Porn left in a child's room

[Iris65]

My parents kept a bookcase of lots of types of books in my bedroom when I was a child. I was a voracious reader and had read The Story of O and a series of old fashioned porn books all called 'Confessions of....' by the time I was 12. I also read some pretty nasty horror at around the same time.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family, and although that behaviour feels wrong; I would never have left stuff like that around my own son for example; I can't gauge how wrong it is.
Can anyone help me out in understanding whether this is abusive or neglectful parenting?

Have any of you equating the joy of sex and Jackie Collins actually read the story of O?!!

Ok it was 30 years ago. But if I remember correctly it was about a young woman, who was basically kidnapped and caught up in a sadistic world of whipping, incarceration, chaining up, starving, complete subservience, grooming, prostitution, multiple rape, genital piercing then incrementally large anal plugs fitted in her arse so that her anus expanded for ease of entry.

Not your usual Jackie Collins .

It seems odd that your mother chased you round the house with a knife, yet you choose to lead with racy books in the bedroom bookcase?

Your childhood was abusive and your sister is repeating the pattern. It sounds like your parents weren't the first generation of the pattern either, as your aunt warned you about your grandfather.

You are brave and strong, well done for getting away from your ex husband. Well done for reporting your sister, no 12 year old should be sleeping with a 17 year old.

Have you tried self referring to IAPT? It's free. They can help although there is a waiting list.

I'm not sure many posters read the part about your parents putting the porn books on your bookshelf. They are confused with stories from their own childhood where they went exploring. Its clearly not the same thing.

I think its interesting how many people grew up in chaotic or abusive homes, yet have a strong moral compass and sense of justice. Its the one thing that gives me some hope for humanity.

Wonder how many parents have downloaded 50 Shades and are sharing kindle devices with their kids...

User149...helpful 😐

What, so books with sex scenes should be locked away in households where there are children? Don't be daft.

Sex scenes are different from porn books. That's like comparing Titanic to a full on porn movie.

Leaving porn material in reach of a child is at least neglect and quite possibly abuse.

Thank you for all of the replies. I found many of them helpful. In terms of the books I just wasn't sure whether it was part of the abusive behaviour or not. I know that I have always been uncomfortable around my Father and have never liked being on my own with him. I'm sure nothing happened so perhaps it was knowing what he and my mother read that made me uncomfortable.
He also used to have very young girlfriends, a couple of whom he introduced to me and one could have been my twin which also made me very uncomfortable. I look a lot like my mother though so that's how I explain it to myself.
I am LC with my parents - a polite phone call once a week and I avoid seeing them at all. I am NC with my sister now that her children are both over 18. They were both poisoned against me anyway as the 'wicked, snobby woman who tried to get them put into care.' My sister told me in an argument that she had told them 'all about how I tried to take them off her.'
There is so much that has gone on and while I was awake last night some of it bubbled up. I had thought that I had dealt with it but maybe stuff like that comes back up when someone is tired or ill in some way. I've been awake since 1.50am so am probably babbling now.

Not babbling Iris, just sharing your thoughts.

I was deliberately given the story of O when I was 16, by a bloke who was about 35 or so. He was definitely grooming me. It has disturbed me and shaped me in ways I wish had not happened. To put it in your bedroom was abusive, I think, especially given the other behaviours.

Well done on distancing yourself from that chaos. I don't think that kind of exposure ever completely heals, although as you say it is usually containable. I hope things improve for you soon, and you can leave it behind again.

It sounds as if you are being very good with the boundaries you have established with your parents, very self protective, so well done. Wrt your sister, you have done your best for her children, and that is all a person could possibly hope to do.

Do you keep a journal at all? Sometimes it helps to write things down when stuff comes bubbling up to the surface.

pickle that sounds horrible. It is only since I have been teaching that age group and had my own son that I realise how vulnerable a 17 year old is. Reading some of the threads on MN about daughters having relationships with older boys and men also reinforced how worrying a big age gap is and how abnormal my family were.
I can see how others would assume that it was all chosen - because I did go out with him, do all kinds of stuff and marry him - but I don't think society really understood grooming and abuse very well in the 1980s (when I was 17). I hope you survived OK too. My recovery is patchy and depends on what else is going on.
math Thank you. Its taken a very long time to reach the point that I am at now and its nice to have it acknowledged. I do wonder whether deep down my sister actually knows how bad things were and I do think that she is a victim too. In many ways she is worse than off me because I can kind of see what happened and how wrong things were.
Its hit and miss with the journal. My ex husband stole my journals when we were divorcing and produced them in court as evidence that I was an unfit mother, so I have trouble being open in a journal. Other times, especially online, I spill everything out......

Why are you still dwelling on it, OP?

You read a book with sex in it and you're thinking about it years later. Is there more to this?

You read a book with sex in it and you're thinking about it years later. Is there more to this?

Quite clearly you have absolutely no idea what The Story of O is about. It is not just a book with sex in it.

I have read the story of owns I'm quite aware of what it's about

I just can't understand why, years later, it's still on the OP's mind and I'm wondering if there's more to this story.

Story of O*

Then you know it's not just a "book with sex in it" ffs.

And yes, if you actually RTFT and OPs subsequent updates, you would know there's more to it.

I've not commented on whether her parents were right or wrong...just that I think it goes deeper than just reading these books

So RTFT then.

Iris, my Dm accused me of seducing him... Those were the days, not!

Not right.

At 10+ I used to go through my aunts bookcase and read some pretty fucked up crime cases and mind of a psycho stuff but she had no kids and it was in a big bookcase in the lounge.

I read the story of O at 14 and the Cameron case as well.

I had also read some messed up literature online but again I went looking for it.

To have it somewhere you can just stumble across is pretty neglectful if I am being generous.