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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not like the cat

60 replies

Strawberryshortcake40 · 09/06/2017 00:37

Have had issues with him before. Basically the vets think he has dementia/OCD and could only advise PTS if he gets worse.

He is currently the cat from hell. This evening he has yowled continuously and goes between banging the kitchen door and then whacking the cat flap open over and over with his paw. He's woken both DC up already a few times this evening.

Not only that but today I went to get some important papers out of the big bowl they are in on my kitchen worktop to find they were all soaking wet where he had pissed in the bowl.

Seriously I do my best with him but I truly dislike him right now. AIBU??

OP posts:
Whereismumhiding2 · 09/06/2017 01:20

Poor you and poor cat . He does sound very distressed. I think you should talk to vet about his behaviour. So/he will be able to advise you. I say this as a cat lover (I have 4)

nina2b · 09/06/2017 01:20

Lovely - "piss on" your paperwork. Major concern, of course, as opposed to your distressed cat. Hmmm

avamiah · 09/06/2017 01:21

Strawberry,
You just described 2 of my cats and they are perfectly healthy.
They are out all night and come back the next morning.

previouslyanumber · 09/06/2017 01:21

Could he be going deaf or losing his sight?

Otherwise, is his heart OK? Sometimes when the heart is getting weak (for want of a lot of medical descriptions) it will affect the blood supply to the brain and can cause strange side effects.

My cat has a rare heart condition and has started with the yowling in the last couple of years, walks into a room, stares at the wall or at the glass in a door and then turns round and yells.

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 09/06/2017 01:23

Yes piss on paperwork. Or urinate on. Sorry but they were important medical hospital papers for my DD, results from specialists and the like. Utterly destroyed. They were in a bowl on the worktop, presumably most cat owners don't find their cats doing that?

I am aware he's distressed. I am doing all I can. But I'm human, lacking in sleep from him crying all night every night. I really don't know what else to try with him.

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 09/06/2017 01:34

If he's distressed there's only one kind thing to do. Ask your vet one question - what would they do if it was their cat? The answer will tell you a lot.

I don't mean to sound harsh btw, I adore my cats and dogs and they have a wonderful life with me. But as much as I love them I am able to be unsentimental about them and I make the decision to have them PTS when I know their quality of life has gone because I can't bear the thought of an animal in my care suffering. I've had to do it three times in the last two years with elderly animals and while it's hard, I've been certain each time it's been the right thing to do.

avamiah · 09/06/2017 01:35

Strawberry,
There are 3 options,
1)Get a second opinion from another vet ( finances permitting)
2) Put a litter tray in the house for him incase he can't control his bladder.
3)Let him go to another home for a temporary visit ( holiday )
We all know the 4th option but that's your decision.

20nil · 09/06/2017 01:35

Poor you and poor him. Talk to your vet.

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 09/06/2017 01:40

Had a second opinion.
Tried litter tray, vet said no point as it's an inappropriate urination behaviour so he is choosing to go on items of ours (e.g. Washing, ironing, DC homework book, etc)
Nobody would have him (and I don't blame them).

Still yowling. It's been continual since 9pm

OP posts:
Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 09/06/2017 01:42

If he was old or ill I would be able to make the decision. When he had the RTA and was very ill it would have been an easy choice to make, but he rallied and since then has been very unhappy indeed.

OP posts:
avamiah · 09/06/2017 01:44

Strawberry ,
But he is old and sick isn't he?

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 09/06/2017 01:47

Isn't 9 quite young for a cat?

OP posts:
CherriesInTheSnow · 09/06/2017 01:51

Poor you OP :(

I know how hard cat's like that can be, we have just had to rehome our little cat who had a lot of the same behaviours. Tried everything we could - feliway, multiple litter trays, wet food only in case kidney problems, but I am now starting to wonder if it is due to her being inbred :( The woman we got her from turned out to be a very unethical "breeder" (basically a woman who had over 20 unneutered cats, many from the same couple of litters).

Vet couldnt find anything traditional wrong with her. But I have a small DD and amother baby on the way. I couldn't cope with the weeing on all of our possessions either, but she is much happier in her new home as the owner texts me quite frequently to update me and ask questions.

Do you have young children or other pets? The only other option I could think of was that she just was never happy living in a home with young childen, even though she seemed to like DD and sit next to her a lot.

Very sad :(

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 09/06/2017 01:55

The vet told me not to rehome him as he's so massively stressed all the time it would be cruel.

I have older children (he declined more when oldest DC went to uni) and a dog. The dog is very good with him, she will get out of her bed and sleep on the floor if he wants to go in there. I think the dog would be unhappy without him but who knows? She may be glad of the peace and quiet!

OP posts:
avamiah · 09/06/2017 01:58

Yes I suppose 9 is young for a cat .

CherriesInTheSnow · 09/06/2017 02:49

No that makes perfect sense in your situation not to rehome then :)

We had to for the best interests of the cat but our cat was very young. Good luck in whatever decision you make, I know it's hard. We've decided no more cats for us as can't handle the heartache Blush

Crispsheets · 09/06/2017 02:51

Our cat has dementia at 13. She was PTS on the vets advice.

Hulder · 09/06/2017 02:55

9 may not be old for an in-bred pedigree cat.

Equally it doesn't really matter what the cat's age is - it has dementia which is causing it intense distress. People may well have cats pottering about happily in their late teens but if those cats have no health problems then you are comparing oranges and apples.

The cat sounds thoroughly miserable. If there isn't much that the cat enjoys and a lot that makes it distressed, it's time to PTS.

viques · 09/06/2017 03:05

I think the description you give of him looking wrong, being thin and having a bristly coat makes me think that there is a physical problem as well. Have you had him tested for kidney cysts, it's a really horrible thing, that affects middle aged cats, especially those with oriental breeding.

MermaidsTears · 09/06/2017 06:23

Personally I would follow vets original advice and sadly pts.
It's not going to improve for him is it if he has dementia...it will get worse

picklemepopcorn · 09/06/2017 06:30

Sorry Strawberry, but I think you know it's time don't you? Make the appointment, and then spoil him for a day or two.

Alittlepotofrosie · 09/06/2017 06:34

I would put him to sleep without question. It sounds like he has no quality of life even though he may be physically well. In my opinion its cruel to force him to keep going because you're too reluctant to make the decision. Poor cat.

Wallywobbles · 09/06/2017 06:45

I've just put one of ours to sleep as it was the least worse option. It was fine really. Not my first time so new what to expect. Lovely vet. Ask how they do it.

If possible you want them put to sleep with a general anesthetic in the bum. Takes a good while to work but less stressful fir the cat than trying to find a vein. Once they are out injection 2 to stop the heart. If it's in the vein it's quick in the stomach it's pretty slow. This vet did a 2nd dose of no 2 just to be totally sure.

All in all in took a good 30 mins as opposed to 5 when it was in the vein for my old dog.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 09/06/2017 06:49

As a human with OCD, there's times i've wished i could be put down when i've been having really bad spells. As for the dementia, your poor kitty is possibly experiencing a LOT of distress when he can't remember his surroundings. I honestly do think it would be far kinder to put him to sleep now, than let him suffer and become more distressed as his dementia progresses. Better he goes when he still has some memories and comforts.

Patchouli666 · 09/06/2017 07:43

I'm a vet nurse. Dementia is awfully stressful for cats. They are the worst animal to suffer from it. They are by their nature, exacting animals and comfortable within very narrow limits. As long as their lives stay like that they are ok but the confusion dementia adds tips even the most chilled cat over the edge. Yours being an oriental will mean naturally he isn't a chilled cat anyway even prior to the dementia.

It's awful but having him pts is the final kindness you can offer him. You will feel awful, I'm sure but he can't help himself now can he.