To get annoyed with this way of making arrangements.

[Sunshinegirls]

Whenever we make any arrangements with any of DH family, they always say they will arrive "mid afternoon" or "early evening" or "late morning". This really pisses me off! I want to know an actual time so I can organise things! What time does "mid afternoon" etc even mean anyway? Am I being ridiculous? It seems to me that they consider their time to be more important than mine.

Let your DH organise for them.

Oh yrs i hate this too

I have a childless friend who often arranges to come over but never says when so we're stuck waiting for her to grace us with her presence
We went out once and i got a snotty text saying she was outside out house !

It doesn't matter if I organise or DH, the answer is always the same.

It would annoy me.

I'm laid back so if DH's parents say they'll come just before lunch, I know they'll arrive between 12 and 1 but that's because they're creatures of habit and eat their lunch / tea at the same time.

Beyond that I want a time or a time period e.g. 430/5

That would boil my piss bigchris

Yanbu.

I mean even an hour's leeway is sufficient but otherwise you are basically staying in all day as if you were awaiting a delivery. Mid afternoon cab mean anything from say 2-6 depending on a persons routine/wake time.

If I've been up with kids since say half seven one o clock.is mid afternoon.

Late night and a long lie in followed by bath and breakfast well 3/4 o clock is more like mid afternoon.

AT least give a rough time

Yanbu. It is for their own convenience so they don't have to stick to a time. I have friends like this, it drives me mad.

That would wind me up. The ILs used to say we will come 'after lunch' whatever that meant or 'early evening'.
I used to moan to DH that a time would be sooo much better, but he never said anything.

It doesn't matter if I organise or DH, the answer is always the same.

Yes but it won't be your problem if he is organising/communicating with them.

I am a big fan of a text saying 'just leaving' from people when they set off.

It did

Can't you leave him to wait in and fuck off out to go run your errands. Tell then you will be back for tea (gives you a scope til 9pm)

Same here...lunchtime, or late morning is always the answer we get from DH's family. I think it's due to my DFil being finickity and bringing a box of leads/chargers, tablets etc in a perfectly packed car. Least they visit though. I agree with it being annoying, but it takes all sorts to make a world!

Surely you just say "could you be more specific with the time as I need to pop out"

Oh, and they ring when at a certain motorway junction about 15 minutes away, and tell us the exact ETA. "11.13 ETA!".

It affects us both Sally as we both have to wait around for them to show up. Otherwise i would totally let him deal with it and try not to let it bother me. Anytime I have said to turn up at a specific time, for a dinner for instance, they are late anyway! Makes no difference. Their time is more bloody important. Annoyed me way more when the kids were younger and we had a stricter routine. I try and be more relaxed about it now as there's worse things in the world but it still manages to set off my inner psycho! I'm glad to hear it's not just me this behaviour drives crazy though!

we both have to wait around for them to show up.

He can wait in on his own, he's a big boy. You go do your thing, get back "mid afternoon" like they said they will arrive "mid afternoon" and if there already there? Well their son isn't perfectly capable of hosting his parents for a while on his own.

is!

Sally, they come to see us all, as a family. It would be weird if I went out. I see what you are getting at though if the situation was that they were just casually popping round.

God YANBU.

My Step-MIL is like this. She will say she is popping over then give a laundry list of errands she will be running first, so you never know when to expect her.

I have started saying we are going out at X time so if she isn't there by then she will miss us.

Well if they come to see you all the should come at a time when you will all be there. Perhaps a visit or two where's you aren't there when they arrive will reinforce the idea for them

That is one of my biggest bugbears! Unfortunately DH's family are all like it, him included

My shittyness must be rubbing off as they have started to get a bit better e.g. if MiL is coming up she will now tell me what time she's leaving. I know the drive is almost 2hrs with some heavy traffic so can guesstimate when she's arriving.

If they are coming to see you both as a family then you need to get them to tell you a time so you are there. There's no way I'd be waiting in all day for someone to arrive, not even my own family.

Maybe I need to up my shittyness bumbumtaloo!

YANBU. My brother and SIL do this all the time. They are often late for plans with a specific time, so if plans are made for 'mid morning' you know they are likely to arrive nearer noon than say 10:30, which just means more hanging around. I try to pin them down whenever we make plans but it's practically impossible because they will more than likely be late anyway, so you can't win!

I also have a friend who will call and say she is running a bit late and will be there an hour after the time you planned to meet, which means she would basically still be at home by pretty much the time you arranged to meet rather than held up in traffic or just running a bit behind. That's another story, sorry for hijacking your thread OP but this has just made me think about it and annoyed me!