Aibu to think this is quite rude actually??

[Kaytejones]

I have been seeing a specialist for an all-consuming condition for about a year. She has been fantastic and is due to transfer to another hospital in another town shortly. I sent a very nice box of chocolates and a note conveying my thanks as I really wanted to let her know that I was extremely grateful. I don't know who my next specialist will be (need to call the hospital to be fair, that's my responsibility) when she goes. Aibu to think it's a bit rude to have not even received an acknowledgement when I sent this nearly 4 days ago!? I may be a bit sensitive as it has been touch and go as to whether I would even still be here now hence why I am indebted to this consultant.

Thanks Officer ☺️ Happy to accept I'm being daft! I'm a 38 year old woman, not a kid and needed some perspective. Agree, mumsnet is fab.

Erm, no I wouldn't expect an acknowledgement or thank you. I am sure if she is there she will have really appreciated it - I know consultants I work with skip along merrily if they fget a card or some chocs and really genuinely appreciate little gestures. But more often than not, they may not get it straight away if you leave it at a hospital for them - and also it would be veering towards inappropriate boundary issues if they then continued a dialogue with you after you had ceased to be their patient, or about non medical matters. But more likely she has got it, is chuffed, but is extremely busy and wouldn't think a thank you requires a thank you in response.

I think most of us have 'overreacted' a bit like an over-enthusiastic puppy in our gratitude at times, Kayte, or that might just be me? I know that I've done it.

I think your gratitude is really genuine and I'm sure your consultant knows that. To her, I would imagine that she gets considerable job satisfaction from being able to treat her patients and, as your treatment has been so successful, that is probably thanks enough for her. The chocolates may be icing on the cake but your prognosis is what she goes to work every day for.

Hope that you improve by leaps and bounds under your new consultant too.

All the best for your continued treatment OP

Four days! A first class letter can take a couple of days, and a second class one longer. If she does send you a note, then it's likely to be two or three weeks later, not four days.

Just leave it but most people who are polite always do at least a thank you email.

By "nearly 4 days" I assume you mean three days? Yes, a bit unreasonable. I think it's totally reasonable to expect to wait at least a week for an acknowledgement - or not to expect one at all, given you were actually thanking her.

Grand yes - as said above, accept that IABU

areyoulocal
I'm going to assume that you have actually rtft, seen the OP do a u-turn and your shock/surprise is at someone saying that yes, they've recognised they were unreasonable.

Gah, too late to say YABVVVVVVU so will just say what a nice thing to acknowledge your thanks & agree with PPs-my friend is an NHS consultant & get TONS of thank you gifts from patients who are grateful he's done so much for them when they're vulnerable, if a dialogue started for each one he receives,not would be very time consuming!

On the plus side, there are a lot of fab HCPs so don't worry about your ongoing care. It's likely to be great!

Thank you for the recent posts. This thread has given me a lot of perspective when I needed it. It is so unlike me to be a bit flappy and dramatic so it's been v useful :)

Interesting that so many people have said how inundated doctors are with gifts. When I have it to the Secretary she said it was a really nice thing to do and the team hardly ever receive things like this so I wondered if it was an odd thing to do!

• Gave it to, not 'have it to"!

I think it depends. Two friends, one on medical ward and one on elderly care say they rarely recieve anything. However those in psych, oncology and surgery seem to receive more. We talked about it once and they didn't realise how they experienced it was different to others.

But if she emailed you a thank you for your thank you, would you then thank her, for thanking you for her thank you?

I wouldn't expect a thank you for a thank you. It would be a never ending chain of thanking otherwise.

Also my husband pointed out that they may not even be allowed to receive gifts and a quick peruse of Hertfordshire policy that I found on line would suggest this could be the case! Who knew?!

It would be a bit bizarre to send thanks for a thank you

I think where I worked any gifts were put in the staff kitchen for all to share. We rarely knew where they came from but were grateful. Personal thank yous were not given in response. We rarely had time to wipe our own nose.