Dfriend was recently awarded an annual prize by the national association of her discipline, for a research project she did.
Her department threw a champagne reception for her and other award winners (a few at different levels).
At the reception, I said to DH of Dfriend: "Congratulations for your wife's award". (he came up to me and it sounded like the right thing to say?)
He responded:
"Well it would have been very difficult for her to avoid winning it since she was the only one who completed a project [at her level], and they had to give the award to somebody"
He basically meant that since there were no other nominees for this annual prize, and she was the only one who completed a project in that discipline in that year, she kinda got the award by default.
I felt disappointed. I have not socialized much with this DH, mostly spending one-on-one time with Dfriend, but she always speaks very highly of him and they seem like a perfect, loving, supportive couples. She has also taken a "lower" sort of career to move where his career is flourishing. In a time where most my other friends, and myself, are all separated/divorced, they really seem as if they have a relationship to aspire to. I found myself thinking if this is the "bitchy" kind of comment this supposedly perfect husband says behind his wife's back (I had no idea before she had got the award because there was noone else to give it to that year), then honestly what hope is there for the rest of us?
My sister says I am reading too much in a throwaway comment and he was probably just tired from being at the reception, and not everything is about gender. I said "The only acceptable response when someone says Congratulations (for anything), is "thank you".
AIBU?