have i reached the height of middle class pretension ?

[Gowgirl]

I've just realised I'm julienning carrots and cucumber for the moppets to dip in organic bloody hummus while admiring my shiny new bottle of craft gin.

Then I realised that they probally wont eat their fish fingers and chips now, and I spent all day mumsnetting so the house is a shit tip!

Feel free to add your own

I've got to say as an infrequent user of mumsnet who just really looks at the hot threads emails I get, this has got to be one of the funniest discussions I've read! Absolutely hilarious- light hearted entertainment at its best! Thanks guys- thought the " I've seen my neighbours shagging in the hot tub" was the best but this is way above that😂😂😂😂bloody brilliant

I take my four year old to a football playtime on a morning. He proudly asked the coach 'can we hurry this up please, I need to get to Starbucks'

I was only remarking to DH the other day, as we tucked into reduced for quick sale smoked salmon and home made spelt bread, "It's so hard being poor these days, dwarling, isn't it?" God knows how I make the ESA stretch

I don't normally post on these sort of threads.

But on his way home dh randomly picked up a piano and has left it in my hallway.

I had a KFC for lunch at work the other day, spent 20mins justifying it to DP when I got home who stopped me mid explanation because he was laughing so much at me explaining that the reason why I chose KFC was that I was out of the office, down the crap end of (insert massive well known street at the down at heel end of the monopoly board), it was a hot day, no shade, 24 weeks pg, feet aching, and it was either KFC, McDs or dodgy kebab......

He said, ffs, stop being so bloody middle class, it's only chicken.

I overheard this conversation the other week

Woman 1: Have you been away?

Woman 2(very tanned): yes

W1: anywhere nice?

W2: oh no. Just our house in France.

I was agog that owning a second home in France isn't nice!

Ds is in his high chair demolishing an avocado. He's been getting above himself recently

love this.

I've learned on this thread that if you grew up on a council estate or otherwise had humble beginnings, it's OK to openly boast in a way that would otherwise be distasteful twattish about the poshness of your current life. I still don't understand the whole charade of pretending it's funny/embarrassing.

'Mn would be devoid of life if people didn't stress about the minutiae of how to humblebrag about being middle class.'

Oh yes.

Threads along the lines of 'oh golly, my kids have such sophisticated taste buds' are as reliable as parking threads and MIL angst.

Many mentionings of brioche! Do you think the pride some people have in their kids' brioche love is the modern equivalent of 'Percy will only eat that new fangled pre sliced bread, he's ever so fancy'.

And as for the child who couldn't conceive of anyone staying in a three star hotel...

I buy new hatleys rain coats and wellingtons every year.

I came down stairs to much commotion as my dh was trying to get the children ready for a walk around the lakes.

Mummmmmmmmiiiiieeeeeeeeee 'daddy was trying to put my dragon wellies on with my knights coat' cried one of my 4 yr old twin boys. My 2 yr old girl was refusing to entertain the idea of last years coat with this years wellies simply saying 'no not match'. After sorting out the situation twin 2 says 'we tried to explain but he just doesn't seem to understand'

My 2 yr old has 38 different dresses and her preschool (she goes 3 days a week) commented that they have never seen her in the same outfit. (I had 4 boys before a girl).

I have 3 different coffee makers and a spirilizer 😬

The twins teacher said they had them all in stitches when they commented on 'more new coats' yes said T1 mummy loves buying us nice things, T2 then said but daddy said she not allowed to buy and more bloody cushions, we have too many cushions!!!

We have 2 conservatories??

Now if anyone shops at Fortnum & Masons, that's another story.

I shop in Harrods food hall about once a fortnight. It's not that much more expensive for basics. Except the cupcakes - an eye watering £4.00 each worth it though

Maybe I am middle class but just don't realise it?

How come this thread didn't get deleted then?!

I'm working class, not particularly posh, but I do like my Starbucks/Costa Coffee. The only thing that's ever came close to m/c pretension is when my DS was 2, he had a tantrum in the street as he didn't want to go to asda, instead shouting "no Mummy, I want to go to Starbucks".

Dear lord- I just googled Hatley rain coats as everyone is going on about them and I wondered wtf they were on about. Turns out my daughter has one that we bought 2nd hand for a fiver from someone on Facebook. Who knew they were 'a thing' (well, not me evidently!)? Never seen anyone else in one, though...

Also still laughing (not really) at the 3* hotel one; my kids think Premier Inn and Travelodge are posh.

I've got a pasta maker, bought it about 15 years ago from the Netto aisle of crap.

DS constantly asks for brioche or pain au chocolat for breakfast. I'd prefer him not to tell anyone, not because I'm so faux tinkly laugh embarassed about being middle class, but because I don't want people to know I'm basically giving him cake for breakfast
I also remember my WC mum buying them from Morrison's about 25 years ago (when reduced) so they've never seemed MC to me in the slightest!
I suppose my own tinkly laugh moment is DS often walking through town loudly begging to go to Waitrose. I always get him his favourite tuna sandwich with my free coffee, but I suppose a 4 year old begging for Waitrose is a bit random...

Hmmm. This thread has made me realise I have never had brioche or bought anything from Hatley or Joules....

Baffling try-hard thread.

I took things like hummus, olives and avocado to school for lunch, and I'm 43! It's hardly caviar and truffles, is it?

I certainly never begged my 'mummy' for them, mind you. That was reserved for the things she never bought, like sausage rolls and iced buns.

Wow, this thread reminds me of being a teenager and telling my mum a hilarious story of what my friends and I got up to, only to have that turned into a lecture and a telling-off

Me: There's no John Lewis in this town, where can I get a dish for baked Camembert?
Mum: Poundland?
Me: Hah, not likely

A few days later

Mum: Did you ever find a dish for your cheese?
Me: Well yes poundland did have one but it was pink not terracotta

I think it is now de rigueur to tell anyone over for dinner (after the meal) that the wine is from Lidl, and how many awards it won; and how much more "French" their patisserie is than Waitrose's. But none would admit to decanting Lidl gin into an artisan bottle once its been drunk, though I suspect many do.

I think it is now de rigueur to tell anyone over for dinner (after the meal) that the wine is from Lidl, and how many awards it won; and how much more "French" their patisserie is than Waitrose's. But none would admit to decanting Lidl gin into an artisan bottle once its been drunk, though I suspect many do.

This thread is a bit much, but I suppose when a cute child you love comes out with one of these corkers, it feels charming and adorable and you have a little chuckle with those who feel the same way about the child.

Reading about random children we have never met making remarks about 3 star hotels or hummus is not quite the same. Especially the hummus / brioche comments as both hummus and brioche are industrialised mass market foodstuffs available very cheaply in every supermarket in the land. Those remarks would only really sound funny if it was still 1985 and they were like unicorn's teeth.

I gamely tried to read this thread as "lighthearted." But I just. . . can't.

God forbid this thread is moved to Classics.