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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have put the baby down?

28 replies

CrohnicallyPregnant · 07/06/2017 10:44

She clearly thinks I am!

She's nearly 3 weeks old, was sleeping peacefully on me and had been for 20 minutes or so, so I popped her down and got myself a drink and snack. Came back and she started crying so I picked her up again, 30 minutes I've been trying to settle her- every 2 mins or so she lets out a huge scream and I have to jiggle/pat till she quietens. Haven't even managed to have my drink yet!

OP posts:
ineedwine99 · 07/06/2017 10:46

Congrats on your lovely baby. I had that with mine as a newborn, within about 5mins she'd wake after being put down, i took to putting her down for naps in her vibrating day bed.

SleepWhatSleep1 · 07/06/2017 10:49

Sling. Newborns often don't like being put down. Google the fourth trimester if you fancy reading up on one theory for it :)

Dandandandandandandan · 07/06/2017 10:51

I read that as "have the baby put down" - thought there was going to be some sad story about a sick kitten or something!!

Mine was the same. Now she's nearly 2 and will only sit on my knee when she wants something. Enjoy the cuddles - I know it doesn't feel like it at the time, but it goes so bloody fast!

Moomoomango · 07/06/2017 10:51

Sling sling sling it will save your sanity

Original poster
CrohnicallyPregnant · 07/06/2017 11:06

I do have a sling ready (actually, I have about 5 different ones...) but I'm not strong enough to use it yet, I tried but it wore me out- I had a csection and lost a lot of blood and I'm not back at full strength.

My first was exactly the same but I'd kidded myself that second babies are a bit more laid back...

Baby is still squawking every few minutes!

OP posts:
SquinkiesRule · 07/06/2017 11:07

Definitely try a sling, if I hadn't used one for Ds2, Ds1 and I would have starved. Lots of sandwich making and fruit slicing went on with the new baby sleeping peacefully in his sling.

Montsti · 07/06/2017 11:08

All 3 of mine were like this...all c sections so I feel your pain...literally...I just walked through any pain (baby carrier or just jigging them around) as I preferred that to the constant screaming! Good luck - it will pass...

NotAnotherUserName5 · 07/06/2017 11:10

Sometimes I had to leave my babies to cry so I could get a drink/snack.

You need to eat and drink too!

NotAnotherUserName5 · 07/06/2017 11:10

Congratulations by the way! Smile

caffelatte100 · 07/06/2017 11:11

as well as holding and cuddling my babies a lot, I used to make mine sleep by themselves sometimes, I think that they should get used to it and even from a young age. I know that this view won't be popular on MN though. To help, I put a shirt I had worn onto the crib, as the sheet. Then it smelt of me and it reassured the baby. My midwife told me about this and it did work. Sometimes I sat next to the crib and talked to them or stroked them as they fell asleep.

WE went on to follow aspects of Gina Ford and we had secure and happy babies who slept through the night very early on and who developed good sleep habits as toddlers and later.

LillianGish · 07/06/2017 11:14

Just to add - you must make time to eat and drink obviously, but please don't ever be tempted to drink hot drinks while you are holding your baby. Crying baby is better than scalded baby - and it is much more common than you might think. Just don't do it.

Neverknowing · 07/06/2017 11:19

Try a white noise app! At full volume on your phone, it has to be louder than the baby screaming/you doing stuff.
Congratulations on your baby btw!!

1bighappyfamily · 07/06/2017 11:21

I had two children 16 months apart. The eldest wasn't walking, and obviously was still in nappies when number 2 (who was, and still is aged 3, an adorable Klingon) arrived.

I learned to grit my teeth to her objections when I had to feed/change/stop the other one from engaging in life threatening activities fairly quickly. I also refuse to hold a child while I'm trying to wipe my own arse.

It's REALLY hard, but a mum who is famished or dehydrated can't do her job properly and honestly, I promise you faithfully, a couple of minutes of objecting while you feed/toilet yourself won't kill her.

And my mum said she'd never heard a cry on a newborn like DD2.

Oh, and neither of mine ever got on with slings. Not sure why - just didn't work for us.

fanfrickintastic · 07/06/2017 11:24

YABVU. Don't you know that you can't ever put a baby down? Or at least that is what mine would have me believe for the first 4 months!

Isadora2007 · 07/06/2017 11:25

Of course it's not unreasonable to put a baby down. But neither is it unreasonable for a baby who has known nothing but noise and movement and squashed-upness to want permanent cuddles.

Get snacks and drinks easily accessible somewhere comfy and cuddle and rest up as it sounds like you also need the contact and rest.

Original poster
CrohnicallyPregnant · 07/06/2017 11:27

lillian I did drink my coffee while holding baby but only when it had gone more or less cold as it took that long to settle her!

notanother I know sometimes you do have to leave them to cry, I'm just shocked it took so long to resettle her, even on me, she's settled now but it did take nearly an hour which seems a bit harsh when I only put her down for 5 mins!

caffe glad that worked for you... if i need to put baby down upstairs I put her on my bed, and even tried wrapping her in my dressing gown that I just took off, it definitely smells of me and was warm from my body... alas she wasn't fooled or reassured by it. Like I said, my first was the same and I transitioned her to cot naps starting from 3 months old, she just wasn't ready before then so I'm guessing DD2 will be similar.

never thanks for reminding me, I have a white noise app so will give it a try.

OP posts:
spiderlight · 07/06/2017 11:28

I had a velcro baby (he;'s still much the same ten years later....) and the only way I could put him down as a newborn was if I had the hoover running right next to him. White noise/womb sound recordings didn't work but the hoover was like magic.

Original poster
CrohnicallyPregnant · 07/06/2017 11:28

Must get round to changing my name... it's a bit out of date now.

OP posts:
silkpyjamasallday · 07/06/2017 11:29

We had a thing called a snugglebundl which was like a sack you could use to carry and lift the baby. It is designed for use post c section to help with lifting, I had a vaginal birth but it was a godsend for transferring a sleeping newborn between buggy or cot or cuddles and keeping dd asleep.

Original poster
CrohnicallyPregnant · 07/06/2017 11:29

Gosh darn it spider I have a cordless Hoover where you have to hold the button the whole time...

OP posts:
OuchBollocks · 07/06/2017 11:33

With DS I let him squak for a moment before a feed, grab my drink then wrap him up in a giant muslin. I feed him then when he's almost asleep I swap my boob for a dummy. Bundled and dummy means I can put him down without waking him probably about 65% of the time.

OuchBollocks · 07/06/2017 11:34

Right now I have a shit ton of stuff to do and not a lot of time to do it so obviously this is in the 35%

RevMarcus · 07/06/2017 11:46

This reply has been deleted

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SleepWhatSleep1 · 07/06/2017 12:01

I'm currently holding my 10month old while he sleeps! Grin

ChocChocPorridge · 07/06/2017 12:03

Oh, they have detectors that go off if you try to put them down, or, if you're on a journey and 15 mins from home.

The first wears off by about 6 months roughly (although will continue for 'sitting next to me while I half nap'), but the 15minute thing is still in effect for my 7 year old so goodness knows when that one'll go.