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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to teach these self entitled brats a lesson?

65 replies

Meadowflowers · 08/06/2017 08:03

I have 3dsc and 3dc. The 3 younger go to bed at 9pm and the 3 oldest 10pm. Just lately though the 3 oldest go up and they are so loud loud and downright obnoxious that they waken the other 3dc. They seem to just expect that because they are teenagers it's they're right to all these privileges e.g staying up late, pocket money for sitting on their backsides and not helping in the house at all.
So AIBU to teach them some manners by making them all go to bed at 9pm and earning back the privilege of staying up until 10pm. If they're not settled and asleep by 10 then they go to bed at 9 the following night.
Last night I went in at 12.30am to tell them to go to sleep and they'd stripped they're bed down and made a den with the sheets. On a holiday night or weekend i wouldn't mind but I'm now exhausted as a result of they're immaturity! 2 of the 3 oldest are my dsc and after school they come home, eat and go to sleep for 3 hrs until dinner time. I've said for months this needs to stop. I know I'm in for some nastiness from them but I feel they do need teaching a lesson. Wwyd?

OP posts:

rightwhine · 08/06/2017 15:49

So has he agreed to step up and reinforce the new boundaries?

Original poster

Meadowflowers · 08/06/2017 16:51

Rightwhine, yes, thank you for asking. Yes he has and so far is supporting me. He has realised how serious the issue is and how serious and fed up I am. Step one has been enforced. They are awake! Not napping. I'm the big bad wolf but I did expect that. The important thing is now that we both stick to it together.

OP posts:

rightwhine · 08/06/2017 16:53

Great. Make sure he doesn't slip back into old habits. Hopefully he was just thoughtless and now he realises the importance to you, he'll support you.

Starlighter · 08/06/2017 16:55

I think you need to be a whole lot stricter! No 'naps', they're not babies! They need to help with dinner, clear up and bed at 9 until they can learn to be quiet at bedtime.

RegTheMonkey1 · 08/06/2017 17:11

I just can't get over this. Napping after school. Doing nothing to help in the house .... and with a domestic servant waiting on them handing and foot, cooking for them, being a taxi service etc etc. Personally I would take to my bed if that was possible, a couple of days with you on strike (but ostensibly with a bad cold!) might just make everyone in that house how much they are depending on you. I really feel for you, but you must put your foot down and get these teenagers (and the young ones) sorted out with chores etc.
Grrrrrrr.

RegTheMonkey1 · 08/06/2017 17:12

make everyone in that house realise ...

Original poster

Meadowflowers · 08/06/2017 18:35

Reg, I really like that idea. I think that will definitely come into play. I actually feel emotionally drained with it all today. Got a banging headache and stressed. Although I think the lack of sleep isn't helping right now.

OP posts:

RegTheMonkey1 · 08/06/2017 19:18

Get under the duvet and ignore the lot of 'em!

Original poster

Meadowflowers · 08/06/2017 19:46

headphones on and assume teenager status! I like it. I'm waiting patiently for the fireworks at 9pm!

OP posts:

RegTheMonkey1 · 09/06/2017 10:33

How did it go last night?

Original poster

Meadowflowers · 20/06/2017 19:10

Reg I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get back.
Well it really was ww3. It has only just settle down this week.
Both 15yr olds wanted to move out and it took since 3 wks ago to break the stupid sleeping patterns.
Now they don't sleep after school, they go to bed at 10pm but are asleep by 10.15pm.
There were a lot of arguments and nastiness and almost 3wks of sending them to bed at 9pm and it was hard work, but it has paid off. Thank God!

OP posts:

Siwdmae · 20/06/2017 19:21

Well done, OP, for sticking it out. I sincerely hope you've got your DH off his arse to help with parenting and household chores, not to mention kicking the kids into doing some!

Original poster

Meadowflowers · 20/06/2017 21:32

Yes he has. He's really supported me on this one. Tbh he didn't really have a choice. It was too serious. It's still on going as it will be for years. I think we just need to keep a tighter reign on them all. For now they have all been a lot more pleasant to be around.

OP posts:

milliemolliemou · 20/06/2017 21:42

How's it going now OP?

bringincrazyback · 05/03/2018 18:17

I'm not at all sure about dictating when kids are and aren't allowed to sleep, or getting them up as early as 6 in the morning. A 'one size fits' all approach to sleep times doesn't seem realistic to me. Some sleep disorders make it hard for people (of all ages) to feel tired or wakeful at the times the majority of us do - I should know, I have one and it wasn't uncommon for me to need a nap after school, though I agree 3 hours seems too much. I don't dispute that kids need to learn to function within society's 'normal' timetable in order to be able to function in life generally, but stopping them from sleeping if they are tired after school isn't necessarily going to change anything.

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