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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask people not to tickle my baby?

70 replies

troodiedoo · 08/06/2017 10:01

LO is 11 weeks old. Family members keep poking, prodding and grabbing her, trying to make her laugh. This makes me angry. It's a reflex reaction and doesn't mean she's happy.

I want her to grow up in control of her own body and who touches it.

AIBU?

and how best to tell people this? They will probably be on the defensive when their behaviour is questioned.

OP posts:
WombOfOnesOwn · 08/06/2017 22:29

eggy, I'm sure you believe you're doing what's best for your child, but denying a child contact with all other people than you because you believe they will have severe anaphylaxis reactions to contact allergens is ... to say the least, overblown. The idea that a child would have several allergens that all trigger such an extreme reaction is breathtaking -- is your child in medical journal articles for being so unusual? Otherwise, it seems more than a bit like situations I've seen in which parents take the results of a prick test and a scary reaction to ingestion and catastrophize it into something much worse than reality.

allergicliving.com/experts/can-skin-contact-cause-anaphylaxis/
www.aaaai.org/ask-the-expert/anaphylaxis-to-peanut-from-touching

Lasagnabreath · 08/06/2017 22:32

I genuinely can't see the issue of trying to make her laugh. Ok I could be extremely bias as I couldn't hear my child laugh until about a month after her first birthday. Just make clear what you want and if they don't listen tell them to go.

msgrinch · 08/06/2017 22:34

You've been asked so many times, how aggressively/hard/are they actually grabbing her. Yet you swerve the question. Whats the point in posting if you won't give a realistic amount of information.

brasty · 08/06/2017 22:38

Honestly if a relative said this to me, I would just not touch their baby at all.

Original poster
troodiedoo · 08/06/2017 22:45

They are not aggressive, obviously if they were I would have no problem telling them to stop it. I didn't answer because the level of hardness is not the issue, and it's impossible to articulate anyway as there is no universal sliding scale as far as I'm aware.

OP posts:
llangennith · 08/06/2017 22:47

I'd be pissed at people poking or tickling any of my DC. Stop people before they get close enough. That said, I don't know anyone who'd do this. Weird.

brasty · 08/06/2017 22:59

It is natural to want to interact with babies, and that includes touching them.

Want2beme · 08/06/2017 23:06

I lived in a country where babies and children are the main focus at every gathering. They are absolutely cherished, kissed, cuddled and smothered with affection. It was adorable to see.

brasty · 08/06/2017 23:07

That is what happens in countries that love children.

SallyGinnamon · 08/06/2017 23:14

YANBU

My DC told me as they got older that they hated being tickled. They couldn't help laughing as a reflex but it didn't mean they liked it.

Cuddles were a different matter

Badgoushk · 08/06/2017 23:15

Want2beme, where was that? Sounds sweet!

brasty · 08/06/2017 23:18

But you don't properly tickle babies anyway. Or at least I have never seen anyone properly do it. It is usually a 2 second wiggle of fingers very lightly.

Original poster
troodiedoo · 08/06/2017 23:39

It's interesting to get opinions on this. Thank you all.

I have been deliberately vague as I wanted answers that will reflect what I will likely encounter in real life.

OP posts:
MyBreadIsEggy · 14/06/2017 12:19

Womb I've just read back and I worded my initial post strangely - it should have read that he has anaphylaxis on ingestion and skin reactions on contact Blush

TheLegendOfBeans · 14/06/2017 12:23

This kind of OP makes me a bit sad.

Of course there are extremes of all behaviours but it's second nature for me to chuck any baby gently under the chin, I do it to mine, others do it to her too.

I get that any space invasion is annoying but it's sad that you're going down the "bodily autonomy" route re a BABY.

I'm not saying I don't see your point, but YABU and your post sounds really PFB (even if not your first).

SpringtoSummer · 14/06/2017 12:35

Family playing with baby seems normal/nice.

This seems to be a lot about you (e.g. I know a baby is not in control of her body. I am though until she can speak for herself) but you say both sides of the family, so what does her other parent think?

HappyFeetAgain · 14/06/2017 12:40

I want her to grow up in control of her own body and who touches it.

Oh fgs! Stop being such a drama queen. I highly doubt they are actually 'grabbing' her eithe

HappyFeetAgain · 14/06/2017 12:43

When she starts nursery , school, has friends you do realize that they will touch and play don't you? You're being very ridiculous and precious.

gillybeanz · 14/06/2017 12:43

Ha Ha, is this your first?
Sorry YABU she isn't growing up in charge of her own body atm though, she's a baby and believe me the odd tickle or stimulation by touchy feely stuff will not stop this. Grin
I've heard it all now.

JemDoughnut · 14/06/2017 12:55

Dress your baby up as a slow loris. Everyone knows its cruel to tickle a slow loris.

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