To force DH into going to the optician/GP's- (i.e make an appointment for him like his Mother!!)

[Whatwankeryisthis]

My DH has had a swollen eyelid for a couple of days, getting progressively worse.

Today I've had a good look and there are two ulcer looking things on the underside of his eyelid.

He's determined to just leave it and "see" (sorry!!) if they'll go away.

My opinion is "it's IN your EYE!!!!! If it's still there tomorrow you need to go and have it looked at, YOUR EYE!!!"

AIBU?? I haven't seen a doctor in a few years, either for myself or the DC so I certainly don't March anyone to the GP for minor things but I really don't think I'd be taking my vision/eye health for granted if it was me.

Has anyone experienced this in their eye?

There's so many HCPs on here. Stick a picture on so they can scare the crap out of him diagnose him and make him go.

Ooh I'd love a bit of crap-scaring!!

This maybe isn't hugely clear, apologies if not.

He's a grown man. If he can't be arsed - his choice.

Actually generally apologies just because it's generally boak!!

I would get him an appointment. A friend has recently had a similar thing and she wears hard contact lenses. Apparently she wasn't de-proteinising them although she was cleaning them scrupulously.

You can get cold sores in your eye and They can cause scarring of your cornea which will lead to permanent vision changes only treated by a corneal transplant

It's up to you but no I would not make an appointment for my DH as he isn't an infant. If he can't prioritise his own health then it's his problem. I also remember his DM saying that now I was married to him it was my responsibility to look after any medical issues like making sure he got appointments etc . I pointed out that it was not my job as he wasn't a child.

Let him know what happens if you leave things to fester etc and offer support but otherwise let him make the appointment.

OP- leave it.
It' s his eye out.

Stick that picture on sporner corner and one of them will gleefully describe how to lance it with a sterilised needle.....that should get him to the dr!

OP, you have my sympathy. I have once told DH that he needs to make an appointment for my sake rather than his. He did (irritatingly, things got much better once he had an appointment).

Saying his health, his problem isn't true - if your partner has a long term health issue (whether self inflicted or not), let me assure you it will affect you too.

Looks like chalazion cyst- check patient information on moorfields

Optician will look and confirm diagnosis and treatment
They can refer if acute treatment needed
They normally resolve by themselves

Are you a HCP user?

My sil nearly went blind because of something like this.

In this circumstance, yes, I'd make an appointment. We're not just talking about an appointment for a routine eye exam, in which case I'd say butt out, but something that seems quite serious.

My DH recently complained of feeling unwell. This is a man who is never sick, so the fact he was even mentioning it was a huge red flag. He was going to "wait and see how things went" before deciding whether or not to even think about going to the doctor. I took matters into my own hands and made an appointment with a GP for later that day.

That appointment saved his life. A few days in hospital and it was sorted out. Had he left it, things might not be so rosy today.

The thing is, even if you make the appointment, how will you get him to go, this is the problem I have with my teenage son.

I've done it in the past. DH just has some weird thing with medical stuff. He tried to wait out one of his testicles swelling to four times it's size last year despite nearly dying from a related issue as a teenager.

It's just medical stuff he really doesn't need pushing or to be "mothered" for anything else.

I'm not medically trained but I'd be making an appointment that looks nasty. You don't fuck about when it comes to your sight.

I don't understand this need for a DW or DH to have to make an appointment on their behalf unless they are physically incapable of doing so. If he needs you to make the appointment for him to go then he just wants you to play 'mother' and I would be having a serious talk about this.

On the other hand if he really doesn't want to go then making an appointment won't make any difference and just creates another no-show.

The thing is, even if you make the appointment, how will you get him to go
Generally, once an appointment is made, a man will go. It is having the initial contact with the people that men have the problem with.

I would, although only after a serious chat about him doing it himself. If his health goes downhill then it will affect you and the dc's. but I'm a lp who goes to the gp for everything.

I would make an appointment for him, yes.

If he needs you to make the appointment for him to go then he just wants you to play 'mother'
Doctors and hospitals are 'scary' places for men. It is a system and environment they are unfamiliar with. They probably have bad memories of health staff from when they were children, which is probably the last time a lot of them would have had contact with health services.
Think about it - women have regular contact - they have the babies, they get called for smear tests, they (generally) deal with the children having their vaccinations and other childhood ailments. What contact do men have? None, and when they do its with a sour-faced receptionist who probably scolds him because he doesn't know how the system works because its changed since the last time he came.

I get these fairly often op. It's a cyst with a long name that I can't remember. They hurt like hell every time you blink so I don't know why he hasn't been checked out sooner.

In my case it's caused by blepharitis which is set off by my hayfever. Sometimes they can go away on their own but I usually need antibiotics.

Tell him to get seen as they can become serious if left untreated. He needs antibiotic eye drops and possibly antibiotics too to get rid of them.

Tell him my GP has told me to always get it checked out when I get one, even though I can't tell when it will go away by itself. Don't mess around with eye problems because your sight is priceless.

scary place for men no I don't agree. If they are perfectly capable of picking up the phone to arrange an appointment to buy or arrange anything they are perfectly capable of phoning GP and asking for an appointment. I would be very disappointed in my DH if he could not do something like that for himself.

I think Dings point is interesting about women having more medical experience then men down to stuff like smears and all the pregnancy related stuff.

I don't get DH's issue he's managed a schizophrenia diagnosis for over a decade including seeing and appointments with the GP and MH team regularly. It's just any physical ailment or injury he's crap with.