Changing my plans to have kids whilst ex goes on holiday

[Sharpasknives]

Just that really. We are on fairly good terms, I am taking the kids away for 2 weeks in a August. He wants to go away in September for a week with his g/f. But wants me to have them on his weekend so he can fly Saturday to saturday,, rather than Monday to Monday , which wouldn't affect the kids childcare at all. He's adamant that there are no flights for their chosen destination on any other day than the Saturday.
Now, I wouldn't mind having them but I have plans for that weekend, which would mean me cancelling them, to have the kids.
AIBU to think - he's had 2 child free weeks to take a holiday, and surely he could change his destination to somewhere that flies on the sunday as its only Saturday night I have plans.
Opinions please

You lost my sympathy at I will have to have them 3 weekends in a row wtf? I have my DC 52 weekends in a row, as do most parents. Get a grip, or get a babysitter. It's a bit crap to go back to you ex and say no now if you've already agreed.

Only try and dictate what sort of holiday he should have if you are prepared to follow his demands on yours.

And I agree that there is plenty of time before September to sort out an acceptable place to leave them (home with a sitter, with family, at sleepover are the obvious options).

If you are inflexible, it's not going to encourage flexibility in return, and you never know when you might want to swop weekends.

so it seems I will have to forfeit my child free weekend, which means I will have them 3 weekends in the row. Fancy having to spend three weekends in a row with your own kids. There should be a law against it.

It sounds like you've got into a pattern of being very present with the children on 'your weekend' - never leaving them or going to things like weddings on 'their time'. If that's the case, then i don't wonder you do need time off without them. But as they get older i think you need to be a bit more flexible, and a bit less intense about the time you are with them - i'm sure you can find some way to leave them home with a sitter or take them to the wedding or even just the wedding hotel (if you're staying over) and they can be in the room with a dvd and popcorn.

Agree to swap but tell him it's only on the proviso that he makes childcare arrangements for the saturday night

^This

Yabu, it's a one off, so what you have to have your own children for 3 whole weekends, get a sitter, there teenagers not babies.

I will have to forfeit my child free weekend, which means I will have them 3 weekends in the row

"How awful for you."

^This

I also agree that the kids have to see that life goes on around them and it can't all be Disney weekends.

You can arrange a sleepover for that night, perhaps using one of the previous or following weekends to reciprocate.

It will be difficult to have your kids for 3 weekends in a row Op, I've had mine practically every weekend since he was born, that's almost 416 of them! 😂

YANBU OP.

It's fine for your ex to ask if you can have the DC during his contact time and it's fine for you to say no sorry I've got plans.

If you've both got things on then the parent whose contact time it is has to suck it up and sort something out. That's how it should work although my XH has a totally different take on it

You make it sound like having them at the weekend is such a chore! I, like many parents, I have my kids every weekend of the year mostly... Only you can decide what is more important. Saying no and going to the evening wedding reception or saying yes and banking the favour for the future when your ex might have plans that he could cancel for you.

Is there really no one either of you can ask to have them for the Sat evening? They are 12 & 13 - surely a friend of yours? A friend of theirs?