Aibu to ask not allow visiting children to use tablets/phones

[sahbear]

I have 2 DS age 8 and 9. Increasingly visiting children turn up with a tablet. My children have limited screen time. I am a bit torn between being unwelcoming by making them leave their device at the door or unwillingly increasing my children's screentime. What do you do? Mostly this is local friends/neighboring children who are not with their parents.

Why are they coming to your house just to play on their tablets? How weird! If you're going to play at a friend's house surely you're there to interact with them

I think reasonable especially as if they got damaged, the parents might deem you responsible e.g. If one of your kids accidentally dropped one/stood on one.

But it's really rude for them to go round to their friends and then play their own tablet - what's the point?

Presumably so they can play games/watch videos on the tablet together @EveningShadows?

Your house, your rules OP. It's fine if you don't like it but I'm sure it happens a lot more than you'd like when they go to their friends houses without you!

YANBU

They want to make videos, show DS stuff or just arrive clutching them for no good reason.

Ideally ask them not to bring them, although that involves tackling parents. Maybe say you don't want them to get broken/you're trying to reduce DCs screen time.

Dh's best friend does this. He comes round to watch the sport with his dd who is 5 and she brings an iPad. Drives me mad as we don't let our dd use the iPad or our phones (she's 2).

We then spend the next week having to explain that she can't have the iPad or our phones. Drives me mad.

I have had to implement a 'no screens during playdates rule' at mine. Dd (7) started getting frustrated that her friends would rock up for a playdate, grab her iPad and ignore her for 2 hours. So now i hide all electronics, if dc ask where they are i explain to them they have come here to play with dd and direct them to the toys/games.

YANBU, I would do the same.

I could obviously talk to parents but don't want to sound critical of the fact they let their child have unlimited screen time. I currently ask them to turn it off (or take it home) after a bit but ideally I don't want extra screens in our house. They are nice local children though so I don't want to discourage friendship.

You could just tell visiting kids that the wifi is broken. They won't want their tablet if they can't get on youtube etc.

Personally I think you should back off and let them do their own thing. Children socialise using tablets and phones these days- as you say anything from making videos to watching something funny or face timing mates.

Its a shame that some parents don't say to their dc leave tablets at home and only go on phones minimally to take photos.

To ask them not to bring them would be awkward for your dc.

I would just let it go, then carry on with restrictions when their friends aren't there and tell them when they go to other friends houses it is rather bad mannered to be glued to gadgets non stop.

'Get off those things and go play out!'

With accompanying chasey/big flappy hen arms.

I think kids only socialise using devices if you let them. Given an opportunity they can make much better use of their time. I think when they are teenagers it will be very different but at the moment I do want to exercise some control. It's where to draw the line and I think by the time I ask them to turn it off I am exasperated and therefore less welcoming...

I don't see the problem with them making videos with tablets, actually. I thought you meant the visiting child was just sitting on their tablet alone. I think using technology to make things is bit different to regular screen time in the sense that they're using it to be creative.

I did the same with my dad's old camcorder back in the day - surely this is just the modern equivalent?

I like it WellErr They do play out a lot, quite often while filming themselves. I don't mind that though.

Turn off your wi fi. 'Showing each other videos' - have you checked the parental controls?

Provide less dangerous games.

Yes it's a sad state of affairs when an 8 year old comes round and their first question is "what's your Wi-Fi code?" !!
I let them have the odd ten minutes on them, then tell them to put them away and go and play. I had this yesterday with an 8 year old asking why my dd doesn't have a texting facility. I asked who the friend texted on theirs. "My mum and my dad"

(who they live with) 😣

When my DD was young and if she had a friend over I would allow them spend some time on our desktop computer if they wished, obviously it wasn't the whole time but I don't see an issue with a bit of screen time.

Agree with caffeine. Times are moving on. You are entitled to set your rules but children play in different ways and with different things these days.

We turn the wifi off. Or put it on for 30 mins then switch it off. Admittedly doesn't help completely with phones.

YANBU. Kids need to be encouraged to interact with each other. It's a downwards spiral for them otherwise.

I wouldn't mind if it wasn't excessive. If they seem to be using them a lot, I'd just say to them there's been enough playing with tablets for today, and tell them they need to play with something else/get outdoors etc. Kids generally understand that different people have different rules, but as long as they're not sitting on their own playing on their tablets and not interacting with each other then I don't see the harm in letting them get on with it for a while if that's what they enjoy.

It's very depressing that there are posters saying that "children play differently" these days. They do so as lazy parents let them.

It is particularly sad given the studies linking screen time and mental health issues www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/science/head-quarters/2013/aug/29/screen-time-mental-health-children

If your child wasn't so restricted with their screen time, they'd probably tell their friends themselves.

The kids make fabulous videos & musically things. They watch you tubers do gymnastics & spend hours copying them.

They group chat, it's great for working out life.

'Screen tme' is not all bad.

IF you really need to, simply say 'Right, enough screen time, you'll all get square eyes!! Put all devices on the table & go DO something'.

No Big Deal.

Just stop getting pissy because the world is different than when you were a child.