wedding etiquette

[Sunshinegirls]

I am going to a wedding in a few weeks and have bought a black dress, my mother is horrified and has informed me that you shouldn't wear black to a wedding as much as you shouldn't wear white. I've never heard of this. Is it a thing?

That's a nice dress! My dress is long and plain, v necked and long sleeved, no redeeming features! cant take a pic just now, sorry

Ask the bride!

Thanks sweetbitter

I one wore a black dress with pink flowers on. I only found out after the wedding about the wedding etiquette. I had lots of compliments but do think that the bride may have been a bit miffed like someone mentioned up thread.

It's disrespectful and normally means you don't agree with the union. Also looks very dull in the photos!

I think I confused everyone by putting my mothers dress pic on! I don't think it will look dull in pics, and regardless, surely it's about being comfortable. I wouldn't dream of asking someone to wear something they weren't happy with (which is why I've ended up forking out over £200 on a bridesmaid dress I hate but my bridesmaid likes)
I am sure OP can brighten it up if needs be but I really think that unless she's turning up in full mourning gear with a veil and a hanky it's just a dress, no statement needed.

There was a thread recently on this - pretty split between those getting heated about it TOTALLY not being a thing any more and they'd LITERALLY never heard of it and those saying yup it can still be a thing.

My approach would be - why risk it, unless you know for a fact the bride will be fine about it - even then, there will probably be one or two especially from the older generation who would think you'd made a faux pas. Not ideal when there are so many dresses in the world.

Yours does sound very black too. Polka dots with bright red hat and shoes etc - probably totally ok. Long sleeved all black - really not.

Ask here for folk to help findign something else!

I only remember one black dress from my wedding, but that's because the wearer is six feet tall, and the dress didn't seem to cover nipples and arse at the same time!

Others may have worn black, but unless it was accompanied by lilies and a veil, I wouldn't have noticed.

hundredmilesanhour Whoops. I went to a wedding on Saturday and wore a white top, cream jacket, long green skirt and black shoes.

I really approve of the union and wish them lots of happiness so I hope I didn't offend the bride......
I am not particularly superstitious myself but I would do that on purpose in case the bride or groom were.

DM told me that green is the fairies color and they get pissed if you wear it and it brings you bad luck as a result. Please note that you are the one who gets the bad luck, not the people around you. Apparently this also works for cars. My mother had a green car and that thing rusted like a tin can. I guess the fairies were ticked and were trying to turn it brown.

People worry far too much about this sort of shit.

DM told me that green is the fairies color and they get pissed if you wear it

I don't suppose it takes much champagne to get a fairy pissed.

Don't ask the bride, she'll say it's fine to be polite even if she doesn't think it's ok, and all her/the groom's family/half the other guests might be quietly judging you.

If you have time to change it, take it back for something else. Navy blue is perfectly acceptable if you aren't comfortable wearing bright colours.

(I think green is only considered unlucky in some parts of the country, it's certainly not a universal issue.)

DH and I were at a wedding on Saturday!

Quite a few female guests wearing black accessorised with coloured shoes, shawls, fascinators etc.

All looked great and not disrespectful in any way.

I wore this dress to a wedding recently. I only went to the evening (so dodged all photos) and I thought it was okay because it wasn't all black. However there was a woman wearing a cream lace maxi dress which I thought was a bit maybe people thought the same of me?

About this green thing, I've got a minty greeny/blue skirt to wear to a wedding in a few weeks.. I've never heard of the no green rule.

I've never heard of it, but we were asked to wear colourful clothes to a funeral recently so it's not an issue any more?

The only one I've heard of is not to wear white or cream which takes the attention from the bride (if she's traditional of course).

Sorry: did you just say that you are wearing a long back V-necked dress to this wedding? Like this? I think your Mum probably has a point.

Wear black and have a colourful matching shoes and bag x

well, the royal family doesn't seem to have heard of it as there are a few photos of Kate and other royals wearing black at a wedding. (Kate's outfit not being really attractive to be fair,but that's irrelevant).

I'd never heard about black being frown upon before reading the thread on MN, and I trust the Royal Family more than I would trust random strangers about etiquette. I have worn black at weddings, and will again!

A black veil would probably be overkill

The rule is not to be the center of attention, and/or wear white/ivory/cream for obvious reasons. There are lovely black dresses perfectly suitable.

No white/cream/ivory - too bridal
No black - funeral
No green - the colour of envy/jealousy
No red - scarlet woman

Having said that, they're all old wives tales anyway along with most superstitions. Wear what you like. My best mate wore a black maxi dress to my wedding and she looked gorgeous.

“It's a very well known tradition, but not everybody cares about it.”

I would say that it is a tradition, but not everyone is aware of it, especially younger people. I would say that people my age (58) and older would know that black is considered a bit of a faux pas for a wedding, although it wouldn’t personally bother me.

There was a long thread about this recently and it was very obvious that about half the posters weren’t aware of this tradition (which some might say is outdated)

I agree that it might be an idea to check if the bride is OK with you wearing black.

“Also looks very dull in the photos!”

Does it really matter?

I’ve worn green to a wedding before, and so has my sister. Sadly, both marriages didn’t last, but I doubt it was to do with what we wore. The dress that ILookedintheWater has shown really does look funereal though.

i agree no black/cream or white. I had never heard the green thing though and I am mentally totting up the number of weddings I have worn green to over the years. It's my favourite colour so there have been quite a few. Most of which are still going strong and I am also still going strong. Touch wood.

The dress that ILookedintheWater has shown really does look funereal though

Well, it's meant to. It's Morticia Addams.

If the bride is the type of ridiculous person that gets upset or offended at the colour of a guest's dress, then don't bother going at all. If not, wear what you like as the bride will just be happy you're there.

I just remembered the only tradition that I was told about weddings , it was for the bride to not have scarlet flowers with her white dress because "it looks like bandages" or some such rubbish.