Changing the funeral

[Hotpinkangel19]

I need to change who takes the funeral service. We booked a humanist service today but it's wrong. I'm heartbroken, we need a priest instead. Is this even possible?

Ask a priest!

Sorry for your loss

What would the person whose funeral it is want? Whatever your views about a funeral may be - you have to do what they wanted.

If you booked it, you can surely cancel it.

Sorry for your loss

They would 100% want a priest, it's my mum. She's Catholic. My half brother said she liked the person who did the humanist service so would be nice for him to do it (they'd never met but he was a radio presenter she loved to listen to) I wasn't sure but sort of went along with it and now it's hit me that it's completely wrong. I'm in bits.

Thank you, she died on Monday, I saw her die and am still I shock I think and trying to look after everyone else. Not thinking straight.

Maybe the humanist could do a reading or something so you get both.

Hope you are as ok as you can be if you see what I mean.

Did she attend chapel? I'm sure the priest at her parish would carry out the service.

Im Irish so it's a bit different here, but just ask at the chapel nearest where she lived x

Sorry for your loss 🌺🌹🌷
Just a thought, can you have both?

And I'm so sorry for your loss

Go along to either the church she attended or the parish church where she lived if she didn't attend. Ask to speak to parish secretary or the priest and explain the situation.

I suspect you and your brother aren't thinking straight because of your grief - it happens a lot. If your mum was catholic, chances are she would want a catholic funeral, no matter how much she liked the radio presenter. Did she ever talk about it?

sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds a huge shock.

Don't worry at all. Perfectly possible to change things. Are you using a funeral director? If so, ring them and ask them to get a priest - if there was a church she went to they can ring the priest there and even if he can't do it he should be able to suggest someone who can. They can deal with telling the humanist you've changed your mind too. If no funeral director, you'll need to do it yourself - but don't worry! People who are bereaved often take a few goes to make a final decision, it's totally normal and they will have had this happen many times before!

Will you need to have a conversation with your brother and convince him?

Big hugs for you. This is a horrible, horrible time. Don't worry too much about getting the funeral perfect.

@MissClimpsonsTypingBureau Thank you, you have calmed me down a bit xx we have a funeral director so will be contacting them first thing to try and sort it. I'm just hoping the priest is available at the time we've booked though, or it means changing everything. My brother (I think) will be okay with the changes. X

So sorry for your loss, Hotpin.

We changed celebrants after one had taken the time to come and discuss with us. She just wasn't a good fit, and the funeral director couldn't have been more helpful in sorting it out.

This is what funeral directors are for.
Ring him.
Yes you may need to change date/time, so start thinking about that.

If you mum attended Church near to where you are proposing to have the funeral then let the funeral director know which Church.

It is really important to catholics to have a Catholic funeral.

Of course it's ok to change, you are in shock. Ring the priest tonight and he will sort everything.

Definitely what funeral directors are for, they will be able to sort this out for you.
So sorry for the loss of your mum xx

I work for a church. This happens fairly regularly. Just contact the priest.

As she was Catholic do you think she would want a Mass?

Sorry for your loss. Don't worry it can all be fixed.

Sorry for your loss.

The funeral directors can contact another celebrant for you, but I would speak to your brother before changing anything tbh rather than assume he would be OK with it.

Please don't feel bad about this. I am a Funeral Arranger and I know that it's hard during acute grief to pinpoint what you want and to balance it with what Mum would have wanted. Do not worry if it means changing the day or time of the funeral - the important thing is to have a fitting tribute for Mum. Speak to your undertaker in the morning. They can liaise with the parish priest and cancel the humanist for you. They can help you sort out hymns/readings/orders of service for a funeral mass. Focus on what Mum would have wanted and let your funeral director guide and support you. If you need any help or support, please PM me x

@Billybumbler Thank you so much xx

I'm so sorry you lost your mum. I think if she's Catholic she would want a Mass and a priest, no matter how much she liked the other guy.

I know when my dad died last year it took a while to get a slot where the priest, the funeral directors and the crematorium could all make a date. I think it was three weeks before we could have the funeral. Oddly, that made it easier. I would have hated a very quick funeral.

I lost my mum 2 weeks ago and we just had a humanist burial. The celebrant was amazing and totally open to religious readings and prayers for the people that wanted them. Could you merge the two? Could a family member or friend read a prayer. In any case funeral directors are amazing (ours was anyway) so do ring them in the morning and I'm sure it will be easily sorted. Solidarity, it's such a roller coaster.

for all the mums.