To think it's really annoying when people tell me I don't need to lose weight when I'm fat

[Littlemissaccountant]

I'm overweight. I look overweight. To be slim I'd need to lose two stone.

I'm 5ft7 and 12 stone. That makes me medically around 1 stone overweight and to be honest even if I was 11 stone I'd still look chubby. I'm an entire 3 stone off looking slim.

It's annoying when people say I look slim and healthy and I've 'lost so much weight'. I really haven't lost anything. I'm overweight. I don't have a nice figure. I know people mean to be nice but AIBU to find it annoying? A compliment is only a compliment if it's true.

YANBU. I've lost about 6.5stone and am still classed as overweight (by about .5 stone), everyone says I don't need to lose weight as I'm 'skinny enough' but to be in the mid range of healthy I need to lose another 1.5st.

I'm 5'11 and about 12.8st now.

If the subject of weight comes up, even only fleetingly, it would take a huge effort for most people to say ' yes, you are really overweight, you'd look much better if you lost it'.

Even if the person they are talking to is morbidly obese!

So they just sat ' nah, you're fine, you look great' because it's easier, or seen to be polite.

It's a very British thing. People from many other countries are much, much more direct.

I guess they're just trying to be nice. Do they just say out of the blue "you look slim and healthy" or is in the midst of a conversation about trying to lose weight? If they think you look heavy surely it would be rude to say so. Equally if you're saying you'd lost some weight and they said nothing in response you might be hurt too? Weight is such a sensitive subject sometimes people say the wrong thing while trying not to cause offence.

Yes, I agree that people just say it as they think it's the polite thing to do. I think it's more helpful to say something encouraging, like "yes, you're looking good" etc.

Yabu you are only 9lbs overweight so I doubt you do look fat.

People don't want to be accused of "fat-shaming" or have bought in to the "healthy at any size" bollocks.

If you don't want people to comment don't mention it.

You're a big fat fatty. Feel better?

I'm fat. Clinically overweight. I am doing WW online but not telling anyone because of the " you don't need to loose weight" comments. I do. I've seen pictures of myself and I'm struggling to reach my toes.

YANBU. So many people have lost sight of what weight humans are supposed to be (taking into account genetic variations obviously) that they seem to think that unless you can grab handfuls of blubber then you're "skinny". I also think, as PPs have said, it's about politeness too.

I agree that YABU. If you don't want people commenting, don't tell them you're dieting. IMO if you are 12 stone and 5 ft 7, I doubt you look that big tbh. And you certainly don't need to lose 3 stone. (IMO.)

If you are going to share stuff with people, then you will need to expect comments. Just ignore them.

Yeah but if we said the truth people would mon about how rude people are... People complain when the gp tells them the truth (I know cause I sometimes go to gp meetings and hear some of the complaints, not saying it's you) so I guess the rest of use just feel it's safer not to go there.

Mon-moan

I'm 5'6 and weigh just under 9 stone so I'd think that 12 stone at 5'7 would be a lot bigge.

They are being polite. Just say you would feel better and hope to lose some weight. Or don't mention it at all.

As PP said it takes a brave friend to agree that you are fat.

Good luck. I lost two stone ten years ago and bar a few pounds on and off I've kept it off so it's perfectly possible.

I agree littlemiss

Its fucking irritating

I am an inch taller and a stone heavier than you

And i have one friend in particular who does it, she also tries to feed me and gets quite upset when i refuse

She is the size of one of my legs....

This is total tosh. No one blurts those comments out without you making a mention of your diet. If you don't like people talking about your weight how about next time you shush and talk about the weather

I wish people were just direct, honest and truthful. All this people pleasing pisses me off. Its probably why half the population is obese - because no one wants admit it.

quite

I have no idea about any of the OPs friends

But the friend i have mentioned above absolutely mentions it

I am not on a diet so don't discuss my imaginary diet

Ah I am with you!! I am so sick of my friends ealing me I look great and don't need to worry about my weight.
I am about 4.5 stone overweight and they are both slim, one a size 8 and one a size 10. The moaning about how they need to loose at least 5lbs does my head in. They won't wear tshirts because their arms are too big and when I say, who cares, I've got my arms out and I'm a lot bigger than you.. that's when the comments start!
I'm a size 16.. I know I need to lose weight but I definitely don't moan about it to them.. but I always get comments when I'm responding to them moaning about their weight!

Unless you are very apple shaped then you won't look that fat. What's your waist measurement?

I've been told by two people that I wouldn't look right if I lost weight. This was even said to me when I was 16 stone. YANBU.

yabu - they are just trying to be nice.

equally yanbu - everyone likes a moan about dieting and their weight can you now only get sympathy for losing weight if you are 60 stones plus?!

It's just generally everyone tells me my figure is lovely. Apart from my parents who are honest.

Im apple shape. Im also 5ft 5 and weighed 11 stone 0.2lbs this morning. I could do with losing 1 - 1.5 stone. Although people seem to think Im dead skinny. Or at least they give me that impression. Logging back into My Fitness Pal this week. Need to get it down a bit. I was 10st 9 3 months ago.

Even if you were at the right weight it can be so easy to put it back on again so you are always having to watch what you eat. I know some people who are size 6-8 and they watch what they eat. Simply because they know what will happen if they dont.