To be a bit annoyed about school awards?

[ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs]

Dd1 is in 2nd year, going into 3rd. She is an intelligent and very hard working girl. She is one of the few in her class who always completes her homework. She has come top of most of her classes in exams, getting 100% in 4 subjects and high 90s in all others. They have just had their awards announced, for which there will be a ceremony. Dd hasn't won a single award, even in the subjects she got 100% in. The awards are for "effort" and "endeavour" and have been given to children who didn't do as well as dd in the subject. She is embarrassed and upset, as all her friends have won awards.
What is going on? We realise and have explained to her that it seems to be important today to try to encourage children who haven't done as well, despite working hard. But for 13yo dd, it feels like she has worked hard and done well, and it's not something to celebrate. Why are the school so afraid to give reward to children who are very capable and achieve good results? I'm not outraged or anything, I realise that her effort and achievements will eventually be their own reward, but I'm mildly miffed that her diligence and ability are to be ignored by the school. What message is the school sending to more able pupils? You don't count?

Not strictly linked, but just had to say - I hate 'effort grades'. On reports and the like, I mean. I say this as a teacher, and as someone who used to get termly 'effort grades' at secondary school.

I just don't think it's possible to measure someone's effort. Sure, you can see the results of extra effort - improved results, for example - but you can't judge someone's effort.

As Addley said, I always got the highest effort grades in the subjects I was good at naturally (we got attainment grades too, so the link was clear), but I can honestly say now I didn't put in the highest level of effort in English (which I was naturally good at) to get those highest attainment grades, but I had to work damn harder in others areas to get the higher attainment grades. Yet there was no differentiation in the grades awarded.

I would advise your daughter not to be too concerned (I know it's easier said than done). There will be other rewards and achievements to gain, even if she has to wait for those - delayed gratification. I know it's not easy at the moment, but the time will come when her effort and hard work will pay off.

Your child causes no problems. Gets on with her work and didn't get an award. Resulting in you being pissed off, which is fully understandable.
However that child who got it for effort might have had a lot going on his/her personal life. Eg mum could be really ill, but They still manage to give their all to work and behave impeccably.
It does however piss me right off. When the same children are given recognition all the time. I think I speak for most parents when I say that

I promise you, I am not encouraging dd to feel hard done by! I was exactly the same as she is and I have told my dc what my mum told me- that being smart is just another genetic idiosyncrasy, like having blue eyes, and it just matters what you do with it. We are all about effort. But dd works really hard. I find it hard to tell her that of course she doesn't deserve an award.
Again, we are not really very upset by this, and as accepts it fully as "the way things are". I just wonder if it's the right way for things to be. It won't affect her, as you've all pointed out. She likes to achieve and will continue to make the effort for self pride. But I just wonder if it really helps anyone. And I feel a bit sad that more able kids are made to feel invisible.
Var, I think that's sad that your ds hasn't been given his certificate. That's exactly what I mean, it's as though it's something not to be mentioned.

YANBU, especially as it obviously means something to DD. Has she tried telling her form tutor how she feels?

Effort awards annoy me, DS is year 8 and his school do weekly awards in house time, he got an effort award for his RE homework once, he'd done it on the bus to school, for weeks after everytime I mentioned homework I got 'nah, I'll just wing it. I do my best work on the bus'. Dbro, who is 6th form at the same school, is actively trying to make it to the end of term without getting a single award because "I don't want people thinking I actually have to put effort into being this awesome". I suspect they have both totally missed the point of the awards.

YANBU It's good to reward effort as well as achievement but to miss out your DD sounds unfair.

I never thought I would care about this type of stuff until one of my DCs didn't get an award despite being extremely polite, hardworking and top in everything except French and PE. It was a small private school and all the kids of alumni got awards. I could have let it all go but there was one very disruptive kid who had got so violent towards the staff on two occasions that they had had to call the police out and even he got an award. (His parents had donated a whole new classroom and all the computers to go with it.) 😡😡😡

My son wasn't too fussed about it but I thought it was very dodgy.

Please don't assume we are all torn up about this, it really doesn't matter that much, I understand that. And I really do understand that effort should be rewarded. But the assumption seems to do be that high achievers make less effort than everyone else, and that isn't necessarily true. Please be assured that dd is fine (if a bit grudging) about it, and I am certainly not encouraging her to get all bent out of shape about it, it's really just as musing on my part that academic achievement is apparently no longer a good thing in the eyes of the school. And I do wonder just how much these awards mean to the pupils who get them, it seems as but patronising to me. Dd did also mention that she could have been considered for any of the other contributions she makes, as she is an active member of lots of other clubs at the school, so she's not just some quiet straight A student. Ah well, maybe iabu, and I'm not too upset to hear it, just a little bamboozled at the way things are.

Personally, I don't think it is right to ignore academic success any more than it would be to ignore sporting success. Then again, both things are boring for everyone who has to listen if you go on and in about them, and it's not unknown for those dc who do exceptionally well on the sports field to swagger at little through school life and then be stunned when they leave school to find that the world doesn't think they are special or even particularly interesting! So, maybe the academic dc are at least spared that shock??

You have a point there Var1234! At my school it was all about the sports teams- they were the cool kids. Always being bigged up, the academics among us were the geeks! Kept our heads down, couldn't wait to leave school and move on!

You have a point there Var1234! At my school it was all about the sports teams- they were the cool kids. Always being bigged up, the academics among us were the geeks! Kept our heads down, couldn't wait to leave school and move on!

We are in the US - have been in public and several private schools and there has never been an awards ceremony. You don't really do it in life/work so why is there an awards ceremony in schools (other than allowing Bertie Wooster to win the prize for scripture knowledge at his private school)?

I feel for your daughter, OP, but at least there is a reward for her hard work - she gets good results. There are probably kids in her class who worked very hard, scored quite low, but didn't get the award for effort - so they are feeling pretty bad. or a kid who was barely holding it together most of the year but saw the prize for behaviour going to another child. I really don't see the point of these award ceremonies.

Don't get me wrong, dd is smart enough to see through it, but she has a real sense of justice/injustice and she is a bit upset that her efforts are not recognized.

Good Christ she better learn now and develop rhino skin.

She already gets top marks.

She better not pick a profession where you word full on giving 1000% effort every day and get fuck all recognition other than the inadequate wage you're given.

Injustice over not being given a certificate or a book token or what not. If she is always top of the class would you expect her to win every time? No? So maybe she'll get hers next time.

That's the point. I don't honestly think she will ever get an award. Hell, that's ok, as we've come to realize that said awards are meaningless. But I'm guessing the other kids are smart enough to realize that too. In which case, what is the point of them?

But freeniki if you worked in sales where there was a monthly prize (e.g. a weekend in a country house hotel) for the person with the highest sales, and you really put in the effort and won the prize, how would you feel when the company gave the weekend away to someone who'd sold less than you? Cheated, perhaps? Or sanguine that there are people out there who work just as hard as you did and will never get the chance of a reward?

Encouraging everyone to do their best is one thing, giving awards for something that cannot be truly objectively measured is ridiculous. How can effort be truly differentiated from one child to the next? Just because the OP's daughter achieves high grades, it does not mean she isn't busting her gut to achieve and maintain these grades. Her effort may be just as much or even greater than another child who appears to have made some improvement in a subject or in their behaviour. Exactly how the schools can robustly measure the change in effort and compare across students is beyond me.

I am all for encouraging effort and instilling inner motivation. I just think rewarding effort in what amounts to an arbitrary way, is unfair and counterproductive.

YANBU.

When I was a child there were awards for children who did well academically, and awards for those who put in extra effort, 'good conduct type awards, as well as awards for sport, and everyone who passed an instrument or drama exam used to cross the stage as well. The whole thing took at least a couple of hours though and children used to pass out while waiting to get their prizes.

The DC just had their 8th grade awards for middle school The children who came top in subjects got awards, but there were awards for those who showed the most imagination in linking science and math to the real world, the IB awards for 'balanced', 'communicator' etc. the special needs students got awards, every child got a certificate of promotion to the next grade (and children have been stopped from moving up to the next grade so this is a real 'thing'), and many got awards for reading points, and having good physical fitness.

But we're not talking about working in sales Var1234.

She is in school and I dont work in sales. For the most part you dont get prizes just for doing your school work or the job you're paid to do. You dont work hard at school to get a prize, that isnt the point. Life just isnt like that with rewards and prizes.

You do your school work or you fail and dont get anywhere. You do your job or you get sacked. You dont generally get rewarded for doing things you're supposed to.

I might add I was never a 100% top student, my grades were pretty ordinary and yet I made it into a top profession: I am a solicitor.

This child is 13. She isnt absolutely destined for greatness at this second in time any more than the lower achieving students are destined for mediocre lives and jobs. Alot can happen in the next 5 years.

Exactly freeniki. You mentioned the lack of recognition in your job, but this is about the op's dd and about the reward system in schools in general. It's not about preparing DC to work in your specific industry.
I agree though that adult work life is much less fair than school life in general. Hopefully that rhino skin grows gradually as dc mature into adulthood.

By that reasoning, FreeNiki, this might be the pinnacle of her achievement. And it will go unrewarded, despite everyone else getting random rewards.
Agree with you that the whole awards thing is unnecessary. But if they are going to give them shouldn't there be SOME award for achievement?
A lot of pps have assumed that as dd does well she has already been rewarded, and in a way that's true. But the smart kids don't have it easy, as some seem to assume. They get jeered at, made fun of for being smart on a daily basis. Dd also wears glasses so is a bit of a stereotypical geek. She copes amazingly with it- she has a sharp tongue and plenty of wit that ensure she doesn't get bullied, but it isn't necessarily seen as a blessing at her age. It would be nice if there was an upside to it that didn't involve waiting years.

They get jeered at, made fun of for being smart on a daily basis. Dd also wears glasses so is a bit of a stereotypical geek. She copes amazingly with it- she has a sharp tongue and plenty of wit that ensure she doesn't get bullied,

It all sounds very stereotypical to me. Teasing the smart kids daily , proud to be dunces. Shrugs.

I'm not sure I understand your last point, freeniki? Being belittled is ok as long as it's happening to a child with a relatively high IQ??

We had a good mix when I was at school 'minor' and 'major' academic awards for high achievers, then at least the same number of named awards after old teachers/famous ex pupils given for effort/endeavour then two sporty ones, an art one and an music one.

Very rarely pupils did get more than one to recognise exceptional achievement plus effort for example but it worked very well overall.

It would be nice if there was an upside to it that didn't involve waiting years.

again that is life.

You work years at school, years at uni, years in a job, full of ups and downs.

Then maybe you have settle and have DC and that involves years of hard work and you dont get rewarded for that either.

Life is what it is. You don't generally get rewarded for living it.

They ought to either scrap the prize giving or give everyone a prize. Everyone at school will have achieved something no matter how little.

I'm not sure I understand your last point, freeniki? Being belittled is ok as long as it's happening to a child with a relatively high IQ??

No it just doesnt ring true. All the smart kids get teased daily, DD stereotypical with glasses ....that makes a target for bullying and identifies her as a geek as if no thick kids wear glasses

Sounds all very convenient and cliched and on top of that DD didnt get a prize.

One of my friends didn't have a single day off school his entire time at secondary school. The attendance prize in the final year (we only did a prize giving after exams in Y11, just for y11 kids) went to someone who'd improved their attendance.
At my school, we reward effort and achievement. Only thing I don't like is that depts aren't permitted to discuss beforehand, so in a worst case scenario one good (but not exceptional) kid won 7 of the available achievement awards because he was a nice kid achieving highly. We had other bright kids, but you wouldn't have known it from that prize giving!

That's the other thing. A student who is bright and achieving well can pick up almost every award, if it is done on straight results.