Wedding guest (family) - what does DH wear?

[Ohthepressure]

My brother is getting married in a couple of months and we are travelling from Australia for the wedding (and to see family and friends obviously). We're not the closest family in the world, but we get on ok, at the moment (the distance is very helpful) although DH has never got on well with my parents, and vice versa.

DB's a lot younger than me - he's 28, my DH is 50 (I'm nearer 50 than 40, sob...). When asked about dress code a few months ago DB obviously hadn't given it much thought, but eventually agreed that lounge suits is probably about the mark. I thought our plan was for DH to buy a suit from M&S when we are there, as the quality's better than over here. Even though he rarely wears suits for work his other ones are 7+ years old so he could do with a new one.

DH is now saying that he will wear a new pair of these : blazerclothing.com.au/collections/pants/products/hawthorn-stretch-twill-pant-dark-navy?variant=16404808773 which he currently wears to work, with a shirt and tie. I'm wearing this : www.floryday.com/Polyester-Floral-3-4-Sleeves-Mid-Calf-Cute-Dresses-m1027961 - it was very, very cheap from another site and I thought quite weddingy and a bit different without wasting money on a one-off wear. As far as I know there's no "wedding party" role, no matron of honour / ushing required, we're just going to be milling around, but I just don't think those trousers are smart enough for a wedding guest. I would be mortified if he wore those to a friend's wedding, and to wear them to my brother's seems like a deliberate two fingers up to my family. I am (sort of) prepared to be told AIBU though, I know it's August, in the UK (albeit about the same as a nice winter's day here, it's 25 degrees here at the moment, first week of winter) and a suit will be slightly overkill but at our age it's hardly about the fashion show is it?

I think dark chinos, nice shirt & tie will be fine. You've travelled miles, literally, it'll all be about your DB and new DSIL and the fact that you're there and have made a huge effort! I think you'll look great.

Look more than fine to me, particularly to someone hosting a wedding who hadn't given any thought.

If the dress code is suits, then he should wear a suit (not chinos), including the jacket for the formal bits but jettisoning it for the party bits.

The plan to buy one here sounds sensible.

I would get him a jacket to go with the trousers, as without he could appear to be dressed too casually (and he might be cold!)
You will be able to get a lighter material tweed type jacket in a high street store here, which he can them wear for many other occasions. (Unless you can pick that type of jacket up in Oz also)

To save space and money you could always hire for your DH .

He needs a suit. To go to a wedding (evening only would be different) in chinos, shirt and tie without a jacket would be really, really rude if the dress code is suits

Wear a suit and tie, a suit looks like your've made an effort.

The trousers are fine. My husband wears similar to weddings with a shirt and tie. He also has a couple of jackets, one light-weight and one tweed that he wears with them depending on weather. Not a matching suit set but ones he wears with jeans on a night out as well (he isn't a suit person).

If the dress code is suits then chinos and a jacket will be fine. It's user to specify what people wear than to come wearing something that doesn't 100% match up to the dress code. My husband can't afford a new suit for a wedding. I've worn the same outfit to two weddings this year so far and will for the next two. You're travelling from abroad. The expectation that you also spend loads of money on clothes you probably won't ever wear again is ridiculous. Some PPs are SO old fashioned.

Ruder, not user!

Looks fine to me.

if your DH is the stereotypical Aussie bloke, then an Akubra hat and corks is essential.

They would be ok with appropriate shoes (a tan brogue would be nice) and a jacket (something like this would be good http://www.jacamo.co.uk/shop/black-label-herringbone-tweed-blazer-long/SO395/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=5207&cisku=SO39508&ciisrc=18615224&promo=6230&cmmmc=GooglebaseeJacamomo--Product%20Feeds---na&gclid=CjwKEAjwgtTJBRDRmd6ZtLrGyxwSJAA7Fy-hhaML3hkzIsOgNuFlelGt4XU6gjGnLUwnMPs7EXXlxoCIQvwwwcB&dclid=CKWDgouSptQCFZesUQodwX4PiQ#colour:Blue,size: - apologies for the massive link)

Without a jacket he would look not very weddingy at all.

What kind of wedding is it? If it's a traditional white wedding you don't need to be told the dress code - men wear a suit, end of story.

If it's a less formal wedding, it might be ok except that he was told lounge suits so safer to wear one anyway.

It really depends on what the bridal party are expecting:
Weddings are usually formal occasions i.e. Morning coat or lounge suit for men and smart day dress/ suit for women.
Your dress fits the bill .
Occasionally people veer from the above to black tie+ cocktail dress or to informal eg brief signing at registry office and then home for a party .
If the dress code is lounge suits then that is what you should wear ( can be bought cheaply/ borrowed or second hand) but I would ask again in your circumstances as DB might have spoken off the cuff.
As you are close family of course your presence is much more important than what you are wearing so if bride and groom are happy and your OH doesn't mind possibly being a bit underdressed in comparison to you and to others than I'm sure it would be fine.
But chinos/ shirt / tie with or without a jacket is not equivalent to a lounge suit.
NB I may sound a bit stuffy but I will add that there is absolutely NO need for new clothes for guests at any function if you have something that fits the code .

If he's not best man or usher I would say fine tbh-guests should wear what they want, shouldn't they?

That said, why ask if you're going to ignore?

Seems daft to buy another suit if he's already got some that he doesn't wear-won't one of those be OK?

Love your dress, btw.

He should wear a suit. Chinos are like dress down Friday for weddings. Fine if its a festival themed in a field not great for anything more formal.

Looks fine to me...

Your dress is lovely op.
Depending on the wedding, the chinos and the jacket linked by Nanoo would be fine for most of the weddings I've been to in the last few years, but they have been quite relaxed, lots of jam jars and bunting affairs.
For something more formal, a suit is usually required.

Well it's not a lounge suit is it ?
Why not wait till you get here and check with your brother.

I always have this exact disagreement with my dh! i really think it depends on how formal the wedding is. We have been to plenty of weddings where the trouser shirt tie combo is just fine but others where it would of been very inappropriate to not wear a full suit. I think based on what you are wearing (which is gorgeous by the way) he should wear a suit.

Your dress is lovely. He definitely needs a jacket. If you've been told lounge suits and can afford it, then wear it. Better to be too smart and remove jacket than too casual and offend.

I don't think the trousers are formal enough for a family wedding - and whether you are a member of the wedding party or not, you are still part of the family and will be in various photo groups. Your DH will look odd if he's the only one in shirt and tie rather than a suit. Even a matching blazer would look better than just shirt and tie.

Can he bring the trousers over, you talk with your family and then either buy a suit or blazer in M&S or go in shirt and tie if your brother and his bride are OK with it?

Completely on another note, where did you get the dress? It's $70NZ on the site you linked, I'd love to find it somewhere cheaper! :)

HicDraconis Cheaper?! It shows as £37.89 for UK delivery which makes me assume that it's from one of those dodgy chinese websites where what you get is nothing like the quality of the picture you have seen, especially when you see the other items on the page. All the other items are completely random models/backdrops which makes me suspect that they've been lifted from elsewhere on the web. I would be completely suspicious of a site like this and would be concerned about sweat shop production etc.
Sorry to go off on a tangent OP, but have you already received this dress?

Mctufty - men wear a suit, end of story. - really, every single one?

We were at a white wedding this weekend, my Dh wore a suit and I wore a dress. But my SIL wore a trouser suit, her DH a pair of smartish trousers and a tweed'ish shirt. No sign of a tie and jacket in his outfit. Another male relative wore open sandals due to foot problems. No one battered an eyelid!

Op - those trousers look fine, but he will need a jacket, given the variable weather in UK. I had no jacket to match my dress, and wondered whether I could get away without one if weather nice. Whilst it was sunny, it was windy and I was glad of the jacket bought a couple of days earlier.

As you say, you are not part of the wedding party, so as long as you are both smart, which those trousers look to be, that is fine.

He should wear a suit. Your brother has said Lounge suits so to turn up in chinos will look deliberately rude.