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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask people to move seats at the theatre

633 replies

Homemoans · 06/06/2017 15:48

My 6-year son really wants to see a play of one of David Walliams on Saturday, the only seats they have left are on the front row but they are 5 seats apart. WIBU to buy the two tickets and ask the 5 people sat in between us to either move up or move down?

To ask people to move seats at the theatre
OP posts:
stuckin90s · 07/06/2017 09:38

The person who has their reasons for not wanting to move, probably doesn't want to explain why in front of a theatre full of people; like the lady with the autistic son. You might ruin their whole theatre experience, by putting them in an uncomfortable situation.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/06/2017 09:39

If they wanted the one nearer the centre then they would have booked it Confused

Not asking a random person to help you out means that they are not affected in any way.

Asking someone at the very least inconveniences them.

So why not err on the side of caution, let people get on with their trip and don't expect people to accommodate you out of some sense of politeness? Turning up expecting someone to move isn't kind or polite.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/06/2017 09:41

And some of the attitudes on here are exactly why some people are saying they wouldn't accommodate a request like that

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 07/06/2017 09:42

Technically only one of the party will be affected but they will still all sit together.

Only if they are all 1 party. There arec posters suggesting it only needs 1 person to move to allow OP and child to sit together which would mean the person moving won't necessarily be with the other persons they booked with. If i were with an adult or an older child i would move, not if I were with a yping child.

OhTallulah · 07/06/2017 09:45

Again this.

You're not expected to accommodate if you don't want to. It's not rude to ask someone if they could move though. They can say no if they wish!
Bookmark

It's not rude and entitled to ask, it's rude and entitled to expect and demand.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/06/2017 09:47

And if they are unable to say no because they are put in an awkward position?

The only selfish person is the one who turns up and expects people to bend over backwards.

If it's important, book the right tickets

Or don't go

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/06/2017 09:48

And if the person being asked says yes because they don't want to offend or risk the other person giving them daggers all night?

AwaywiththePixies27 · 07/06/2017 09:48

Thankyou stuckin90s. You've explained it perfectly. If I have an ear infection, I cant wear my hearing aid and have to sit on the left (so I can still hear properly out my good ear). I also need to be at the end in case something sets my autistic DS off and I can scoot him out asap so he doesn't disturb other theatregoers. (Yes I know they have relaxed performances but his sister still likes to go to these things too and he was surprisingly well behaved at the theatre when we last went altogether). I've also got to make sure my DD is okay on her own as she gets quite clingy being left on her own after what she's been through (I'm working on her). I also have huge anxiety, and don't do the 'middle of places' as it makes me think I cant get out in an emergency and I panic.

I certainly wouldn't be explaining to a theatregoer whilst I had said no to moving.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/06/2017 09:50

This is where 'kindness' gets you.

The person who asks the favour gets their way

The person who has felt obliged to say yes (out of kindness, politeness etc) has to move

OP - sorted

Person who moves - inconvenienced for having th audacity to be organised

NavyandWhite · 07/06/2017 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/06/2017 09:58

I'm sure those people would offer rather than wait to be asked.

By asking someone you are potentially putting them in an awkward position. How is that in any way okay? You don't know how someone will feel (anxiety, SN etc) so surely the 'kind' thing is to leave them to get on with their viewing? It's not kind to ask.

Also if it's a David Walliams thing I presume some of the others in the row will have children with them and want to sit by them? Why should they have to rearrange themselves?

NavyandWhite · 07/06/2017 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stuckin90s · 07/06/2017 10:01

This could even cause arguments between different family members, those who would want to move and those that didn't. We are a family of 5;I can imagine this situation annoying some of us but not others. It is rude to ask, because you didn't book the seat.

limitedperiodonly · 07/06/2017 10:01

This is crackers. I'd move if someone asked nicely and it made no difference to me. If that wasn't the case, I'd say no.

ExPresidents · 07/06/2017 10:03

'Bend over backwards for them' = stand up. Take one step to the side. Sit down.

I'd hate to see some of your reactions if you were asked for a big favour.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/06/2017 10:10

It's not a big effort but the comments to people who would prefer not to move are ridiculous.

OP wants a favour. Someone doesn't want to do that favour. So it's the person who won't move who is mean spirited, rather than the OP?

If I was asked a big favour by a stranger I would possibly feel obliged to help but I wouldn't be full of joy about it.

So the stranger gets help, and I'm left feeling pissed off.

I was taught as a child by school that it is rude to ask for things. And actually it us

QueenOfRubovia · 07/06/2017 10:10

Technically only one of the party will be affected but they will still all sit together

The 5 people might not be just one party. They might not all be together. So the one person who moves will be sitting away from their own group.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/06/2017 10:10

And it's because people go out of their way to be 'kind' that anyone who doesn't want to be inconvenienced by a randomer is called mean spirited etc

ExPresidents · 07/06/2017 10:18

Yeah those 'kind' bastards, ruining life for the rest of us.

MackerelOfFact · 07/06/2017 10:19

YABU. I would move for you, but the idea itself is just a no-no.

Firstly, people book early to get good seats together. That's not a luxury you get when you book late.

Secondly, imagine if this was commonplace and everyone assumed people were going to move? You might have someone on the 2nd seat who is assuming that the person in the aisle seat will swap, and someone else who is assuming that the single seat in the middle of their party won't mind shuffling up one. It'd be fucking chaos.

Finally, you will need to get the agreement of up to five people, who may not arrive on time or together.

I don't think it's worth the hassle or the risk, even if you're sitting next to the nicest 5 people on the planet.

QueenOfRubovia · 07/06/2017 10:19

I've said that under these circumstances I would move if asked.
I think most people would move if asked.

But the original 'actual' question being asked is should OP buy the
tickets and ask everybody to shuffle up a bit to accommodate her
when she gets there. And THAT is what I would not do, because it's a bit rude and presumptuous.

IHateUncleJamie · 07/06/2017 10:29

I feel like Pam from Gavin and Stacey. "HAS NO ONE NOTICED..." that 1. The OP hasn't been back and 2. She said she wanted Saturday but about 10 pages ago someone pointed out that she'd been looking at (and posted the screenshot of) bleedin' FRIDAY?

There are over 100 tickets for the Saturday show, all of them together, so this whole thread is moot.

QueenOfRubovia · 07/06/2017 10:34

There are over 100 tickets for the Saturday show, all of them together, so this whole thread is moot

Not for those who enjoy a bit of friendly bickering Smile

IHateUncleJamie · 07/06/2017 10:45

Haha 😂 Fair point, Queen

Ravenblack · 07/06/2017 10:52

It makes fuck-all difference to anyone's view OR how they will hear the show if they move ONE SEAT ACROSS. (Barring a pillar in the way, or someone having massive head.) Anyone who claims it does is being the dramatic one.

And there is no entitled to attitude from the OP, she was just thinking of asking FFS. People need to stop making shit up!

@bruffian
Dd and I went to see wicked. A mum was sitting behind her daughter. She asked if I would swap seats so she could sit in dds place, so she'd be next to her dd (who was about 5) and I'd be behind my dd. I said no. It was dds birthday and we wanted to sit together. She called me a fucking bitch. Nice.

I am seriously struggling to believe this happened.