To think this is a possibility?

[isthisdooable]

First child due later this year. Husband earns £28k before tax and I earn £34k before tax. Take home about £1900 each as I also have a student loan to pay off.

I do not intend on going back full time after maternity leave and doing the sums now suggests that childcare costs are going to take up a huge chunk of my wage anyway.

Do you think we could survive on just my husband's wage and then I'll go back to work in around 3 years time?

Some further info:
Mortgage: fixed at £920 until 2022
Council tax and utilities: £200
Other bills (phones, life insurance, pet insurance, TV): approx £245

I guess that what I'm really asking is if other people have managed to survive on one wage with all the day to day costs that life throws at you? We're not expecting holidays and treats but I'd also prefer to be able to do things as a family from time to time.

I have no idea about family allowance or anything so can't add things like that into my calculations.

Thanks in advance!

I think you'd be better going back PT tbh.

The teaching world changes quickly and you might find your qualifications rendered useless.

@mynotsoperfectlife not sure how my English degree and PGCE would become useless to be totally honest.

Because isthisdooable as I've said, teaching moves on very very fast.

If the choice is between you and someone just out of university, or someone with recent experience, they will plump for them.

But clearly you didn't actually want any opinions!

Oh OP do go back to work and get some spending money and some brain work. My DH is a policeman and it is painfully lonely, especially at weekends when he is doing long shifts and I don't have much money to take the DC out (am on mat leave and dropping to SMP so it's tight). Nobody wants to meet up at weekends, you'll die of boredom.

More than happy for opinions and as you may have seen, if you've read the thread, I am taking these on board entirely but considering 5 years ago a degree and PGCE could land you a teaching position, I don't believe my qualifications will be rendered useless, which is what you said.

Agree that I may be too expensive and lack recent experience though. Think I will most likely see how things pan out and see if I can go back 0.4 or 0.6 with a bit of tutoring on the side.

@OuchBollocks haha - it's an interesting life, isn't it, being married to a copper? He's also MET, which ties us to the mega expensive 'London fringe' area.

Currently TSG too so the shifts are totally erratic and unpredictable!

Is your husband on a response team? In a lot of teams he could always submit a flexible working application and he could go PT (as he's the lower earner) or do some compressed hours.

Ah TSG oh well no PT for him then! Back to borough?

Well yes OP but if you can't get a teaching position then what real use is a teaching qualification? That was my point. I have the same qualifications as you; circumstances meant I gave up work and boy do I regret it!

Thanks an interesting one: we spoke about this the other day. I'm not sure how it works and neither is my husband to be fair but one thing that would be hugely beneficial would be if he could have one set day off every week.

For instance, if I went back Mon-Wed and we could guarantee that DH had every Monday off, we would only ever need two days of childcare a week.

Do you think they would consider that sort of arrangement? Fully expecting a no and obviously totally understand that as it's an important public service and we're not more important than that!

Oh, cross post @OuchBollocks. Poor thing would be bored out of his mind back on borough!

There's nothing stopping him submitting an application for a flexible pattern that has every Monday as a work free day. He'll have to write a years shift roster and submit it for consideration. They have to consider it but don't have to grant it, if he wouldn't be meeting operational needs. It can't hurt to try, the worst that happens is that he's told no, and he'll still be on full time pay if the answer is yes.

He can apply even on TSG! I was just joking that it's a definite no, they have a rep for mega overtime culture but suspect that's changing somewhat. Nothing to lose like I say.

That's a really good idea.

You're certainly right though, having something to do outside of the house and more disposable income is, most likely, the better route to go down. Plus, I love my job and have consistently been graded 'outstanding' since the beginning of my career so think my school will do what they can to keep me.

Thanks for your help - pregnancy brain is not making these things easy to consider in my own head!

After Manchester, the overtime has been INSANE but that only tends to happen after an awful incident.

I am a SAHM, DH on a similar salary. Slightly higher, but 2 DCs. My lack of financial contribution has caused resentment, I feel unsupported in the home. I feel I can't leave because I have no income. When we made this decision 4 years ago I never would have dreamed of it being like it is now. Think very carefully, the money is doable, bit won't be very fun. Make sure you think very carefully about everything else too. I have so enjoyed my time with my babies, but I really wish I hadn't stopped working.

Fellow teacher in v similar situation. I know too many people who've struggled to get back in to secondary English teaching, even after just a three or four year break, so decided against it. I think employers can be prejudice against returning mums, when the alternative is an uber keen (and cheaper) NQT. I know that's illegal, but I've seen it happen in schools over and over again. I am returning 0.5 which seems like a good compromise.

Don't forget that, if you don't return, there's always the option of exam marking or supply work as well as tutoring.

Re Your partner's shifts: DP in same situation. No two weeks are ever the same and he is often away for the night, so childcare planning is a nightmare. DP has agreed with work that he will have one guaranteed week day off, but in doing so, will lose any weekend time off.

One thing to consider OP, is that a nursery might want a full year contract but many childminders offer term time only contracts (because they know they can fill the places with their school run children)

not a teacher, but I went back part time, dh also police/tsg/on secondment ...you have to be super super organised with child care, do not rely on his shift pattern for a single thing because Something Will Come Up. I know you know that, but once you have childcare to factor in, it's no longer getting cross about a missed party/meal, going without or on your own, it's just insurmountable.

Best solution for us was a surrogate Granny type, she came to the house and would cover early or late, she cooked for the children and would leave stuff for dh and I if we had both been working, she was fabulous! Also she'd go for a daunder with the dogs and she even housesat for us when we were away.

What's the term on your mortgage? When we decided to drop to one income, we asked the bank to extend the mortgage to the longest they'd allow, which dropped our monthly repayment a chunk. Hopefully we'll make it up once we return to two incomes.

And you can pay into the tax free childcare scheme as soon as they are born so could amass a little buffer to pay for the first few months back. Every little helps!

It would be far better for you to both go part time - I know people in the police force who have managed to get 2 set days a week shift (although v long shifts), if out could get the other days, you could avoid paying for childcare but keep both careers (and pensions) going, give you both a break from DC and make it easier to get back into the workplace later on.

With you being the higher earner it doesn't make sense for you to be the one to become a SAHP, if you can both go PT that could be the best of both worlds.

I'd second what everyone else has said but more importantly is your husband ok today after yesterday's attack?

I don't want to blather on with my advice yet.

Hi hownow - thanks for your message. Yeah, he's okay. Called into work early this morning but not on shift yesterday although some of his friends were local on counter-terrorism patrols.

Awful for all of those people caught up. Feels like these sort of attacks aren't going to stop at the moment, doesn't it?