Female friends who are exs

[purplerain85]

My husband just told me he's meeting a girl he used to go out with (briefly) for a few drinks whilst he's on a business trip. He told me when he rang me earlier. AIBU to be slightly bothered even though I told him to have a good night. I worry slightly cos this girl who is very nice from what I know of her is always telling me how lucky I am and my husband is a good guy. The other thing is this girl has had a few problems in the past and my husband always says stuff like I feel sorry for her she got screwed over. Also it didn't help when he face timed me to talk to our children I looked like I'd been dragged through a bush after running around all day please go easy on me I only had a baby a few weeks ago which is why I'm slightly uneasy about this

Yanbu, I'd be uneasy too.

Well maybe not uneasy... just annoyed!

I don't want to sound like one of those untrusting, crazy insecure wives, but I wouldn't be happy. It's good that he told you, because it means he's not trying to hide anything. But I agree with you being uncomfortable about it. Especially feeling tired and lonely at home with a new baby.

First of all, congratulations on your baby!

I'd be uneasy too and would my DH if the shoe was on the other foot.

Yeah I'm still sitting on the fence whether I'm actually uneasy or annoyed as if the shoe was on the other foot I don't know how DH would react to be honest.

Well I think it's a good start that he's told you. If he was keeping it secret I'd be worried, but by making you aware it sounds as if he has good intentions.
She could also just be trying to be nice to you by pointing out how lucky you are. If you've not got much else in common then maybe that's all she could think of to reassure you she's not after him.

Maybe ask him to ring you before he goes to bed if you are really worried.

I don't think you have anything to worry about - they only dated briefly.

Why would you be annoyed, though?

Would not be happy at all.

My DH of 40+ years has always preferred the company of female colleagues and is still in contact with several of the women that he had serious relationships with before we met. However, he has never given me the slightest cause to distrust him and I think that's the crucial thing - if your DH is being open with you and you trust him, then I wouldn't worry.

I wouldn't like it at all.

I think it's a bad thing. I don't see the point of it.

Can't see why he needs to meet an ex gf he isnt with anymore for a few drinks tbh. That he's told you doesnt make it any better - cheating in plain sight is a thing, isn't it? I get on well enough with exes say hi when I see them and we can chat - I don't feel any want or need to meet up with them tho theyre a closed chapter theres nothing they have to say Id care about

So he's away on a trip (presumably miles away) and is meeting a friend for a drink that presumably he would never see otherwise. I don't see any problem at all with this.

Nope would not be happy with this in the slightest!

Can a man and a women not just be friends anymore?

How unhappy do you want to be? Your choice entirely.

I don't know, it could be a problem or none at all but it depends on the parties involved. I've got two exes that I am friends with and I consider good guys. But we weren't compatible then and we've moved on since, now they are just friends I enjoy a cup of coffee with sometimes. Nothing wrong with that.

For those that wouldn't be happy..... Are you saying that your partner isn't having an affair only because he's never meeting anyone of the opposite sex? Rather than because they don't want to and would rather just be with you?

If you don't trust your husband and think he will screw her, be worried.
If you do trust your husband, then no worries.

It sounds like you don;t trust him, and that's a cause for concern in your marriage.

If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat, regardless of what you try and do to stop them, short of forbidding them from ever leaving the house.

Being unhappy about your partner having female friends/being in touch with their ex's won't change that at all.

Completely agree with the above two posts. Would you rather he just sits in room alone whilst away? Or meets a friend who he (possibly) hasn't seen in ages?

I wouldn't be happy with that. Not because she is a female, it's because she's an ex. I wouldn't expect my other half to be happy about me meeting an ex either. However, he did let you know and he probably wouldn't mention it if it was something more..don't overthink it

I think it's fine. The girl is probably an adult woman though.

If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat

That's only if you're of the 'destiny' school of thought - where cheaters are born and circumstances have nothing to do with it.