To ask people to move seats at the theatre

[Homemoans]

My 6-year son really wants to see a play of one of David Walliams on Saturday, the only seats they have left are on the front row but they are 5 seats apart. WIBU to buy the two tickets and ask the 5 people sat in between us to either move up or move down?

Saying a stranger isn't nice because you made an error that you then expect them to put up with, isn't nice either btw

OP - no more like not everyone thinks it's their responsibility to accommodate someone who has messed up, especially if they find it a stressful situation

user And they are the kind ones apparently - those of us who wouldn't expect anyone to do that for us are unreasonable

And all you've done for them to call you a moron, is buy a seat in a theatre and rightfully sit in it. Like that is such uncharitable behaviour!

Apologies if someone has already said this, but the 5 seats might be 2 different parties (a 3 and a 2) arriving at different times. Even if one group says yes the other might not.

Sorry but YABU

YABU. If you do have the audacity to ask, though, do not be surprised it they say no.

southeast you seem to have a little bee in your bonnet.

I didn't say I knew anything about the five people. I said it is MORE LIKELY that they don't suffer from anxiety than that they do suffer from anxiety.

Is that laughable? If so please point me to the research that shows more people are suffering with anxiety than are not. That's not true to my experience or knowledge.

We can't know everything imaginable about everything all the time. Sometimes you do have to presume things or expect things to get through your day.

Livia I think we fundamentally disagree. You think the world would be nicer if we all lived fairly isolated existences and didn't ever have unnecessary human contact with strangers. I think that kind of world sounds utterly bleak and joyless. I hope if you ever need help and can bring yourself to ask for it you encounter someone who is happy to interact with others.

BUT why presume that THOSE five people don't have anxiety? Or wouldn't you care?

I have friends who I adore. But I refuse to feel like a bad person for not wanting to be put in an awkward position it if isn't necessary. Being kind shows itself in many ways. I struggle to ask for or accept help as well so being kind to me would be involve leaving me alone to get on with things.

Navy If you prefer not to make people uncomfortable then why would you possibly think negatively of those who would feel uncomfortable in that situation?

but I'm sure it's fine to call someone a moron and hatchet faced for not doing a kind thing - there's no irony in that at all

I can't believe people think it's normal behaviour to ask people to move out of a booked seat; it might be ok if it wasn't booked, but I do think it is rude, because people would know u hadn't made a genuine mistake, and that you were trying your luck. If you thought you had booked next to each other, and their had been a genuine mistake, then I would feel empathy.

DS would likely have a meltdown if asked to move even one seat. As it is, events like this have to be carefully planned because his autism causes him to have issues with crowds, so we have to let him know how things are going to go, where we're sitting, exits, start and finish time, what you can and cannot do. Someone rocking up and expecting us to 'just budge up' because they want to sit together but didn't book it wouldn't go over well. I'd have to say no. Guess that makes me a hatchet faced and a 'moron' (awful term, btw).

'We can't know everything imaginable about everything all the time. Sometimes you do have to presume things or expect things to get through your day. '

And this is why responsible people get organised and do what they can to get through their day with minimum impact on others instead of presuming everyone else is there to compromise their own day and dance round them.

Mistakes happen, cock ups happen, but deliberately assuming people will just make things easier for you because you're you is twat behaviour.

I didn't call you a moron. I thought it was hilarious that you were wishing someone luck with being kind and thoughtful in such a negative tone, I was just mimicking that. Apologies if that wasn't clear...

Christ, southeast. Because you can't live your whole bloody life thinking of the worst cas scenario when the opposite is much more likely to be true.

I said in my previous post there must be thousands of scenarios where people inadvertently make anxious people anxious. We can't predict them all and live accordingly.

What if you were thirsty at the theatre or fancied some popcorn at the cinema. Would you not get any in case someone in the crowd suffered from misophonia?

What if I suffered from anxiety and my trigger was people standing too close to me? Would you keep 3 feet back from people in every imaginable situation in case I happened to be the person in front/to the side/behind you?

I just don't know how you can expect people to deal with situations on a daily basis on the slim chance of 'what if'.

expat there have been hundreds of posts here saying 'as long as there is not a particular reason for you to refuse (e.g. Visibility, SN, MH disorders) then it is miserable and uncharitable to say no just because'

Clearly your situation would fall under those disclaimers.

I don't think anyone on the thread has said you're a miserable bastard not to move even if it would really upset your autistic child.

If they have though, of course that would be wrong.

' moving one seat up really cause that much panic Livia? Genuine non arsey question.'

It would in quite a few people. My son, for one. There would be no 'smiles and warm glows'. So I'd have to say no. Hence, why it's best not to book something on the assumption others will move their seats for you.

That's why keeping your distance from strangers is a good thing - you don't have to worry about whether someone has anxiety, ASD etc etc.

Number of people hurt by minimal interaction - zero

Number of people potentially bothered by random people - more than zero

And it looks like your comment was deemed unkind as someone reported it for deletion.

Why not assume that someone will offer if they want to move seats? why not leave people to get on with their evening?

You don't need a justification for not moving, however, Ex, and that certainly doesn't make a person 'hatchet faced' or a, well, that awful term you got deleted for if they do refuse. You disagree, so what? I think it's pisstaking to book seats or the like on the assumption others will move for you unless they can justify it as to why not. It think it makes someone entitled, rude and pisstaking to live their lives thinking others need to cater to their needs or they are miserable, uncharitable or any other derogatory term.

I didn't call anyone hatchet faced.
Nor did I call anyone a moron.

Yep we disagree

I feel like I'm the happier person for it though so best wishes to you.

It's this kind of jip that would make a person feel pressured in to moving against their wishes tbh. But why? What are your issues? It's just one seat! All of that contributes to making people feel uncomfortable. People just want to have a nice evening without hassle. And that's ok. Just as some people here deem it ok to rest their own lack of organisation on other people's shoulders.

It's a privilege you're in a position to do so, Ex. Not all of us are so we've had to check smugness at the door.

Privilege I'm in a position to do what, sorry?

Nah I'm happy that I'm realistic about life and that I don't virtue signal while slagging others off

expat