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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed about school awards?

118 replies

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 04/06/2017 23:39

Dd1 is in 2nd year, going into 3rd. She is an intelligent and very hard working girl. She is one of the few in her class who always completes her homework. She has come top of most of her classes in exams, getting 100% in 4 subjects and high 90s in all others. They have just had their awards announced, for which there will be a ceremony. Dd hasn't won a single award, even in the subjects she got 100% in. The awards are for "effort" and "endeavour" and have been given to children who didn't do as well as dd in the subject. She is embarrassed and upset, as all her friends have won awards.
What is going on? We realise and have explained to her that it seems to be important today to try to encourage children who haven't done as well, despite working hard. But for 13yo dd, it feels like she has worked hard and done well, and it's not something to celebrate. Why are the school so afraid to give reward to children who are very capable and achieve good results? I'm not outraged or anything, I realise that her effort and achievements will eventually be their own reward, but I'm mildly miffed that her diligence and ability are to be ignored by the school. What message is the school sending to more able pupils? You don't count?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 05/06/2017 07:07

YABU At dd s college they gave awards out and they went to those who my dd knew put in the effort. She's lucky that she can achieve the same or better grades without that much effort.

Rudi44 · 05/06/2017 07:17

You mention her diligence but a student that gets 50% can be every bit as diligent as one who gets 100%. Surely if she is coming top of the class, getting lots of positive comments from school and lots of praise from home and she is as bright as you say she is then she can see that the awards are designed to motivate students who perhaps find it doesn't come quite so naturally.

beepbeepimasheep · 05/06/2017 07:21

Awards are given to the ones who need the encouragement to work.

user1491401693 · 05/06/2017 07:24

YANBU

At dds school there are two sets of awards.

Achievement and Endeavour.

Covers most bases.

KeepCalm · 05/06/2017 07:27

@ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs I could have written your post word for word. Same ages DD and exactly the same situation.

Again we encourage her and we asked how it worked. We only asked because we saw a friend's son being mentioned on FB getting six awards and we didn't even know there was an award ceremony Hmm He is academically exceptionally bright, as is DD but in other subjects.

She is polite, hard working, her appearance is neat & smart and her attendance is good.

Anyway. Who knows?

It just so happened that she has grown like a mushroom and has no clothes that fit her anymore so a shopping trip was her reward from us for an outstanding parents night & report card. AND we tell her all the time how proud we are of her.

Well done to your DD for being so hard working & grounded Star

Rudi44 · 05/06/2017 07:27

Sorry also, why assume the awards are random and meaningless? If some kid has to bust a gut to get a c or has all kinds of things going on in their life that you couldn't possibly know about and still manages to get themselves into school and get a B then great, that's amazing and every bit as worthy of celebration as a naturally bright child who always comes top of the class. And I say this as the parent of a bright and sporty DC, i would genuinely be happy for her to have to sit back and see others awarded for different types of achievement as long as I am telling her she did great.

claraschu · 05/06/2017 07:31

I think all awards like this should be abolished. I don't think they have any kind of a positive impact in the long run.

sashh · 05/06/2017 07:32

There were also special treats for the 'naughty' kids if they behaved for x amount of time. No thought given to the ones who were always well behaved.

You don't think getting a kid to not be disruptive gives no thought to well behaved?

Would you have preferred every lesson be disrupted?

RedSkyAtNight · 05/06/2017 07:32

Looking at this the other way .... my niece is naturally gifted at maths - she's one of those for whom it comes very easily and she really doesn't have to work at all. She is "top" year after year and as her school gives prizes for attainment, also gets prizes year after year. As far as I can see this is just giving her an award for being lucky enough to be good at something! I'd far rather it went to someone who bust a gut!

jamdonut · 05/06/2017 07:35

For some children, getting 100% actually wasn't t any effort. It's what they get every time without having to go the extra mile.

For others, they may have worked their socks off to get a lower mark.

Who is more deserving?

I expect your daughter's achievements are acknowledged in other ways through school.

MacarenaFerreiro · 05/06/2017 07:40

Our school recognises both. There is an awards ceremony where children who are top performers are recognised, along with the children who have the most "merit marks" for things like behaviour, effort and helping others.

LastSummerWine · 05/06/2017 07:42

But by the same token, some kids get 50% because they didnt put in enough effort, ds1 I'm looking at you. Why is everyone assuming the lower achieving kids have put in just as much if not more effort than the high achiever? It could go either way. The truth is no one really knows, except the parents perhaps how much effort each child has put it.

Groovee · 05/06/2017 07:49

In our school they have to be nominated by numerous teachers for an award. So DS who is shy never gets one as he doesn't get remembered despite being in the top sets and put forward for all subjects in Nat5. To be honest he would freak at the attention the award ceremony would give.

Dd is just as bright yet gets to know the teachers. Has had general awards all through high school (until this year).

Although the senior school awards are given on their prelim results. So she got the highest in a higher last year and the expected recipient's mum went mental that my Dd got the award.

NewRoadToHappinessxx · 05/06/2017 07:57

When I was at school they rewarded the same two top achievers all the time. I can still remember their names 'Rebecca Boroughs and Samanatha Neal' to the point at the last prize giving before we all left all of the parents said their names in unison when the headmasters prize was 'shared again this year'. Their parents were goveners, one owned a building company that sponsored the swimming pool. It's a good life lesson in reality because in life it's not what you do or how hard you work that gets rewards it's who you know. !!

Take her out for a nice meal and buy her a present and tell her that her results are reward enough xx

Var1234 · 05/06/2017 07:59

Re: the whole don't give rewards to those who can learn easily because they may not put in a lot of effort, isn't the obvious point that the work is supposed to be sufficiently differentiated that everyone is challenged?

DS deserves an award for the way he sits quietly day after day, week after week, year after year doing the work set for the class despite it being as repetitive and boring to him as being asked to write out the lyrics to twinkle, twinkle, little star 10 times a day for years.

queenofthebucket · 05/06/2017 08:02

when i was at school, prizes were for 'effort' and 'attainment'. therefore your dd would be likely to get one and so would those who had made great progress for effort.
Isn't effort and endeavour more or less the same thing?

Foslady · 05/06/2017 08:04

Has she in a nice way asked the teacher about the awards and how they are determined? A 'please Sir could you explain how they work?' And put the onus on them to explain why her high achievement has not been recognised?

Hoppinggreen · 05/06/2017 08:13

DD's primary school was very like this, she got the top score in year 6 in her SATS, scored very highly in the 11+ and got a scholarship to Private school. At her leavers assembly she was praised for helping to tidy the classroom!! At the same leaving assembly a boy who had been threatened with suspension the week before was given a good citizenship award.
Her Private Secondary school is very very different - achievement is recognised AS WELL AS effort.

Cafecat · 05/06/2017 08:20

I think if you have a child who is consistently getting top marks it's easy to presume that they're in line for a prize, but you have no idea how many other children are also achieving those marks in the other classes. Your DD is unlikely to be the only one. Maybe the dept feel that a particular child has a hidden gift in a subject and is only my just realising this? Aptitude doesn't always translate into top marks, particularly if there are SEN involved.

kesstrel · 05/06/2017 08:27

I feel very torn about this. What I wouldn't do, though, is what our local school does: hold the awards ceremony (even though many of them are given for effort) in the evening, and only invite those receiving awards, plus their parents. The awards are effectively kept 'secret' from the rest of the school. What a message to send about academic achievement: that it's something to keep quiet about!

Addley · 05/06/2017 08:30

My senior school didn't as far as I remember really do effort prizes. What it did do was two parallel systems of achievement awards! There was the prizegiving, big fancy end-of-year thing where all the parents were invited and the mayor handed out the year prizes (based on end-of-year exam results) and the subject prizes. Then in addition, there was the medal-giving, which was done in a school assembly and involved giving out medals for specific things e.g. in first year I won the junior art medal; these were pinned on to your blazer and worn all of the next year. Some of them were quite old.

Headofthehive55 · 05/06/2017 08:30

In my experience, teachers seem to actively dislike children who try hard and do well. They are generally more keen on "evening out inequality" and "raising the achievements of the lesser able"
They presume achieving means you've put no effort in as you are able (suits their narrative) and you somehow you don't need praise.

Then sports day comes along - but here we reward achievement - first prize to the one who won the race not the one who looked like they were trying hardest!

My daughter has had similar with music certificates she's gained - handed out to her in the corridor, not presented.

I hear you op. YANBU.

Theimpossiblegirl · 05/06/2017 08:36

In my experience, teachers seem to actively dislike children who try hard and do well.

Well I've never seen this. I'm pretty sure most teachers want children to work hard and do well.

TheDowagerCuntess · 05/06/2017 08:44

For some children, getting 100% actually wasn't t any effort. It's what they get every time without having to go the extra mile.
*
For others, they may have worked their socks off to get a lower mark.

*
Who is more deserving?

What about the kids who get 100% because they worked hard - not because it comes naturally to them?

They're just as deserving as the ones who worked their socks off and got a lower mark.

OneGreyElephantBalancing · 05/06/2017 08:45

Used to hate this stuff at school. I see the same for my daughter now.

I was neither achieving well enough academically to get any recognition or self esteem boost. Nor were my hard woking efforts, good enough^^ to get the effort awards as others appeared to try harder or had parents on the pta. It's hard in a big class.

Result is shit for esteem.