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AIBU?

DD catfished

92 replies

NameChange3045 · 09/06/2017 23:29

Name changed for the safety of my DD. Sorry if it gets long but this isn't a troll, I promise

DD is 17 and a wheelchair user (This will come in later). Her 'best friend' of 5 years has been catfishing DD as a guy for the past two years! DD just came to me about it in tears as she recently clicked. She saw the girl midway through texting as she was coming.

The 'guy' isn't really nice. He acts as if he's a saint if he doesn't get angry for a bit if she has to get away from her phone..really he has a massive go at her for not messaging fast enough if leaving didn't suit him. Then the best friend has a go at her for 'upsetting her brother' and my DD would snap at her and the girls argue only for support staff having to stop them and get them 'back as BFFs'.

It's been daily for 2 months. DD went through and faked it with the friendship anddd also had to spend the time she would usually have alone as a study period with the bff because she decided to bunk lessons because of 'anxiety'.

She thought it was over and done on the last day of school BUT she has to go back in on Monday to edit her BTECs work since her teachers made a mistake with one mandatory unit. After this, she's done for the year. Next is uni and a different one.

She doesn't want to bump into the 'best friend'. Hard not to notice her wheels. They don't share lessons but generally the study spaces or if a friend speaks of her attendance the bff.

DD is naive but a bit vulnerable too and thinks the best of everyone! Bless. Well not now but she's heartbroken, scared and wants no confrontation.. It's heartbreaking... What should she do?

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NameChange3045 · 11/06/2017 18:36

I think approaching the parents would instead open room for trouble, definitely.

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Hissy · 11/06/2017 19:45

I think I'd probably be somewhat paralysed until I'd come to turns with this hideous and frankly batshit thing this girl has done to dd.

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Hissy · 11/06/2017 19:51

I think you're wise to go through the school

Have a 3rd party involved to keep things calm and constructive

This was absolutely no fault of your dd. Her friend is clearly NOTHING of the sort!

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Italiangreyhound · 11/06/2017 20:08

raspberrycordial you are definitely correct.

*NameChange30458

"I think this may need to be warned of in schools nowadays"

My friend's son had something similar happen, although in his case he was asked for a naked photo and sent it. But in the end it was similar to your dd's situation. I think it is more common than we imagine. My friend's son was very worried but when he spoke to his parents they told the police and it was all sorted, in as much as it stopped. I do think schools should be warning an internet person may be a stranger pretending to be a friend or a friend pretending to be someone else!

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Italiangreyhound · 11/06/2017 20:09

Similar to your dd in that it was another child and not an adult, I mean. Because of the photo they did inform the police who took it all very seriously.

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NameChange3045 · 11/06/2017 20:29

I think I need to ask DD if she was ever asked to send one

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Italiangreyhound · 11/06/2017 21:06

name I really did not want to worry you, maybe that was why I didn't mention it before, or maybe because I genuinely forgot. It is now all sorted and he is not at all bothered. Just cross with himself. He was younger than your dd when it started.

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Italiangreyhound · 11/06/2017 21:06

I meant you to take the message it all worked out fine.

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NameChange3045 · 11/06/2017 21:36

Italiangreyhound Don't worry, I'm not worried, please don't think I am. I've heard of those scenarios and just needed to double check with DD but she hadn't. At least it's all sorted with your friend's DS

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Italiangreyhound · 11/06/2017 22:22
Flowers
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Italiangreyhound · 14/06/2017 02:15

OP you may not wish to update us, and may even wish to get this thread deleted. But I just wanted to say I hope all has gone well.

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NameChange3045 · 15/06/2017 00:41

Aww, thank you.

We've managed to cut all ties now and told the school who were surprised and horrified.

Thank you for all your help, everyone

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Italiangreyhound · 15/06/2017 04:02

Great to hear, please help your dd to adjust to life knowing what she does, that people cannot always be trusted! but remember, some people can be trusted and your dd will find a way in the future to work out how to do that. Thanks

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TheoriginalLEM · 15/06/2017 04:32

sorry to ask but what on earth is "catfish"?

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Italiangreyhound · 15/06/2017 05:12

Google can answer that one.

It is the second....

catfish
ˈkatfɪʃ/
verb
gerund or present participle: catfishing
1.
fish for catfish.
"with the Mississippi River far below its normal level, the catfishing kept getting better and better"
2.
USinformal
lure (someone) into a relationship by adopting a fictional online persona.
"he was being catfished by a cruel prankster"

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TheoriginalLEM · 15/06/2017 07:15

Thanks. I didn't google because I didn't think it was a proper meaning iyswim.

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Italiangreyhound · 17/06/2017 14:59

Urban dictionary knows everything Theo.
OP how are things, thinking of you.

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