To think it's really annoying when people tell me I don't need to lose weight when I'm fat

[Littlemissaccountant]

I'm overweight. I look overweight. To be slim I'd need to lose two stone.

I'm 5ft7 and 12 stone. That makes me medically around 1 stone overweight and to be honest even if I was 11 stone I'd still look chubby. I'm an entire 3 stone off looking slim.

It's annoying when people say I look slim and healthy and I've 'lost so much weight'. I really haven't lost anything. I'm overweight. I don't have a nice figure. I know people mean to be nice but AIBU to find it annoying? A compliment is only a compliment if it's true.

Other people's weight is a bit of a minefield conversation wise, so I wouldn't hold it against people for getting it wrong sometimes. Also I doubt you look that overweight at 12 stone and 5 foot 7 - I'm two inches taller than you and not much lighter, and I'm a healthy BMI. Plus some people who are bigger do have lovely shapes!

YANBU.

I went on a Fitbit fuelled weight loss fit in October 2015.

I've lost about 3 stones and have gone down from a 22 to a 16....ish.

I'm still noticeably overweight, but I am no longer in the obese category.

After a problem with my feet meant I had to reduce the amount of exercise and quit the gym, I plateau-ed and have actually put on a bit of weight.

When I say this out loud, I get what you get OP.

You look fine, you're fine as you are, you're small enough etc.

I hate it. I want to lose more. I need to lose about another couple of stones to reach my ideal weight, but when they hear that, they get louder.

I really need to get my weight loss mojo back.

Its so tough tbh. People often don't want to hear the truth so it's just easier to say no no you look fine and not get into all the you said I'm fat drama. Family are more honest.

It doesn't matter what anyone else says though does it - its how you feel about yourself and your weight. If you are not happy then what anyone else says is insignificant. I am 5ft 8 and anything over 10 stone and I feel horrible about my body. That is my preference.

Lose two stone then! And refuse to discuss your weight with anybody.

You clearly know what your 'happy weight' is OP. And for what it's worth I think these people are just being nice , I wouldn't call a friend fat either , what right have I got to judge anybody's weight? It's none of my business.

I'm over my happy weight.
I want to lose a stone to get back to happy weight.
Its none of anybody else's business what my happy weight is.

Nod and smile and ignore anybody who lies to you.

My most truthful friend is supremely fit (and underweight) - I vaguely pay attention to her !

YANBU but as others have said, the easy thing to say (especially to someone who is only a stone or so overweight and not obese) is "you look fine as you are" and it is difficult to find the right words to encourage someone on a weight loss journey without implying that they look awful as they are!

My experience is that it's actually not just people being polite. In most cases maybe it is. In others people seem to actively want you to be bigger than them so that they don't have to address their own weight issues or so there's always someone around who's more of an obvious fuck up than they are.

As i've lost weight it's a definite thing that a couple of people are pushing me to eat more and telling me I'm fine as I am. They're slim. For some reason they need me to be the fat member of the friendship group. No idea what it's all really about but i habe every right to lose weight if that's what suits me. I'm polite but firm about refusing the crap they try and push on me.

I agree people say this when they want you to stay fat or not be slimmer than them.

Envy? It could be that they don't want you to be slimmer and fitter than them.

Or..... If you're in proportion, at 5'7" and 12 stone you may well have a "sexy" figure with big boobs/hips and a smaller waist that some people genuinely find appealing. Maybe your clothes are flattering, too, contradicting the scales.