To think this is a possibility?

[isthisdooable]

First child due later this year. Husband earns £28k before tax and I earn £34k before tax. Take home about £1900 each as I also have a student loan to pay off.

I do not intend on going back full time after maternity leave and doing the sums now suggests that childcare costs are going to take up a huge chunk of my wage anyway.

Do you think we could survive on just my husband's wage and then I'll go back to work in around 3 years time?

Some further info:
Mortgage: fixed at £920 until 2022
Council tax and utilities: £200
Other bills (phones, life insurance, pet insurance, TV): approx £245

I guess that what I'm really asking is if other people have managed to survive on one wage with all the day to day costs that life throws at you? We're not expecting holidays and treats but I'd also prefer to be able to do things as a family from time to time.

I have no idea about family allowance or anything so can't add things like that into my calculations.

Thanks in advance!

The worst thing about only scrimping by is that you have no freedom. While on paper you can pay the bills, in reality, that's it, you're very limited in what you can do.

You're not going to be in the same position as a woman with a wealthy husband who can join a gym, go get her hair done, hire a babysitter when she needs to... Do classes in the evenings, go out to dinner and socialises with her husband and friends etc...

You won't be able to afford to do anything, you'll be stuck at home with a baby all day because everything costs money. That'll be isolating and depressing.

Not to mention the stress that financial struggle puts on relationships...

hildaOg

Nail on the head. Not working isn't worth it if you're just scraping by and you've curtailed your freedom by more than halving your annual household income.

We are a couple with a baby and we get £939 a month in benefits in benefits (after housing costs). So I think it would be doable, since we manage, but you'd have a similar quality of life to a family claiming the minimum on benefits. We can cope but we do without things that people on ordinary wages would consider normal - e.g. can't afford a car or a pet or life insurance. I think you'd struggle to get your spending down as you're used to a much higher income.

Captain

For me I'd say returning to work is a no brainer financially as you'll still be being home a wage even after childcare.
Do childcare vouchers still exist?

The question would be do you think you'll manage the massive demands of FT teaching a core and raise a baby?

Most families around here manage just fine on that kind of income (or less!). We were fine. You don't need to take small babies to expensive outings and as a teacher most of the salary would be paid in childcare surely?! Teaching is knackering and so so hard to do on little sleep (although you might get a sleeper!)

If you're in a core subject I'd definitely take the time off preschool and enjoy the time with them (you don't get it back...) and return when they start school. It's different if you're in a career you can't return to and need to keep your hand in.

You could apply for exam marking to tide over. I'm glad I had the years at home :)

But it's only for a few years? So you can put off big purchases/big holidays/house stuff until you're back at work.
It's very different to halving income long term.

That doesn't seem like enough left over. Your mortgage payment seems very high indeed. Could you shop around for a better rate or even consider selling and moving somewhere more affordable, if that's at all possible?

Are you/ is your school open to part time?

I went back 0.4 and it was a great compromise for me as I enjoyed my time at work but also felt I wasn't away from DD for too long. But more importantly, 0.4 worked out really well from a tax, pension % etc perspective. DD was in nursery 2 days a week which was covered by what I paid into childcare vouchers (£243 a month in the old system). So I went from full time take home of £1900 to 0.4 take home of £850 with nursery already paid for. And that made it so worthwhile in our circumstances.

I'd return too. Most schools are only hiring NQTs or lower end payscale at the moment so you may end up taking a big pay cut when you return.

With thirteen weeks off a year, in profit after childcare and your own salary should the relationship go pair shaped it's a no brainier.

The extra will mean plenty of opportunities in the holidays that will benefit your child's life and development.

Am option if you have a room and friends have done this and neighbours considered it, is renting a room out, either 5 days a week or a full week.

DB and his DW used to do it - now only 3 days a week rent out room and DW's BB and SIL did it up until their baby was born recently.

Can't recall exactly how much the lodgers allowance is but you'd get a certain amount each month.

I think you could do it but you wouldn't have money to do anything like going out with baby. Being poor with a baby is very hard, the first two months of having baby we had no money and I felt very isolated and depressed because I had no money to go out with DD.
Maybe if you could work part time? You being a private tutor could be an idea because you could do it when you DP is looking after baby (which also means he'll learn to look after baby and be less likely to be lazy with baby 😈)
We have about 1,200 left after bills (not food) and we still feel poor sometimes and there's ALWAYS unexpected bills.

I think it would be genuinely tough & pretty joyless. Don't underestimate how much nappies cost & formula too, if you use it. Babies grow so fast, even if you buy everything 2nd hand, it adds up quickly. It's really hard not knowing how you would pay for life's emergencies- a puncture, boiler break-down etc. We spent years feeling as though we were holding our breath in case anything went wrong. I couldn't advise anyone to deliberately choose to try to live on such a tight budget.

@teaandbiscuitsforme 0.4 sounds lovely. Can you explain childcare vouchers to me? Sorry - totally ignorant!

You will struggle on a (I am assuming) PC's salary. If the Tories win the election you can expect more cuts to Police budgets. When Winsor Pt 2 takes full effect then expect even more cuts and still no payrises for your DH, not even cost of living. Our only holidays (which are v important, esp for shift workers) were camping in an ancient trailer tent.

We coped (just) with me going back p/t (20 hrs a week) and a childminder looking after dd while I was at work. Have you considered that as an option?

The longer you leave returning to work (even if only part-time) the harder it is to convince an employer you can do the job, whilst meeting the demands of a young family. Is part-time something that your current employer would accept? Also having some interaction with others rather than a mainly one-to-one interaction with the parent normally encourages most to be more out going and pro-active with their peers as they grow. The worst part is the guilt you feel at leaving them, even though you know they will be safe and looked after.

How is your school to returning mums?

Many schools around me offer part time contracts, reduced hours, and other ways to manage workload. For example my sil is an 'internal supply' so is on a perm pt contract but doesn't manage her own class, she only covers others' and when everyone's in she works in reception.

If your employer is flexible you're better off staying.

Also, out of interest, why do you want to stay at home with the baby for 3 years & not ask dh?

OP Childcare vouchers were the scheme where you could sacrifice up to £243 a month from your gross salary to pay your childcare provider. So you effectively got 20% more than if you'd taken your full salary and then paid your childcare from that. I'm not sure the details of how the new tax free childcare system works but it's worth a google!

Also, 0.4 keeps you under the tax allowance, anything more tips you over so you start paying tax (like if you did part time plus tutoring on the side).

Since I was pregnant we've only had one wage. I was a nanny and within a week of leaving I was expecting. I took a shop assistant job then left when my pregnancy was deemed at risk. Seventeen years later I've three kids, never went back to work and feel anything that is perceived as missing out on is worth it as I've been at home with the kids. I couldn't have foreseen the amount of times me being at home has helped so it's worked out for the best. We just got used to the money we had and tbh, my nanny career wasn't really a career like in business where I couldn't go back to it at the same level.

I'd definitely not make any decisions now and would try going back and see how it goes. Also, if you have another baby, you'd then be able to have some more paid mat leave. You may go back and decide it's not for you but imo, I'd give it a go.

Why is it you who take the hit for childcare or give up work? Your husband earns less than you. (It would be very expensive childcare too if it was costing £1900 a month). Childcare would come out of both your salaries surely?

Can you both go part time to reduce childcare costs?

scallopsrgreat I post this on pretty much every thread of this type but in simple economics it's not the principle of OP paying entirely for childcare that's being evaluated but the opportunity cost of her (or DH) not working v. childcare cost.

The reverse argument is whether OP or her DH could pay for 100% of mortgage or bills if the other CHOSE to stay at home?

@scallopsrgreat as I said in my op, I would not want to go back full time so I would not be earning £1900 a month.

We have a joint account so both wages go in there and we jointly pay for everything. The example I was using was that if I went back PT, taking home £1000 a month and working three days a week, at least £650 of our money would be childcare costs, based on local nursery fees.

The reason I would be giving up work/ going part time is because I want to. It's not for everyone and yes, I'm sure lots of father make great stay at home dads but I WANT to be with the baby and thankfully, DH is happy for me to take the cut in wages so that I can do that.

chickenjalfrezi, the language isthisdoable used was that the reason she was going to give up work is because her salary would barely cover childcare. Language is important. It is implying that it's her role to cover childcare costs not her husband's. And therefore her role to give up work if childcare was too expensive.