I'm found my tribe Grin

AyeAmarok · 10/06/2017 09:22

I've Googled, and I still don't understand FAMALAM. Confused

How does it mean family, close friend? Don't geddit.

Mumzypopz · 10/06/2017 09:23

I think people should stop showing off about their kids to other people and just enjoy actually spending time with them. My next door neighbour does this. Constant pics of her kids with "isn't he gorgeous" / "so blessed" / "family time" / " date night with my man" etc etc.....it gets tiresome. As others have said, we just used to have days out, or have dinner.

farangatang · 10/06/2017 09:24

It's the external, public display of something that can only really be genuine if it is a private and internalised.

Absolutely right and bloody well said! The more someone does it, the less I believe them. If they're having such a great time with their family/friends/life, they wouldn't have time (or inclination) to post because they'd be too busy actually being in the moment.

gladisgood · 10/06/2017 09:24

Ah, but not as bad as #selfie with handsome hubby on #datenight.

If they re having a nice time - great - but TMI. I don't need to know that you're having a shag date night.

I suspect most of them #go back to their phone #sit together in stony silence #don't really get on at all Grin

corythatwas · 10/06/2017 09:26

While my parents are not the kind who, if Facebook had existed in those days, would have been on there posting clichés, it is still true that I have amazing memories of days out, or holidays, that they organised and went to a good deal of trouble to organise. Those memories still help to bond me and my brothers nearly 50 years later.

Maybe there is something wrong with my memory, but I don't just remember the problems and inconveniences. I remember 6 people camping out in one rather small dinghy and waking up in the small hours, very cramped, to see a seal swimming past. I remember using our old shed for a barbecue and the flavour of half-burnt, half-raw frankfurters. I remember sitting in a ferry cabin with my younger brothers while my mother tried to hammer enough English into our heads for us to get something out of John Gielgud at the National Theatre (and I can still remember individual actors though this is over 40 years ago). I remember train journeys across Europe in the days of the old sleeper trains where you shared a cheap 6-berth compartment with total strangers, and the excitement of waking up in the middle of the night and peering out to see where you were. I remember walks in the woods in all kinds of weathers. I remember the old tin pot my mother squirrelled away money in to be able to take us travelling, and the pride on her face when she brought it out and surreptitiously showed it to us ("your dad doesn't know, it's a surprise").

Of course I don't wish she had been in other people's face about our family's memories. But do I wish she had never bothered? No, I do not. I think it was precisely her sense of excitement, her sense that the world is full of adventures that meant that we did not grow up into the kind of people who only remember inconveniences. She was (still is) a woman who could feel excited about going into town on the bus. It's a quality worth hanging onto.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 10/06/2017 09:27

aye I think it might have started in Essex. Something Smithy on Gavin and Stacey might say instead of family.

ThePurpleOneWithTheNut · 10/06/2017 09:29

At Christmas there are always threads asking about what family traditions anyone can suggest we start up. Confused

Surely a family just is what it is and evolves naturally. To consciously start something to deliberately manufacture a memory seems stilted and weird.

ArgyMargy · 10/06/2017 09:29

Cory, it's not that we don't want our children to have happy memories - hopefully we all have some great memories of family times. It's just that we don't do things for the purpose of remembering them or sharing them on Facebook. We do them because we think we'll enjoy them.

Want2beme · 10/06/2017 09:31

MrsPeelyWaly where the hell is that? How did you psych yourself up? Never, ever, ever would I do that. That's a major acheivement.

My LTR of 32 years ended just over a year ago. My DN & her DP came to stay with me 6 months after break up and I wanted to take them to a local beauty spot, but I knew it was gonna be difficult because of my memories attached to it. DN said to me, don't worry, we'll make new memories. That really touched me and spurred me on. She's not a facebooker or a hashtagger.

Can't stand - good for you, or any insincerity.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 10/06/2017 09:33

The excitement is of course grest and a part of family memories.

What is annoying is the public display of competitive Instagramed making a thing of it.

TroysMammy · 10/06/2017 09:39

My sister says she's "making memories", she says hun too but I won't get side tracked. It was because our Mother was going on hols/day out with her and her daughter. I do get it because we never went anywhere or had photos with our Grandparents so we have no memories of doing things with them because we didn't.

Riversleep · 10/06/2017 09:43

I have someone on my Facebook who does this. It's really annoying. It's not the actual making of the memories that is the problem. If they are good memories they will be remembered by those that were there at the time. It's the posting constantly on social media. I don't need to know that you are finger painting in the hope that your child will remember finger painting with their mum in 20 years. Also, it's the micro managing of memories. My earliest memory is of lying in bed with my grandma playing with her bingo wings! She died when I was very young but we must have done more exciting things together but that's my enduring memory of the poor woman Grin

balence49 · 10/06/2017 09:48

#makingmemories followed by lots of pictures, changed beyond recognition with every filter going. I have a friend that does this, makes out they have had a amazing day out. Sometimes I join them. She spends most of the time trying, and failing to have any kind of control over her brats #boyswillbeboys.... whilst ending up very stressed. No one enjoys the day. A hour later on Facebook you would think they are the waltons.

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 10/06/2017 10:10

I've got a friend on FB who is guilty of this and I can confirm that things are not so rosy in real life. I feel sorry for her but I do wish she'd stop with the fucking hashtags.

corythatwas · 10/06/2017 10:14

Argy, I should have explained that my response was to Middlingmum:

"As a parent of grown up children, I can confirm that however hard you try to "make me

But mories", they will forget most of the good things and only remember the problems, disasters and inconveniences."

Not my experience at all.

The thread moved on and it looked like I was responding to all sorts of other posters whose views I actually agree with.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 10/06/2017 10:19

As a rule of thumb, if I wouldn't say it in real life, I won't say it on fb. If someone asked you in the street what you were up to, would you say "I'm just making memories with my hubster" or would you say "I'm goin to the pub with my husband" hmmmmGrin

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 10/06/2017 10:19

Yes that's annoying, I also hate the hand emoji which used to be represent 'ok' but now is a sign for smugness.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 10/06/2017 10:23

Famalam is a new one on me. I don't get how the alam part is supposed to be an acronym for 'friends'.

Making memories gives me the wet boak. Envy

pipsqueak25 · 10/06/2017 10:26

if people are typing all this stuff on fb surely they are using up valuable life time they could be sharing with their family / kids Confused, i'd hate to be the parent who will be remembered as 'mum was always on her phone / tablet updating and ignoring everyone around her'.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 10/06/2017 10:27

You're all overthinking famalam. Its a nonsense word, you say it in a sing song style. All together now...faaaamalaaam See?
I've just gave myself wet boakEnvy

bathshebaneverdene · 10/06/2017 10:30

You don't make memories, they just happen. SIL used the phrase often when DNiece was young (3-5) about going to the theatre, theme parks etc. DNiece remembers feeding the ducks and her dad buying her a hotdog which had onions on it so she wouldn't eat it!

whyayepetal · 10/06/2017 10:38

TheNaze - #spot-on!

blackheartsgirl · 10/06/2017 10:44

It's the random holiday shit that kids remember the best. Ds most outstanding memory of a holiday we went on five years ago was him having to hold a carrier bag for his little sister to be sick in outside Chester zoo whilst I frantically drove around driving to find a bin to hurl the bag of sick in.

He remembers little else of the holiday, all fun stuff we did was trumped by sickgate.